Category: Christian living

“Say to this mountain…”

In reply Jesus said to the disciples, “If you only have faith in God—this is the absolute truth—you can say to this Mount of Olives, ‘Rise up and fall into the Mediterranean,’ and your command will be obeyed. All that’s required is that you really believe and have no doubt! (Mark 11:22-23– The Living Bible)

Have you ever said to a mountain– “Rise up and fall into the Mediterranean?” I doubt any of us have done so. But is that what Jesus really meant when He gave this instruction to His disciples? What was He really trying to say?

The Bible is crammed full of literary devices– metaphors, parables, hyperbole, personification–and yet people get criticized for reading it too “literally” or too “literarily.” In this passage, Jesus uses hyperbole to show that we can boldly pray about ANYTHING– there is nothing too big or too impossible for God to accomplish. But Jesus is not suggesting that we foolishly ask God for ridiculous things just to demonstrate His power. In fact, Satan tempted Jesus in this very way in the desert (see Matthew 4:1-11 and Luke 4:1-13). He asked Jesus to throw Himself off the highest point of the Temple, to prove that angels would come to His rescue and He wouldn’t be hurt. But Jesus rebuked him, saying, “it is also written, ‘Do not put the LORD your God to the test.'” So, it seems that Jesus is not “literally” asking His disciples to move physical mountains just to prove it can be done.

To put this scene in context, Jesus had passed by the same road just a day before, and looking for a snack, He had passed a fig tree, but the tree had no fruit. Jesus casually made a pronouncement– “You shall never bear fruit again!” When He and the disciples pass that way again just a day later, the tree has withered, and the disciples are astonished. But the lesson here is not about trees and mountains– it is about Faith and about the power of our Words.

We may never have cause to move an actual mountain, but there are many metaphorical “mountains” that we must climb or go around in life. And many people will sneer at Jesus’s assurance that if we have faith, such mountains can be told to “Rise up and fall into the Mediterranean.” That cancer diagnosis; the horrible boss at work; those medical bills that seem impossible to pay off; the pain of abandonment when your spouse demands a divorce– we can pray fervently, tearfully, desperately, only to see the mountain seem just as immovable as ever.

So, what DOES Jesus really mean? Is He lying about the power of faith? Is He setting us up to pray for disappointment? What can we learn from the mountain analogy? What can we learn from the fig tree?

I don’t have a complete or definitive answer. But I can share a couple of insights. As I said above, I don’t believe the lesson here is about the tree or the mountain. It’s about Faith, the power of words, and ultimately, about perspective.

Let’s start with the tree. Jesus is hungry. He goes to a tree, where he hopes to find a fig. But the tree offers nothing. Jesus could walk away, grumbling about the tree. “Stupid tree! I wanted a fig, but NOOOO!” What a childish outburst that would have been. And I have been guilty of this very kind of silly complaining and grumbling over a car that doesn’t start, or a weed that pops up in my garden, or a co-worker who said something that hurt my feelings. Notice what Jesus DID– He addressed the tree. He did not complain to the gardener or punch the tree trunk or rant in the street or spend the rest of the day nursing His disappointment. By the next day He had completely forgotten the incident– it was His disciples who were still interested in the tree. Jesus had moved on.

How often do I wallow in hurt, frustration, or guilt? How often do I replay conversations in my head, or waste time trying to assign blame for my circumstances? How often do I go behind someone’s back to complain, instead of asking for clarification or confronting a misunderstanding? How long do I chase down an apology or an explanation from someone else for my own hurt feelings and bruised ego? Jesus asks us to be proactive–to speak up in prayer, in conversation, and yes, sometimes even in confrontation.

A final thought about the withered fig tree. The same Jesus who used His words to heal lepers and forgive sins, used His words to wither the fig tree that had not served Him. He did not scorch the fig tree or take and ax to it and chop it down, but in judgment, He caused the tree to wither. Jesus had the power to judge the Pharisees, the demons who tormented people, the tax collectors with whom He dined, and the prostitutes He forgave. With a single breath, He could have destroyed the Roman oppressors, wiped out the corrupt priests, and cleaned up the masses of beggars and thieves of Jerusalem. But instead, He told stories. He fed the hungry. He gave sight to the blind. And He warned the hypocrites of the judgment to come if they did not repent. Words are so very powerful. What we say, (and what we listen to) we will come to believe. The Bible tells us that “Nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:37; Matthew 19:26)

The disciples were focused on the fig tree when Jesus dropped a bombshell pronouncement. “Say to this mountain…” But it wasn’t about the mountain. It was about the “impossible” power of God. It was about looking beyond the mountain and addressing the real obstacle– lack of faith and perspective.

The Apostle Paul spoke of a “thorn in the flesh” (see 2 Corinthians 12:7-10). Three times he prayed that God would remove it, and God said, “No.” But God also gave Paul a different perspective– it wasn’t about the “thorn,” it was about pride. Paul’s continuing struggle with his “thorn” meant that he had to rely on God’s power to overcome his physical weakness. Paul’s “mountain” of pain could have stopped him from doing God’s work. But God moved the real “mountain”– Paul’s reliance on his own passion and drive– and threw it into the sea, so that Paul could move on in his real purpose.

In a very small way, I had a “mountain moving” lesson years ago at work. I clashed with my “new” boss. I found her verbally harsh toward my fellow co-workers, and I disagreed with her vision for the future of our workplace. I campaigned and complained, and I prayed that God would expose her corruption and remove her from our workplace. But it wasn’t about the “mountain” I saw in my boss. God moved me (and later her) out of that job and into new opportunities. And He showed me how my own attitude had contributed to the problem and not the solution. I had to track her down and apologize for MY actions and forgive her. And suddenly, the “mountain” I had made of the situation was gone! But I had to come to the point of believing that God would remove the actual “mountain” and not the one I had created.

In larger ways, I have seen cancer patients who have thrived in spite of their condition; I have seen others pronounced cancer-free. I have seen lost family members restored to Faith and relationships healed. I have seen God’s provision and protection in seemingly impossible situations. God CAN move mountains! And God WILL make a way, where there seems to be no way! But I have to ask, and believe, instead of complaining and isolating, or hiding in the shadow of my own “mountains.”

Will I believe that today, even when I can’t see how He will do it? Will I ASK Him to move my mountains– both large and small? Will I ask God to show me all that is possible through His power? In His way and in His time? Will I ask Him, not just for what I think I want or need, but for ANYTHING that HE wants for me? Because when I do, when I turn my focus from the mountain to the Mover of Mountains– Amazing things WILL happen!

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Language Matters

I’m not talking about English v Spanish or French or Urdu, but our ‘language’ very much matters. The words we choose to say make a difference. They reveal much more than just what we’re thinking or feeling. They reveal character.

When I was in college, I lived in a dorm that was co-ed by suite. That meant that two freshmen boys lived across the hall from my roommate and me (both seniors). They were nice guys, but their language was often crude. Once, I spoke to one of them about his use of the “F” word. He responded by digging up a typed-up sheet singing the praises of that word. It was versatile– it could be a noun, a verb, an adjective, or an exclamation! It had a long history, tracing back to Medieval English usage. It carried power and shock value. People like me were prudes, afraid of using powerful words and intimidated by traditional moral codes and “language snobs” who judged others. After all, we lived in America, d*** it! The land of free speech. Who was I to try to make him feel bad about his words?!

On the surface, he wasn’t wrong. The word is not “illegal”; it poses no immediate threat or danger. It is not a word meant to belittle or “cancel” its hearers, like an ethnic or racial epithet. What was the harm? Who was I to lecture him? His roommate stood by and said nothing, but his own language hadn’t been much better. Was I wrong to say anything? I was only a few years older, and a fellow college student? Was I just being prudish? It wasn’t as if he had told racist jokes or called me a crude name? What was the big deal? It was one four-letter word.

But it reveals something about the character of the person who makes a habit of sprinkling such words in their conversations. It says that their “freedom” to use such words is of greater value than their respect for their listeners. It says that the speaker chooses not to practice self-control over their speech (and likely over other parts of their life). It may reveal sloppy or lazy thinking and a weak vocabulary. And, whether we like it or not, it labels us; people will judge us based on how we speak, and on the words we choose. Even though celebrities and professors use such language. Even if such language is considered popular and even “cool.” And it encompasses all of our word choices–blasphemy and crude language, negativity in our speech, bragging and boasting, a propensity for gossip and smearing the reputations of others, lying and ‘stretching the truth’– the list goes on. Just because we CAN say something doesn’t make it wise or helpful or powerful or “right.”

3-5 A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! 5-6 It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. 7-10 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!10-12 My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you? 13-16 Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here’s what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn’t wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn’t wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn’t wisdom. It’s the furthest thing from wisdom—it’s animal cunning, devilish plotting. Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats. 17-18 Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. (James 3:3-18 –The Message)

This “taming of the tongue” is especially problematic for the one who wishes to pursue Holiness and Christlikeness. The Apostle James, in his epistle, spends almost an entire chapter discussing the issue of purity in speech (or lack thereof)! He compares it to taming a wild beast or trying to put out a raging fire. Because careless language can do as much damage as deliberate malicious or violent action. Passing along gossip may seem fun in the moment, but it can ruin an innocent reputation, AND cause people to lose trust in your ability to keep privacy, or respect others. Crude language may seem empowering and brave the first few times you use it, but it becomes habitual and attaches to your character. Snide remarks about others– social or ethnic groups, people who vote differently than you, annoying neighbors with a different ‘accent’– may seem offhand and innocuous, but they reveal your pride, lack of respect, and inability to live in peace and harmony. You become known for your ‘salty’ dialogue or your sarcastic “zingers”. You use certain words more and more often until they lose all the ‘power’ they once had to shock or intimidate. Opportunities to speak up on important matters may be given to others who can control their professional and responsible use of language. Not because your thoughts lack purpose or power, but because you show everyone that you lack the power to choose words wisely for maximum influence, peacefulness, and persuasion. And for the Christian who has developed the habit of taking the Lord’s name ‘loosely’, it lessens the impact of your witness that Christ is really your beloved Lord and King. He’s just another character whose name and reputation you toss around carelessly.

James makes a very real point in his letter– NO ONE can tame the tongue. It is natural and human to repeat words we hear, words that seem so convenient, so simple. Only with the help of the Holy Spirit can we ‘re-wire’ our brains and our tongues to speak words that give honor to others, Glory to God, and reflect wisdom and discipline that we are receiving from God Himself. We won’t always get it right– especially if we do not develop discipline in our speech. And we can’t do it at all without deliberate effort and dependence on the Spirit’s help

But language DOES matter. The guy across the hall in the memory above– we never saw eye to eye about this issue, though we remained friends. But his roommate surprised me many weeks after the above interaction. He was introducing me to one of his classmates, and the other young man started telling a story laced with profanity. My young friend stopped his buddy mid-sentence and challenged him to mind his language. “She’s a lady. She doesn’t appreciate that kind of language.” His friend seemed surprised, but he immediately cleaned up his words. And I’m almost positive it wasn’t because I gave off “Lady” vibes of any kind. I don’t even think it related directly to the incident above with the other roommate. My friend had listened to my roommate and I– he had taken note of the way we spoke, and the way we DIDN’T speak. He knew we were Christians, and that we didn’t just “talk the talk”– our lives and our language showed that we wanted to honor God above all. And when he heard his friend speaking in my presence– there was a huge mismatch. He could hear the difference immediately. He didn’t demand the “right” to use (or force me to listen to) foul language. Instead, he started to see (and hear) the wisdom and even the power of self-control.

This holds true for prayer, as well. Not that most of us use profanity in our prayer life. But how often do we use words that are negative, doubtful, selfish, or envious? Do we pay careful attention to the very words we bring before the King of Kings and our Loving Savior? Do we try to wheedle and plead instead of presenting our requests to God with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6-7)? Do we approach God as “the man upstairs” or my “Father, who are in Heaven” (Matthew 6:9)? Is He my heavenly honcho, or the Eternally Holy One and the Victorious Lamb of God?

Today I pray that my speech would reflect the Love, Wisdom, and Power of God. We are to be “salt and light” (see Matthew 5:13-16), not “salty.” Our words can bring encouragement, hope, joy, peace, empowerment, and yes, even conviction to others! But we must tame the tendency to use careless words that bring destruction, conflict, arrogance, or insult. And we must reflect on how our words reflect our heart for God– especially when we use them to pray!

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Of Prime Rib and Bruised Kneecaps

My sister works for a multi-national corporation. Her division won a competition, and she invited me to the celebration event last weekend. It was a fabulous opportunity to spend time with my sister, meet many of her colleagues, and enjoy being “spoiled” as a guest. We flew to the world headquarters in Atlanta, took a tour, got dressed up and attended the “event.” They had prime rib, chicken wings with peach barbecue sauce, shrimp, a variety of pasta dishes and vegetable sides, desserts, beverages, and tons of “bling.” They gave out hats, patches, pins, bandanas, light-up bracelets, rings, and glasses, leather bookmarks, robot-drawn caricatures, photos, bags, and more. There was a private concert with a major musical artist, as well as a drum corps, trampoline artists, people walking around on stilts, and ladies in LED costumes dancing. It was like a Circus and a visit to Disneyworld all wrapped up together.

What does any of this have to do with prayer (or bruised kneecaps)? I’m getting to that…

My description of this weekend may not seem to include God, but He was definitely there every step of the way. We made it to the airport with plenty of time on Friday. This was important because my sister had mobility issues and cannot walk quickly through the airport. Right at the entrance, there was a lady from our airline who confirmed that a porter would be able to take my sister in a wheelchair directly to our gate, saving us both time and stress. He was amazing, helping us feel comfortable and even festive as we waited to board. At our gate, we were informed that our seat assignments had changed– we were right behind first class and had extra leg room!

The flight was terrific. I had not flown in a few years, and I always like to fly– to see clouds from the top, to see whole farms and villages rolling out below; to see rivers and hills and mountains from a distance and to realize just how big the world really is. It also reminds me that I am incredibly small and weak, but that God is bigger, more powerful, and more wonderful than anything I can see (or even imagine) from the airplane. Mary and I were able to chat, “catch up,” and reminisce as we sailed through cloudy skies and bumped pleasantly along with minor turbulence.

Then, mid-flight, we were told that our plane might have to divert to Montgomery or Birmingham due to a storm front in Atlanta. All or our arrangements had been carefully planned, and while we might not miss the event entirely, a delay for refueling or worse, having to change planes, would make us late and leave us with no time to check in at the hotel or change into our dress clothes! Yet, minutes later, our pilot informed us that all the details “had been worked out” so that we would land in Atlanta on time! Coincidence? I don’t think so!

We arrived at the Atlanta airport and were immediately surprised to learn that the wheelchair my sister requested was not only not there, all her information about the flight we just deboarded had been lost– they had no record that she had ordered a wheelchair, or even that she had been on the plane! But within less than ten minutes, all those details had been worked out, and we were escorted through the airport and taken directly and safely (by a very pleasant man from Senegal) to the area where we got an Uber to our hotel. The hotel had snacks and an event station where we were welcomed and made comfortable, and we were warmly greeted, not only by the hotel staff, but by many of my sister’s co-workers, including her boss’s boss’s boss! We had plenty of time, not only to change, but to take the tour we had planned earlier!

Returning to our hotel from the afternoon’s activities, we changed and went down to the lobby, where we were informed that, in spite of a last-minute cancellation, someone had been found to drive us (and another pair of sisters with mobility issues) to the event, instead of having to walk two or three blocks and several hundred yards through the gates and walkways at the stadium. More wheelchairs were provided for my sister and the other woman once we arrived at the venue, and my sister was warmly greeted (as was I) by more of her colleagues. This event could have been a nightmare of people pushing and shoving, jockeying for the best seats or the best food based on their seniority or title, chugging down free alcoholic drinks and becoming obnoxious, and generally behaving at their worst. Instead, it was civil, friendly, celebratory, and filled with people from all over North America, from all stations and positions within the corporation, enjoying a night of being together in one place and enjoying a well-earned celebration. One of the special guests of the night was the chairman of another large corporation– one known for His Christian values, which he spoke of freely!

We went back to the hotel, exhausted but strangely energized by the whole thing, and eager to enjoy the luxury of our hotel room. We had to wait several minutes for an elevator (due to the crowds returning from the event), which allowed us to meet yet another wonderful couple who were enjoying their anniversary. It has sometimes been my experience that when strangers have to wait in lines or ride through busy city streets, they can either get on one another’s last nerve, or they can become new friends. We made a lot of new friends in less than 24 hours!

The next day, we went to the Atlanta airport to get our flight home. Once again, we had a great porter who got us through security and even helped another couple who were struggling with her motorized wheelchair. The porter made sure we all stayed together until we had to split up at Concourse D. More new friends! We had plenty of time, so we walked down the long concourse (our gate was nearly the last one!) And that’s when disaster struck!

Have you ever had one of those moments when you know you are going to fall– you try to regain your balance, but you see yourself falling in a series of awkward stumbles and jerks, and the floor is rising rapidly to meet your face? Well, I ended up falling on my purse, which did a great job of protecting my rib cage. And I landed at such an angle that I did not hit my head or shoulder. I did not break or dislocate any of my bones. I did, however, land on my left knee and my right hand. Several people immediately came to see if I was ok. My knee and leg were throbbing, as was my hand near my thumb. But I was able to get up and walk, albeit painfully. I limped the rest of the way to our gate, waiting to see if I could hobble onto the plane and into my seat. We still had over an hour before our plane left, so I managed to hobble as far as a restroom and a snack bar (both within a few yards, thankfully) and back to the gate area, proving I could do so.

Yet God was there, too! My tumble could have been so very much worse. I could have required hospitalization in Atlanta (or even when I got home). I might have been concussed or suffered a sprain that would have kept us from making our final flight. Instead, I am sore, but able to recuperate at home, and write about my experience from the comfort of my own chair. And I have a much greater understanding of what my sister goes through each time she has to travel. My injuries are temporary and sharp– her pain is deep and chronic. I got to see how many wonderful people work to make it possible and even enjoyable for people with mobility issues to travel safely, and I was humbled to experience what it means to rely on the goodness of strangers.

They say that “the devil is in the details.” But this weekend, I was reminded over and over again that it is really God who shows up in the details. When God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6), it covers everything and everywhere from 35,000 feet in the air, to staring at the parquet flooring of an airport concourse– from being in a long line waiting for an elevator to being guided through a tunnel underneath a huge stadium–from help with reservations and transportation to meeting needs for companionship and connection, and yes, even recuperation. God was there in every (even painful) step of the way!

This weekend saw blessings– from prime rib at dinner, to bruised kneecaps (not normally considered a blessing), and I’m grateful, knowing God saw all of this in advance and provided just the right help in His time!

We may not always see God’s hand at work in the moment, but rest assured that He is in control, that He is right by our side every moment, and that we can trust Him to work out the details!

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I Can’t Do All Things

 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (Philippians 4:13 KJV)

I remember memorizing this Bible verse (in the King James version above) as a child. It is one of the most quoted (and, I think, misunderstood) verses I know. Taken out of context, it seems to promise unlimited potential for the Christian. I can… perform miracles, do six impossible things before breakfast, leap over a tall building, bring about world peace, and finish folding the laundry from last week!

The reality is that I can’t do ALL things. There are many things I simply cannot do– even as a Christian. I cannot grow six inches taller or shed 45 pounds overnight. I cannot cure cancer. I cannot bring about world peace. Christ CAN do any of that and more; and He can work through me to accomplish great things– more than I can do in my own power. But if I expect to do whatever I imagine or aspire to– I will be disappointed. Even with God’s Power working in my life.

But God is not only a source of power– He is the source of wisdom and love. And in His wisdom and love, he often limits what He will allow me to do. So, there are supernatural things I cannot do without God’s help and power, and there are seemingly ordinary things I cannot do without God’s permission and grace, because doing those things will go against God’s perfect plan.

I was speaking recently with a friend of mine from church. We were speaking of infertility– a problem we have both experienced. Most of the women I know who experience infertility, barrenness, multiple miscarriages, etc., have to come to terms with the ache of being “abnormal.” We assume that “normal” women can become pregnant and have children. We accept that sometimes a woman will lose a child in the womb. But when it happens over and over again, or when a woman can’t seem to get pregnant, it causes a woman to question her identity and worth. “Am I even a ‘real’ woman?” “What kind of woman can’t do the most basic “womanly” thing– give life?” We also have to come to terms with the fact that God has chosen to allow this in our lives. Does God still love me, or is He angry with me or punishing me for being “not enough”? How can God love me and let me suffer such emptiness?

And we’ve all heard stories– amazing stories in the Bible and elsewhere– of women who DID get pregnant through a miracle. Sarah, Mary, Elizabeth, Rachel, Hannah…In fact, we hear nothing of women who are barren in the old Bible stories…or do we? Anna in Luke chapter 2 is an old widow who lives in the temple. There is no mention of any children, only of her devotion to the Temple and to her God. Dorcas, who was raised from the dead by the Apostle Peter in Acts 9, is praised, not for her motherhood, but for her charitable deeds among her neighbors. Deborah, the prophetess and judge who led the Israelites into battle along with their general Barak, is mentioned as a wife, but not a mother. In ancient societies, very few women were singled out for praise outside of their roles as wives and mothers.

As women, we may question many aspects of our “role” in society. Some of us chafe at the traditional roles we are expected to perform, while others question why their traditional roles seem to be denied. I spent decades questioning why I remained “on the sidelines”– unmarried, lackluster dating opportunities, out of step with other women my age. When I first was diagnosed with Stein-Levinthal syndrome and told that it would almost eliminate any chance that I could become a mother, it was almost a relief. At least I could “congratulate” myself for not disappointing a husband I didn’t have, or go through the pain of watching him question his manhood when no children came, not knowing if the “problem” was his or mine. Other friends of mine question their role as “the weaker sex,” going to great lengths to prove that they don’t need a man in their life, or that they can compete with men for jobs, status, wealth, and power.

But God didn’t just create me to “DO” things. God created me to BE. And He created me to be in relationship with Him. And my experience gives me the opportunity to speak into the lives of other women who are hurting. I have found purpose and comfort, love and abundant joy, challenge and opportunity in the midst of infertility. And now that I’m in my sixties, I find it easier to reconnect with women my age who are empty-nesters, grandmas, widows, and “maiden aunts.” God has allowed us to DO many things.

I am struck by the fact that Philippians 4:13 was written by the Apostle Paul. Paul was in prison when he wrote this letter. “I can do all things” did not mean that Paul was able to escape prison walls or the sentence he was under. It didn’t mean that he could compel his friends to stay and attend to his needs. It didn’t mean that he could escape this “thorn in the flesh” that he wrote about in 2 Corinthians or defy the aging process. Paul didn’t mean that he could literally do “all” things. But he was reminding the Philippian believers of all the amazing things that he could and did do in his work as a missionary. He didn’t cheat death altogether, but he cheated it several times, living through beatings and shipwrecks and snakebites. He didn’t escape the thorn in the flesh, but he persevered in spite of it. And remarkably, though Paul never married or had biological children, he built relationships with people like Timothy, whom he considered a son. And He accomplished amazing things for the Kingdom of God!

So, no, I cannot do ALL things– I cannot do some of the miraculous things I want to do. Sometimes, it is even God’s will that I should be prevented from doing such things– even good and “normal” things– in order that God can mold me into a shape and for a purpose that is just right for HIS perfect plan. I may not see it in my lifetime or understand it perfectly. I will still grieve for what “might have been” in my life. But I will continue to experience joy in the journey the God has mapped out for me. And whatever He asks– well, I CAN do that! Not on my own, but beyond what I can imagine!

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What Happens in Gibeah…

Near the end of the book of Judges, there is a curious story; one often overlooked because of its sad and gruesome nature. Read the whole story here: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges%2019-21&version=TLB

When one first encounters this story, it seems horrific but also disconnected somehow. Throughout the rest of the book of Judges, the narrative focuses on individuals who led the nation of Israel as they moved into and settled in the Promised Land. Moses and Joshua had led them TO the land, and now others were leading them IN the land. Some of them became household names as their stories echoed through the ages– Gideon, Samson, and to a lesser extent, Barak and Deborah and Jael–heroes in battle, but often weak in leadership. But as the book continues, the stories are much less heroic and much more appalling. The story of Gibeah is a tragic and disgusting downfall for the entire nation, rife with rape, murder, and civil war.

Hundreds of years later, the prophets Isaiah and Hosea make reference to Gibeah, and the horrors that were committed there. As bad as the story of Gibeah is, I believe it holds lessons and warnings for us even today.

  • At the beginning of the story, we learn that a Levite (a priest or priestly worker) who lived in a remote town took as his concubine a woman from Bethlehem in Judah. He brought her to the remote hill country where he lived. But she ran away and returned to her father’s house. Four months later, the man decides to track her down and bring her back home. Why are these details important? They seem innocuous, until you see how far from God’s plan and purpose the people have strayed.
    • The Levite was not supposed to take a concubine at all. He was to marry only a virgin from his own tribe. The passage is a little confusing on this point, calling her a concubine AND a wife. Either way, it seems she was not the sort of woman with whom he was supposed to create a family.
    • And she left him, so it seems that this was not a solid and committed relationship. He doesn’t follow her immediately.
    • He waits four months before going to check on her and attempting to bring her back. Once again, the context is unclear– maybe he was exercising patience, hoping that “absence makes the heart grow fonder” or hoping that time would mend whatever was wrong between them, but it could also be that he was just not in a great hurry to resume a relationship with her, but merely retrieving a bit of property.
  • Once the Levite tracks down the concubine, he is lulled into staying several days in the house of his father-in-law.
    • This would not have been unusual for that time period or region; hospitality was a hallmark of the people, and the father-in-law may have wanted to help smooth things over by giving his daughter more time at home to reconcile herself to the long journey and the return to her husband’s household. But this interaction does not feel like hospitality. There seems to be an undercurrent between the Levite and the woman’s father. The story never explores this, and maybe I am reading more into the story than what is there, but it seems that this relationship is not one based on love and deep affection, but more of a business transaction or power struggle.
    • If the woman was a concubine, she may have been returning to a household where she was a lesser wife and faced scorn or abuse from the Levite’s other wife or wives. Again, we do not know this from the context, but she does not seem eager to leave her father’s house, and the father does not seem comfortable sending her away.
    • The Levite seems reluctant to spend time with his father-in-law, yet it takes little convincing for him to stay four extra nights. Finally, on the fifth day, he insists that he will leave, even though it is now growing late.
  • As the Levite approaches the area around Jebus (Jerusalem), he refuses to stay there, as the Israelites have not conquered the city, and he does not want to stay with “foreigners.” He pushes on to Gibeah precisely because he assumes it will be safer to stay among his “own people.”
  • What happens that night in Gibeah begins almost the same as the scene that was described in Genesis 19, when the angels of the LORD visited the wicked city of Sodom, and the men of the city demanded to have sex with them. Just as Lot offered his two virgin daughters, the host offers his own virgin daughter to the mob. But this time, the concubine is trapped outside all night, left to be gang-raped and abused all night.
    • How horrified are the host and the Levite at the demands of the men of Gibeah? The host, much like Lot in Genesis, seems to be aware of the wickedness going on all around him, but powerless or without a will to stand up to it. The Levite does nothing to defend the woman he just “rescued” from her father’s house. He seems reconciled to the idea that she will be raped but is furious when she is left for dead?! Again, some of this is lost in the context of the story and the culture of that time, but surely none of this behavior lines up with the laws and regulations of the Israelites as given by Moses– not just the behavior of the men of Gibeah, but also that of the Levite.
    • The incident at Gibeah is actually WORSE than the one in Sodom! Israel has fallen so low that Sodom looks less wicked in comparison! The prophet Hosea, speaking of Israel’s prostitution with false gods and their coming judgment, refers to Gibeah as the place where judgment will (and should) begin because they have rejected their God. Jesus echoes this sentiment when He says in Matthew that judgment will be worse for those who reject Him than it was for the people of Sodom and Gomorrah. Sodom was a wicked city, but the people of Israel had heard the story of Sodom’s judgment and destruction. They had been warned– they had been sent to the Promised Land and told NOT to follow the wicked practices of the inhabitants they were to conquer. Yet they became worse than the people they were to destroy!
  • The reaction of the Levite, and the entire nation of Israel is not one of turning to God, but turning to vengeance and warfare
    • There is something about cutting up the dead body of his concubine and sending her bloody bits around the country that horrifies the reader of this story. Yes, her death was horrific and violent. But the aftermath is equally violent and impersonal. There is no mention in this story of grief or remorse or human compassion. There are only actions and reactions.
    • The men of Gibeah (and all of Benjamin) show no shame or repentance for this horrible incident. Instead, they are willing to slaughter their own countrymen (and die at their hand) in defiance and continued wickedness.
    • The “plan” after the war against the Benjaminites– allowing the men of the tribe of Benjamin to kidnap women in Shiloh– is evidence that no one has learned a lesson. The Israelites meet and ask God “Why has this happened?” But instead of asking God for an answer, they come up with their own plan.

The last verse in chapter 20 gives a sad and sobering summary–“In those days, Israel had no king, so the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.” (Judges 21:25)

What can we learn from this horrible incident? Most of us (I hope!) don’t go around gang-raping, torturing, and killing women; we don’t slaughter entire towns or tribal groups because of a single horrific incident; we don’t offer reparations to enemies that sanction kidnapping innocent victims. But do we turn our backs on God’s guidelines because we have a plan that seems “right in (our) own eyes”? Do we foster relationships that conflict with God’s word? Do we ignore the wickedness taking place in our own neighborhoods and right under our noses? Do we try to justify bad policies and practices because they are “no worse” than what others are doing?

What happened in Gibeah can happen anywhere. What happens in Gibeah doesn’t “stay” in Gibeah. It brings chaos, suffering, and judgment to an entire nation and impacts generations.

I pray that God’s people will open our eyes. Instead of pretending that we can do whatever “seems right” that we will focus on what is really “right,” and that we will confess and grieve for our sins, instead of defiantly redefining our values and morals.

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Prayers In the Half-Light

We’ve had electrical problems at our apartment for the past few days. We haven’t lost all our power, but the overhead lights are all connected to wall switches that aren’t working. The repairman is supposed to come today or tomorrow to address the issue. But it’s been a weird experience to say the least.

Our refrigerator, stove, air conditioning, water heater, and computer are all functioning as usual, but there is no light in the bathroom at all, and only window and skylight available in the rest of the rooms. We were able to find one floor lamp, which gives some light in the living room– just enough to read for a few minutes, but not enough to light up the other rooms, including the kitchen, where I need to cook and do dishes. Most of our life continues as normal, but at night, or during the recent rains, it gets very dark. We have flashlights and candles, but it is difficult to take a shower or cook in the dark!

I’m not complaining. We are marvelously blessed to have the appliances working as they do. But it changes one’s perspective. We take our lights for granted.

I like to think that I see the world around me clearly; that I know where I am going and understand my surroundings. I take for granted the illusion of control and clarity. Even in my prayers, I like to think that I know what to pray about, who to pray for, and how to approach God in prayer. But often, I am praying in the half-light. I don’t really see things clearly, I’m not in control of my own circumstances, and I’m only guessing at what I need (or what anyone else needs). I see God as part of my surroundings, or distant, rather than the One who holds all things in His hand while being ever-present with me.

But God delights to hear us even when– especially when– we can’t see the next step clearly. Faith that is never put to the test isn’t given a chance to be strengthened. Faith can shine through during moments of crisis. If we lost our power completely, it would be easier somehow to fall back on Faith, knowing that God sees and hears; that He will provide. But in the half-light, it is tempting to look for ways to rely on my own ingenuity to “manage” the crisis and not “bother” God with my temporary struggles.

And I find that I do this with emotional, relational, and even spiritual struggles, too. Of course, I turn to God in the dark, when I can’t see to do anything. But what about when I can “handle it” for a while. I have all that I need to survive, but I’m facing a new challenge, or a temporary disruption?

When I pray for my unsaved neighbors or family members, I can’t see what they really need. I can see that they are lost– perhaps miserable and struggling, but also perhaps believing that everything in their life is fine. But I can’t dictate to God how or when or what will be best for them. Often, they are living lifestyles that are taking them further away from God. Sometimes, they are entrenched in philosophies and experiences that cut them off from the truth. In my limited wisdom, I would pray for immediate results– that they would repent NOW. I don’t think that’s wrong to want, but it may not be God’s plan for them. It may be that God will redeem them from such thinking and situations only after they have experienced heartache and suffering– so that they will be in a position to help people who otherwise will never hear the Truth. God’s ways are not my ways– and His ways are ALWAYS best!

Jesus said, “‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” (John 8:12). The overhead lights I think I depend on in my apartment cannot give me the light of life. All they can do is shine light on the things in my apartment. Only God can shine His light in my heart, mind, and soul! And that’s where my focus needs to be in prayer– not on what I can see around me, but what God will light up as I walk with Him.

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Prayer Brings Peace

“When peace, like a river, attendeth my soul;
When sorrows, like sea-billows roll–
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
‘It is well–it is well– with my soul.'”

As I write this, all is not well with my life.  I have bills looming, a leaky roof, and I’m grieving a recent family loss.  I worry about my husband as he travels and faces danger on the job, about my aging relatives, and our kids and grandkids.  All is not well with our nation– we have anger, division, violence, and strife; a breakdown of families, moral decay, and corruption.  All is not well with our world–nations are at war, we are destroying our environment, and all the progress that was supposed to make our lives easier seems to have made life more complicated and frantic, instead.

But all is well with my soul–not because of anything I have done or anything I do– peace and assurance are mine solely through the grace of God, which he gives in abundance.

Prayer does not bring peace automatically, nor does its haphazard and occasional practice guarantee instant or lasting peace.  Meditation, solitude, and other prayer-like exercises may bring a temporary calm, a respite, and a relief.  Closing our eyes and laying our burdens at his feet can bring the same feeling.  But prayer is more than just an exercise in making us feel better.  It isn’t meant to take us away from our circumstances, or to hand them off to God while we waltz away from our burdens.  Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  Coming to God in prayer doesn’t make burdens disappear.  But it does mean that we no longer carry them alone, and that gives us rest for our souls.  God is not in the business of making our lives easy, carefree, and comfortable.  But he promises that as we share our lives with him, trusting that his ways are good and righteous, he will not only come alongside and share our burden, he will teach us and give us rest.

This is why the pursuit of prayer is so important.  The discipline of daily and personal prayer teaches us how and where to find peace that lasts– peace that “passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:6-7).  Like the cool, refreshing water of a river soothes and gives life, so God’s grace flows into our lives as we walk and talk with him every day.

I wrote last time about that peace, and how it comes from having our hearts and minds “stayed” or fixed on Jehovah. It was modeled for us by Christ, who spent hours in prayer– in private prayer and praying with, for, and in front of others. Jesus often went into the wilderness to spent time alone with God– praying, meditating, and listening to His Father’s voice. As Peter encouraged the early believers, we are to be “..casting all (our) anxieties on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 ESV)

We don’t pray because we are already at peace. We pray because that is where we FIND peace!

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Perfect Peace

3 You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
4 Trust in the Lord forever,
For in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength.
Isaiah 26:3-4 (NKJV)

We spent last weekend saying goodbye to my sister-in-law. NOT a final goodbye– more of a “see you later!” Wendy had suffered for years from both rheumatoid arthritis and stage four cancer. Many of her days were spent in agony, back and forth from hospital to home. In the middle of her battle, she had to say goodbye to her husband and navigate widowhood.

“Peace” would not seem to be a word connected in any way to Wendy’s struggles. Yet, the verses above from Isaiah kept speaking to me throughout last weekend. Not because Wendy ‘finally’ found peace and rest. But because she had a sustaining peace that “passes all understanding.” She lived with peace, trust, hope, and even joy, even while she suffered.

 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:6-9 (NKJV)

Perfect peace does not come from perfect circumstances. It does not come from willpower, or even positive thinking (notice that verse 7 precedes verse 8 in the passage above!) It comes from having your mind “stayed” on the great I AM. Not just thinking about Him in passing, or knowing a vast amount about Him, but keeping your focus and thoughts directed to Him. Peace is a by-product of a close and constant relationship with the one who is the “Prince of Peace” and the author of “shalom.”

We cannot generate perfect peace within ourselves because we are not perfect. We are not Holy, Righteous, or complete. But God is! And Paul’s advice to the Philippian believers above was written, not from peaceful surroundings, but from prison! His advice begins with prayer! Pray about everything! We can pray prayers of supplication (asking for healing, help, wisdom, direction, etc.) WITH thanksgiving– not because our circumstances are wonderful, or even because we expect God to work miracles to change our circumstances. We can thank and praise God from prison, from hospital beds or homeless shelters, refugee camps, storm shelters, blizzards, hurricane-battered houses, or sinking ships. Because God’s promises are faithful and true. They may not look like what we expect, imagine, or even hope for. They will involve pain and suffering because we still live in a broken world. God may bring us out of suffering, or help us avoid suffering, or He may settle in with us through the suffering. In every case, we can fix our eyes on the one who loves us perfectly, the one who has perfect power over every circumstance, perfect wisdom and vision to lead us through, and perfect plans for redemption, healing, hope, and eternal joy!

Wendy wasn’t perfect in this life. Suffering hurts. Pain ravages the body, and preys on the mind. Sleepless nights, loss of appetite, and nausea when one eats– such things cause us to cry out, to lament, and to ask “Why?!” Wendy did all that. But when we choose to focus less on the temporary trials of this life and look beyond to the greater story of redemption and ultimate glory, there is a peace that revives us, refreshes us, and strengthens us beyond what we can imagine. God is trustworthy– We can depend on Him when all around us is chaos and suffering. We can have hope and strength and blessed peace!

And that same peace is available to all of us who grieved for Wendy during her long illness. It sustains us with hope and strength that rises above the questions or doubts, beyond the tears and the memories of the past. We will have the joy of seeing Wendy (and many of our other family and loved ones) perfected. No more suffering; no more questions; no more separation. Perfect. Peace.

My challenge today is to stay focused on what really matters– on WHO is really in control. I pray that whatever you may be going through, that you will also find God’s perfect peace as you look to Him!

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Prayers for Healing

My family has prayed for years that my sister-in-law would be healed. She fought a pitched battle with cancer at the same time as she suffered from severe rheumatoid arthritis. Her bones and body were twisted, and she was in a lot of pain. Several days ago, she “lost” her battle and died at age 62. God didn’t give her the miraculous healing we hoped for. God let her suffer for years and then took her from us.

But is all that really true? Did she really “lose”? She lost the daily struggle of her earthly life. She lost the future years with her grown children, her siblings, her nieces and nephews, cousins and friends. And yes, God took her away from those of us who remain to mourn her passing from this life. But she is reunited with her husband and her father, and all those who died before. She is in the presence of the baby brother she never met. Most of all, she is standing, pain-free and glorified, before the very God who heard every prayer, felt every ache, and saw every tear drop.

Healing doesn’t always look like we imagine. Years ago, a close friend of ours got a diagnosis of non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. She underwent experimental treatment and it went horribly wrong. While it killed many of the “bad” cells, it also killed some of her healthy cells and muscle tissue along her neck and throat. She eventually lost the ability to talk, to hold up her head, and to swallow solid food. She seemed to waste away right before our eyes. We all prayed for her to be healed and to have good health restored, but her decline was slow, agonizing, and final. Another friend, a schoolmate, died of cancer a few years ago, after hundreds of people had prayed for her healing. She had great faith, and great hope that she would be cured. But she, too, died. In spite of all the prayers, in spite of her great hope. Three precious women of faith; three lives cut short by pain and senseless suffering.

Pain and suffering challenges (and sometimes destroys) faith. But faith can also be strengthened, refined, and purified by suffering– whether we are suffering physically or mentally, suffering injustice or persecution. God does not abandon us in our struggles, and our pain does not bring Him pleasure. We may question why we suffer; we may even question why God allows suffering to continue. But God never leaves us. Even when we don’t feel relief; even when we don’t hear His voice.

Wendy, Jean, and Lena are great examples of women whose faith allowed them, even in the worst suffering, to feel joy and hope. They may have had moments of doubt, fear, or even anger. But each new day brought forth praise– praise for God’s love, for His beautiful creation, for His faithfulness in the past, AS WELL AS in the midst of their suffering. They saw God clearly– perhaps even more clearly– for their struggles. And they inspired others to hope and to rejoice! They endured much. They “fought the good fight and kept the faith” as Paul said in one of his last letters to Timothy (2 Timothy 4:7-8).

I hope that I write words that are true, encouraging, and strong. I’ve read beautiful tributes to God’s faithfulness from many other people as well. But words spoken by those who suffer speak more clearly and powerfully than words written in ease or quiet contemplation. Sometimes, they scream. But they make a deep and lasting impact on those who hear. And then those words testify to God’s glory and love…they echo for generations to come.

God absolutely answered every prayer we prayed over Wendy and over others who have suffered. His healing is not always what we want or expect. But it is eternal, powerful, and glorious. I fully expect to see Wendy (and so many other) completely healed and glorious someday. And all the grief, all the unanswered questions, all the “what ifs…” that I wrestle with now will be wiped away in an instant.

We are blessed to pray for those who need healing. And, in some cases, God answers with miracles we can’t explain. Sometimes, He answers with pain and grief we can’t explain. But we continue to pray. Because healing, whether in this life or the next, is something only God can do perfectly. He heals broken bodies, grieving hearts, and troubled minds. He heals the past, redeems the present, and promises a glorious eternity with Him!

Praise Be to Jehovah Rophe– The God who heals!

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Praying Through the Eclipse

Last week we experienced a partial eclipse of the sun– a solar eclipse. This happens periodically, when the moon’s orbit causes it to pass between the earth and the sun, casting a shadow that temporarily blocks light from reaching the earth. The opposite can also happen, when the earth passes between the sun and moon at night, casting a shadow on the moon and keeping it from reflecting light at night– a lunar eclipse.

I was thinking about eclipses and how our spiritual lives can be impacted in ways that behave like an eclipse. We are to be a reflection of the light of Christ– in His own words, “The light of the world.” (see Matthew 5:14-16) So we are to act like the moon, reflecting the powerful light of the “Son” in a dark world. But we don’t always do that. Sometimes, as in a lunar eclipse, we allow the “world” to block out the light of the “Son”. The darkness and evil in the world can rob us of the light of hope and faith, causing us to live in shadow, and the darkness to triumph– temporarily. Other times, we actually get in the way of the “Son’s” light– grandstanding and promoting our own self-righteousness. Whether deliberate or just thoughtless, our actions can “eclipse” the Gospel of Jesus Christ and block out the truth of His Light.

God’s light is Holy, Powerful, and Eternal. We cannot offer a greater, wiser, or brighter light than Jesus. Our best efforts are darkness compared to His Holiness. Our job is to reflect HIS light to a darkened world as it awaits His return!

Wherever you were last week; whatever your experience of the eclipse, I hope you are able to rejoice in God’s light today! What a wonderful, powerful reminder that God’s Glory is brighter than 1,000 suns, and it will never be dimmed! What a privilege to reflect HIS love, mercy, grace, and wisdom to those around us!

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