But I Don’t Understand…

I’m getting a double whammy this week–two Bible study groups; one studying Daniel and the other Job.  Some of you will groan just reading the first sentence.  Along with the book of Revelations, these are two of the most difficult and misunderstood books in the Bible.  And for good reason.  The book of Daniel doesn’t just contain the favorite stories of Daniel in the Lions’ Den and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, it also contains prophetic visions that seem to foreshadow two distinct sets of events– one set that happened in the time between Daniel’s life and the birth of Christ, and another set of events yet to come.

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The book of Job is puzzling– there are no good clues as to when it took place, or exactly where, or even if it is real or a parable.  There is a curious interchange between God and Satan that is unlike any other passage in scripture.  Finally, it is filled with difficult dialogues from Job and his friends, as they try to make sense of his suffering as God stays silent.  When God finally speaks, He doesn’t directly answer Job’s questions or his friends’ misleading statements.

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What happens when I don’t understand what God is doing (or seemingly NOT doing) in my life or the lives of others?  What happens when the world doesn’t make sense, and the Bible doesn’t seem to shed any light?  What happens when I pray, but God seems silent?

I think the answer has a lot to do with where I am in my relationship with Christ:

  • I can panic, lose faith, or become angry and insolent.  If I don’t know God or don’t trust him; if I doubt his goodness or wisdom or power, I may run from his word and his presence.
  • I can lean on my own understanding.  I can substitute my own limited wisdom for God’s, and try to “explain away” all the things I don’t quite understand.  I may ignore the Bible passages I don’t understand, in favor of doubling down on the ones I think I know.  I can insist on my own interpretations of difficult or disturbing passages, even if someone points out inconsistencies in my logic, or context clues that disagree with my view.

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  • I can lean on someone else’s understanding, listening to their views without question or without reading and praying through it myself.  If someone else has an answer, shouldn’t that be enough?  Even if I still don’t fully understand, at least I have an answer…
  • I can ignore the question–after all, do I really need to know about God?  Isn’t it enough that He exists and He is good?  If I say it loud enough and often enough, won’t that make the questions go away?
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It seems that there is a better way– God never promises us easy answers or complete answers to all the questions in this life.  We can be angry or grateful for that truth, but most of all we must accept it.  God will answer many of our questions–maybe not in the time and manner we expect.  And some of them we won’t understand this side of heaven.  But the Bible is clear in calling us to pursue answers, and be honest when we don’t understand.  God may not give us a simple answer, but He promises to give us wisdom– wisdom to seek, and wisdom to wait; wisdom to trust, and wisdom to keep knocking.
Ask, Seek, Knock, Wrestle, Search, Pray, Plead, Study, and Learn.

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On The Witness Stand

Last week, I was called upon to give testimony in court as a witness to a crime.  The crime itself occurred months ago, so I was very nervous, trying to remember the sequence of events, and trying to make sure I didn’t add or leave out important details.

There is a reason the judge asks for “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”  It is very easy to exaggerate, to leave out details that may reflect poorly on us or on those we know, or to add commentary or opinion.  Even the way a lawyer asks a question can evoke a certain memory or reaction that is more or less than the original event warrants.

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As hard as I tried, I couldn’t tell the entire “truth”–not because I lied or withheld evidence, but because I only witnessed a portion of the crime, and because I don’t have total and perfect recall.  No one does.  Three witnesses may testify and get certain details “wrong” or mix up the sequence of events, or be confused or hazy months after the event.  Even seeing the same event from a different perspective can alter one’s testimony.  One person hears a conversation clearly, but cannot see one speaker’s facial expressions or gestures.  Another sees the event close up, but cannot see what is happening “behind the scene.”  One person’s personal biases may come out in the way they give testimony, even if they are unaware of it. While I hope and believe that I told the truth as I witnessed it, my witness alone is not enough to determine the defendant’s guilt or innocence–nor should it be.

The ninth Commandment (in Exodus 20) warns about giving or “bearing” false witness.  We usually equate this with lying, but it is more than telling “a whopper.”  Bearing false witness includes spreading rumors, “sharing” questionable posts, omitting facts, and even “faking it” until you make it– pretending to be what we are not; hypocrisy, and false appearances.

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As a follower of Jesus, I am a full-time witness.  This is far more important even than being a witness in a court case.  I should always speak and behave as if I am “under oath.”  Not just when I know all eyes may be watching; not just when I’m with other “witnesses.”  Always.  This doesn’t mean that I aggressively volunteer my opinion and beat people over the head with commentary everywhere I go.  It doesn’t mean that I smile and say only what I think others want to hear.  It means that I speak less than I listen, but when I speak, it is truth–loving, sometimes harsh, spoken with the intent to help, heal, encourage, challenge, and bring justice.

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In prayer, it means that I repent of falsehood, pride, envy, anger, and bitterness.  It means that I acknowledge God for who He is, and myself for who I am in Him.  It means that I ask for wisdom to seek and see truth, and to see through deception and falsehood–even in my own heart and mind.  And it means that I thank God for His Truth, which is perfect and victorious.  I pray that the Truth will shine in, around, and through my life and my words, and in the lives of others.

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Many people will point out when I get it “wrong.”  They will point to other Christ-followers, other “witnesses” whose lives may look different from mine, who speak differently, act differently, vote differently, even worship differently than me.  And I need to trust that the “whole” truth will come from each of us bearing honest and full witness to what we know and experience of God’s goodness, His power, and His love.  I don’t have the “whole” truth– but I am a witness of the one who IS the whole Truth!

Arise, Go Forth, and Conquer!

I love quirky motivational posters.  A friend of mine once had a poster with an awkward looking duckling– wide-eyed and still fuzzy–with the caption,

“Arise, Go Forth, and Conquer!”

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The phrase comes from Tennyson in Idylls of the King, but it is reminiscent of phrases given to Joshua as he prepared to lead the Israelites across the Jordan and into the promised land.

Joshua 1:2-3 (NKJV)   2 “Moses My servant is dead. Now therefore, arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them—the children of Israel. 3 Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given you, as I said to Moses.

God tells him several times to “Be strong and courageous..” (Joshua 1:6), “Be strong and very courageous.” (Joshua 1:7),  “…be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

When I think of being strong and courageous, I don’t usually think of ducklings!  I think of hero bodybuilders or armored knights of old…people who are prepared to crush and conquer and face an army.  Yet God repeats the phrase to Joshua, including at last the command to “not be terrified; do not be discouraged..”, which indicates that Joshua was close to terror and despair, rather than filled with hope and adrenaline.

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And little wonder.  Joshua had to be experiencing a slight sense of Déjà vu.  About forty years earlier, he had been part of the group of spies sent to scout out the promised land…spies who had come back terrified and discouraged.  The entire nation was ready to rebel against Moses and even God.  Now, forty years later, Joshua was to try again– this time as Moses’ replacement, a new leader for a new generation already prone to complain and rebel.

Some days I feel a little like Joshua– facing walled cities, giants, and feeling totally inadequate to the task.  Some days it even feels like a struggle to “arise”, let alone going forth to conquer.

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And then God reminds me…”Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given you, as I said to Moses.”  It’s not that God is literally leading me into the promised land as I go to the grocery store or face a difficult customer at work or walk around the neighborhood.   But, figuratively, He is helping me win battles against temptation, discouragement, anger, and bitterness.  He IS with me wherever I go, and He wants me to trust HIS strength and wisdom to triumph.  I become “more than a conquerer” (Romans 8:37) when I stop trying to fight in my own strenth and rely on His.  My strength may be minimal, my motivation questionable, and my wisdom lacking, but I can waddle confidently into battle, knowing that the victory is certain!

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This is also true for my pursuit of prayer– My prayers are often flighty, inadequate, sporadic, and even grudging.  I keep a prayer journal, and that can help with motivation, discipline, and even praise, but it doesn’t guarantee that I will draw perfectly near to God or follow Him with total faithfulness.  The more I rely on MY efforts, the more I am fighting to replace God’s strength and wisdom with my own.  God doesn’t want me on the sidelines, or sleeping in– He wants me in the game.  But the outcome doesn’t depend on my ability or my performance (or my lack of feathers!)

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