“Little” Prayers

I was challenged the other day by someone who suggested that my prayers are “too little.” Well, not precisely “my” prayers– I head up a small prayer group at church, and we pray for people in our congregation and our community. We keep a running list of people who are suffering from various health issues or housing issues, relationship issues, etc. We also pray for our church staff, for missionaries that our church supports, for upcoming ministry opportunities and programs, and other seemingly “small” requests. These are posted on a list and shared with some of our church members who are shut in or who want to lift up their neighbors in very specific ways.

I don’t think this person meant to be insulting but I see our prayer group quite differently. These “little” prayers are heartfelt, and I believe they reflect the heart of our Savior. Yes, Jesus offered salvation through His death and resurrection to “whosoever believeth” (John 3:16) throughout all the ages, but in His ministry, Jesus was extremely personal and intimate. Among His disciples, Jesus taught them to ask for “our daily bread” and for simple forgiveness as “we forgive” those who have hurt us. (Matthew 6:9-13) And I think our prayer group reflects that aspect of prayer. So, even though our list may seem “small” as we pray for Ned’s pneumonia, or Clarice’s upcoming CAT scan, next week’s teen outing, or Chris’s continuing housing issue, it is also showing compassion and worth to each individual, sharing in their “burdens” (Galatians 6:2) because God loves each of us without condition or limit!

On the other hand, I think I know what this individual was trying to convey. We are also called to pray “big” prayers. Jesus encouraged His disciples to have “big” faith– the kind that moves mountains (see Matthew 17:20– although Jesus says that even faith as small as a mustard seed can result in this kind of answer!) “Little” prayers can be the result of “little” faith. We pray for God to intervene in ordinary things without asking Him to unleash His power and majesty. God is able to do infinitely more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:19-20) through the power of Christ in us! So are we tapping into that promise, or limiting our prayers to what we think God might do on a small scale?

I don’t think our prayer group is doing this at all. We often pray for peace in the Middle East and in other war-torn regions. We pray that the spirits of Anger, Lust, Deception, and Rebellion will be bound and that the eyes of the lost will be opened; that hearts will be softened toward the Gospel, and that our brothers and sisters facing persecution will be, strengthened, emboldened, and protected/rescued. We pray for Revival and renewal across nations and continents. And we pray that in these “little” situations, God’s love, wisdom, and power will be shown clearly– even to those who deny His existence.

Prayer is a huge topic, and a lifelong pursuit. I was challenged by this comment the other day to look closely at how our group functions; at how I present prayer each week; at how we perceive the calling and responsibility of prayer. In the Proverbs, we are told that “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17) Comments like the one that challenged me the other day are golden opportunities to learn, review, and grow in our daily pursuit. The Church is strengthened when we allow for each member to speak– especially if it stretches our view of things we take for granted!

I don’t believe there are any prayers that are “too little” to bring to God– He delights in our smallest steps of Faith; in our complete and simple dependence on Him. But I also don’t believe that our prayers can or should be limited by the mundane and ordinary. We should come boldly to the throne of Grace– not because of who we are or what we’ve done, but because of the Awesomeness and perfect Sufficiency of the God we serve!

October 13, 2025 0

If Only I Had Known…

I would have taken the scenic route
Stopped to smell the new-mown grass,
Or the languid marshy odors
Drifting through the open window of my car.

I might have stopped off to see my old friend
Whose house I have passed a hundred times
On my way from somewhere to somewhere else–
Stayed awhile, relived memories or made new ones.

I would have let the others speak
Drinking in their words, tasting them, weighing their wisdom
And nodding, or not, let them take the spotlight a little longer
While I held my own cleverness in check.

I would have prayed with more reflection, and
Less impatience. I would have used fewer words,
And chosen them with more care. I would have shown
More gratitude and less “attitude.”
I would have cried more and sighed less.

I would have risked speaking up in those awkward moments:
“I didn’t mean that.” “I’m glad to know you.”
“I’m so sorry.” “I love you.” “Please know that I love you.”
“You have an amazing smile.” “You are important.”
“God loves you with an everlasting, unshakable love!”

I would have watched more sunsets and fewer TV shows.
I would have written more stories and read fewer magazines.
I would have danced like no one was watching.
I would have sung like no one was listening.
I would have invited others to join me.

If I had known that I have five more years;
Or five more months, or five more decades…
Would I live differently? Pray differently?
Love differently? I hope so.

August 20, 2025 0

Three Things I Pray…

In the Broadway musical, Godspell, there is a simple ballad, “Day By Day,” in which the singer(s) express a desire to be closer to Jesus. Day By Day/YouTube There are three “prayers”– 1) to see thee more clearly; 2) Love thee more dearly, and 3) follow thee more nearly. I have heard various opinions and critiques of the musical, from the use of clown makeup and vaudeville tunes, to the marginal grammar of this song. But I’d like to spend some time digging in to the three simple prayers.

Today, I want to look at (literally) the first prayer– “to see thee more clearly”. There is one prayer, but I think it can be broken down into two parts.

First, I want to SEE God. God is Spirit–an invisible essence– and yet he manifests himself in a million different ways all around us. God is in the inky, endless blackness of a moonless night, and in the vibrant colors of spring blossoms; in the glaring reflection of the sun off the lake, or the gray and palpable mist over the meadow. He is in the wrinkled face of my neighbor, and the exuberant smile of a toddler, and the beauty of a horse running or an eagle soaring. But I can see all of this and more and still not see God. I can focus on the creation and miss the creator. I can focus on the beauty and learn nothing of the artist. I can see the amazing variety of people in the world– skin tones and eye shapes, facial expressions, and body language, dimples and hairstyles and nose-wrinkling, and hand-wringing, and miss the Love of God for each one.

Sadly, I can sing this prayer, pray for insight, and still miss seeing God. I can trample His creation, dismiss His presence, and hate the people He loves enough to die for; people who bear the stamp of His image.

And I want to see Him “more clearly”–I want to see him as he really is, and not as I imagine him to be. We live in an age of glossy retouched photos of models and celebrities; we “see” their image, without knowing what they truly look like, and without knowing anything about who they really are inside. In many ways, God is only slightly less invisible than the real people around us. How many people do we ignore in a day’s time? How many do we glance at, only to get stuck on a single detail (a hair on their sweater, or something caught in their teeth, or a receding hairline or blotchy face). How many people surprise us by not being like the image they project? I don’t want to see a Photoshop Jesus; a glossy, smiling image of someone who says only what I want to hear, and looks like nothing ever touches him. I want to see the Jesus who wept over the death of his friend; the Jesus who laughed with delight as he talked with children; the Jesus whose eyes were full of compassion even as he was dying on the cross. I want to see the Living Word of God.

Jesus is close– closer than we think. I want to spend today seeing him more clearly.

June 2, 2025 0

Who’s on First?

Baseball season is off to a great start! I love baseball, and I love word-play, so it’s probably no surprise that I really love the Abbot and Costello routine, “Who’s on First?” (watch here)

The idea behind the famous routine is that Abbot is trying to explain the positions on the baseball team, but the players’ names lead to all sorts of needless confusion. You don’t really have to know a lot about baseball to be entertained by the comedy routine, but the more you do know, the funnier it gets. Baseball depends on coordinated team effort– knowing who is playing where can make the difference between spectacular plays and disasters– both offensively and defensively. But as much as I would love to talk about both baseball and comedy today, I really want to use baseball as a metaphor for prayer.

Prayer is very personal, especially confessional prayer, but often it is also communal and a coordinated team effort. Every player (pray-er) wants to play our best, and we are gifted for certain positions on the “team.” Some of us are great at pop-ups– catching people “in the moment” and praying with them, sharing their burdens and joys with concise sentence prayers. Some are sluggers– prayer warriors who “knock it out of the park.” Some are outfielders, patiently persistent in praying for the lost, and ready to chase down a line drive or jump up to make the save. Some are basemen– praying to keep the enemy from gaining ground, or catchers, defending home base from all attempts to score. Some are good at bunting–providing the necessary support and sacrifice so that someone else can advance. And some are master pitchers–crafting prayers that strike out or even shut-out the enemy. Our coach, our mascot, our general manager and MVP? The Almighty, Triune God! He knows our strengths, weaknesses, and how we can improve our performance and standing. He also wants to help our team become closer and stronger. After all, baseball is wonderful, but Christian living is even better– it has eternal consequences!

When we ask, in relation to prayer, “Who’s on First,” we need to remember a few things:

Always listen to the coach!
Remember you are not alone.
PRAY to win!
Look out for and support your teammates.
Each inning is a new beginning– don’t live in the last inning.
Don’t let the current score determine your play.
Don’t let the other team’s players or their fans take you “off your game.”
(Spoiler alert)– We are the champions!

Let’s get suited up and ready to take the field for today’s game…after all, you or I may be on first!

May 30, 2025 0

Puzzling Prayers

Note: This is a re-post from seven years ago, but I thought it was worth revisiting…

Have you ever had one of those days where things just don’t seem to make sense? It doesn’t have to be a “bad” day, necessarily–just a day when things don’t seem to “fit.” I had one of those days yesterday.

I journal my prayer life– I have notebooks with names and places for each day of the year. Yesterday, my notebook included the city where my daughter lives and the names of three people celebrating birthdays, among other needs. One of the names was a complete mystery to me. I couldn’t remember who this person was, or how I knew either her or her name…I was drawing a blank and didn’t know how I should pray for her. Was she a former classmate? Was she a daughter or mother or sister of someone I knew better? I ended up praying a very general prayer– for her health, her family, etc., but it bothered me.

Hours later, speaking with someone on the phone, another name came up, along with a prayer request– a man suffering with an illness who happened to have the same surname. Coincidence? Possibly, but the name stood out, and I prayed again– for both. Now I was really curious. I did some digging. The first person WAS the sister of someone I knew, and their father is the one suffering from an illness.

God is amazing, and one way is how he gives us the opportunity for “a-ha!” moments like the one I had yesterday. I have spoken to several Christians who are sometimes separated by several time zones from those they normally call on for help or advice. In crisis moments, they have cried out to God. Thousands of miles away, someone will be awakened from a sound sleep with a sudden urge to pray for their distant friend, or another will be stopped in their tracks and send up a random prayer as their mind wanders. Often, this will be in the exact moment of the crisis, and God will intervene with a miraculous healing or rescue or provision. Days later, the two parties will connect and be astonished at the timing.

What used to puzzle me about such prayers was this– if God already knows the need, and plans to act, why involve the second (or third) party? Because stories like this, while impressive and inspiring for those who believe, rarely cause a skeptic to come to faith, and aren’t necessary for those who already believe.

I think God has many answers, and I know I don’t have all of them, but here are three things I believe God is doing through such puzzling circumstances and outcomes:

While it doesn’t turn a skeptic into a believer, it DOES give the skeptic something to explain away– one such instance might be ignored as coincidence, but five? two hundred? And we have a Biblical precedent in the book of Acts, chapter 12, when Peter is rescued from prison and shows up at the very house where believers are praying for his release! Even they didn’t believe at first, and left Peter out in the cold!
It IS an inspiration and an encouragement as a follower of Christ to know that he not only hears our prayers, but he recruits others to think about us, bear our burdens, and share in our trials.
Last (on my short list; I’m sure God has many other wonderful answers I haven’t imagined yet), I believe that God’s purpose for us involves communion– eternally living, sharing, and loving together with Him and with each other. It is one of the highest honors and greatest privileges to be involved in God’s work through prayer…it is something we all can do, anywhere, anytime, but it requires being humble and willing to stop what we’re doing, commit our moments and our hearts in prayer for others (sometimes without knowing why!), and trust God to do all that we cannot.

Prayer sometimes seems puzzling, but that’s because we don’t see all the answers– yet. Someday, what a marvelous and miraculous picture will unfold– and we have the opportunity to fill in the gap; to be the answer to 34-down; to be the missing piece of the pine tree in the upper right corner– to answer the call and finish the puzzle!

May 23, 2025 0

Ask, Seek, Knock

God knows our innermost thoughts, wishes, and needs. So why do we pray? We’re not telling God something he doesn’t already know. He asks us to seek him, though he is omnipresent. He tells us to knock, and the door will be opened, yet he also says he stands and the door and knocks. Is this another Bible mystery? An oxymoronic enigma?

I don’t think so– I think it is a case of God laying out some ground rules of relationships– his with us, us with him, and even us with each other. God is spirit, but he ask us to build dwelling places where he can meet with us– temples, tabernacles, churches. He wants to abide, to live in relationship and companionship. Ultimately, he offers to dwell in each of us. But he has created each of us as a unique being. And just like a unique building, we have walls and windows and doors. When we reach our eternal dwelling place, this will still be so. We will be changed, purified, sanctified, and glorified, but our souls will not be subsumed or merged into a single temple or a single “soul.” Heaven is not like Nirvana. God is eternally God and we are eternally his creation. Living in communion is not the same as merging or evolving into something not ourselves. We remain uniquely individual, and as such, we need to learn to take initiative to open our doors and windows– to interact, to serve, and to honor each other.

Have you ever been blindsided by someone who expected you to read their mind? You know they are hurt and angry, but you find out later (sometimes much later!) that they wanted you to comment on their new hairstyle, or they expected you to ask them out for coffee. Maybe you know the pain of being on the other end– wishing someone would notice your weight loss or ask about your day. God wants us to learn to reach out, to ask, seek, and knock, instead of isolating ourselves behind locked doors. We are to be active, not passive, about noticing others, sharing with and including others, and serving others. But we are to do it in love and humility– with grace and mercy and love, not with bullhorns, fists, or combat boots.

God is the Almighty one– yet he stands at the door and knocks. He could barge through our stubbornness and rebellion, and drag us kicking and screaming to the altar. He could tear down the walls of isolation and storm crush our pretentious justifications and excuses. But he stands, waiting for us to open the door, and seek his face. The one who spoke the universe into being waits for us to begin the conversation!

May 9, 2025 0

Leaning…

(Note: this is an edited and updated post from a couple of years ago.)

“What a fellowship; what a joy divine,
Leaning on the Everlasting Arms…”

Years ago, growing up in a small community, and attending a tiny rural church in southwestern Michigan, we sang this song often at church. As a child, I liked the tune, but had little idea what the song meant. In fact, when I was very small, before I could read, I misunderstood the lyrics– I thought the congregation was singing “wienies” on the everlasting arms. I made my grandmother laugh when she heard my interpretation! She helpfully corrected me. So I knew the basics. I knew the word fellowship– that was what we called the pot-luck meals and social times we had in the church basement. I knew that Joy was like happiness, only better. I knew that “divine” referred to God and Heaven, and Holy things. But I also knew that leaning was frowned upon– I was told to stand up straight, sit up straight, and never lean back on the two hind legs of the chair in class. How could there by fellowship, and divine joy in leaning? And what were the Everlasting Arms? It sounded like the name of a hotel. It was a long time before I began to understand the joy of leaning, or even falling into the “everlasting” arms of the Savior.

As I have lived, I have grown to understand and cherish these words. There IS a fellowship and a joy divine in learning to lean on the Everlasting Arms of Jesus; to experience the strength and peace that passes my own understanding when I trust fully in Him, instead of in my own plans, whims, dreams, or wishes. There is no shame in leaning on God– in fact, if we don’t learn to lean on the solid wisdom and faithfulness of God, we will slouch into bad habits, “fall” into false teaching, or simply collapse in our own limitations and weaknesses, much like a chair leaning on just two legs! And this fellowship is not only with my Creator, Sustainer, and Savior; it is with all the brothers and sisters around the world who have learned to trust Him, too. I can travel to foreign countries, with different languages and customs, and still feel the kinship and “belonging” with other Christians. It is deeper and more mysterious than just the recognition that we are fellow human beings. It goes even deeper than the love for others who are loved by God. It is the recognition that God’s Holy Spirit surrounds us, flows in and through us, strengthens us, and unites us IN HIM. We are fellow travelers; fellow workers; fellow members of a universal family– one that is more inclusive than nationality, race, ethnicity, language, ideology, or denomination. We can (and do) lean on the ONE who is eternally trustworthy, eternally faithful to walk beside us, empower us, comfort and heal us, and lead us home. And we can lean on each other, knowing that our mutual strength comes from Him.

I love worship services, and I’m thankful that we have an active church where people worship; where the Bible is taught and revered; where families and individuals are welcomed and loved. But I sometimes miss the old “prayer meetings” in the church where I grew up. Every Wednesday night, while the children were (supposedly quietly) playing games, singing songs, and listening to the great stories of the Bible, a faithful (and sometimes rag-tag) group of adults were upstairs in a huddle. Some pulled up chairs and sat in a circle; others knelt the whole time. They prayed for nearly an hour–prayers of thanksgiving and prayers of urgent needs; prayers expressing worship, and prayers expressing inadequacies and failures; prayers for the children downstairs, for other members of the church family; prayers for the community, the country, and the world. As I became a teenager and a young adult, I was privileged to join in. I watched wise, older men and women express their confidence in God’s provision, and pour out their hearts for their children and grandchildren. I listened to young adults asking for wisdom and guidance as they raised families and witnessed to co-workers. I felt the joy and grief and true “fellowship” that came when several hearts turned as one to God.

I have since attended many “prayer meetings”– some planned, some spur-of-the-moment; some held in churches; others held in homes or dorm rooms, even on street corners or grocery stores; some lasting only a few minutes; others lasting hours. I am blessed to be able to attend a weekly “prayer meeting” on Wednesday mornings at my local church. There is something mystical about communal prayer– listening and sharing in prayer with others. The prayers of God’s people are compared to incense– and communal prayer is like a delicately-balanced blend of fragrances, infusing the very room with blessing, and even a touch of Glory. (For more about how prayer is likened to incense, see https://the-end-time.org/2017/06/13/how-is-incense-like-prayer/) It is yet another miracle of the power of prayer, that we can combine hearts and voices to honor God; to lift up very human concerns to the One powerful enough to hold each one in the palm of His hand. It should not replace personal prayer and Bible Study, or communal worship services, but it is a wonderful practice for any Christian to “come alongside” in prayer with fellow believers. It is also humbling to think about how such a seemingly small act can have far-reaching consequences.

God “inhabits” the praises of His people (Psalm 22:3). When we show up and participate in communal worship and prayer, we get a greater sense of God’s presence, His power, His Glory, His Love, and His eternal purpose. What a Fellowship! What a Joy, Divine!

November 4, 2024 0

“Fruit-ful” Prayers

Our church has been presenting a series of sermons on being a BLESSing to our neighbors. BLESS is an acronym for Begin with Prayer; Listen with Care; Eat Together; Serve like Jesus; and Share Stories. We were challenged the first week to choose four close neighbors. We were to pray for them, and if we didn’t know them well, to reach out and make contact. This has been a true challenge for David and I, because we live in an apartment above our shop. Most of our neighbors are not residential, but commercial! Nevertheless, we decided on a couple of commercial “neighbors” and a couple of non-traditional “neighbors.” We started praying– praying for opportunities to get to know our neighbors a little better, and praying for their health, well-being, etc. We’re getting to know some of the workers at the two commercial locations, and getting to know our chosen “families” a little better. We’ve been more intentional about stopping to visit or chat, and making sure we listen and respond sincerely– this is not just a short-term “project” but an opportunity to build closer relationships. And we’ve been praying for opportunities to develop closer friendships.

So this week was the sermon I’ve been dreading– “Eat together.” You might wonder why this is so fearsome–doesn’t everyone like to eat? And I love meeting over a nice meal. I love to cook, as well. The problem? Our apartment is tiny and upstairs– NOT conducive to inviting people over for a warm, comfortable meal shared around a large table. We have two mismatched chairs around a small table in our tiny kitchen, and two more mismatched armchairs in the living room. No couches, no designated dining room, no space to “entertain” guests. I want to serve others. I want to grow friendships. But I’m not a hostess. Not in a cracker-box-sized apartment upstairs. I know this seems petty– I’ve known amazing hostesses who live in shacks and invite guests to sit on a dirt floor. I know. But I still struggle with the idea of entertaining others in my current circumstances.

I knew it was coming– we looked at all the examples in the Bible of good and even sacred things happening around the table and/or involving food– Passover Seders, Communion, the Wedding Feast of the Lamb (among others)… “But Lord,” I prayed, “I can’t invite the entire staff next door to my home for a meal. And some of the “residential” neighbors we are praying for are elderly and can’t manage the stairs to our apartment even if we had the room to host a meal. And it’s too expensive to invite some of the families or staff to a restaurant. How are we going to be able to bless others and “Eat” together?”

But God isn’t bound by conventional ideas– even when it comes to hospitality. At the end of the service, we were surprised by an announcement from our pastor– one of the families in our church owns a fruit farm. Last year, they had a bumper crop of apples, and they donated several bags of the apples to the church. There were enough apples for each family to take several bags to “BLESS” our neighbors! No meal to fix. No apologizing for the smallness and shabbiness of our living space. But a chance to share FOOD with my neighbors and bless them with wonderful apples! Thank you, God!

David and I wasted no time– we delivered most of the apples yesterday afternoon! And we had so many apples, we were able to bless more than just the four locations we had decided on earlier in the series. We were able to bless at least 13 different families/ businesses with at least one full bag of apples! We blessed families with small children, a retired couple; a single person on a fixed income; an extended family of four generations; we blessed people who go to another church; we blessed people who don’t attend church at all. We blessed the staffs at a couple of local businesses, and shared laughter (and concerns) with several friends, old and new.

Not everyone wanted the free apples. One family turned down our offer. Some people are suspicious of free gifts; some are too proud to accept food as a gift; some are simply not interested, or too busy. It is the same with the Good News. Some people do not want what we have to offer in Christ. Some are suspicious; some are too proud or even too ashamed to believe that God has Good News for them. Some are too caught up in their problems or their ambitions. We must not be discouraged, though. God has not given us such a precious gift without also giving us the opportunity share it with others. And we will see how God continues to work in mysterious ways. Some people were surprised and confused by the concept of “apples of blessing.” They wondered what we might ask for in return. We smiled and said there were no strings attached– we just wanted to share our blessing with them! Some people took more apples than we had planned to give them– that’s ok, too. Others wanted to bless us in return– we received over two dozen eggs in gratitude for a couple of bags of apples! Today, I’ll be delivering the last few bags to businesses that were closed yesterday (to share with their staff). I’m excited to share this gift–and I’m reminded of how good it is to share the free gift of the Gospel!

God didn’t change the circumstances of our apartment. I worried that I would be asked to host an elaborate meal, or that I would miss out on blessing others because of our circumstances. But in God’s economy, we can show hospitality, love, generosity, and compassion on the street. We can share food in a way that opens up opportunities to make memories, share stories, communicate prayer requests and concerns, serve others’ needs, and make new friends. There are dozens of ways we can open our hearts and our lives to our neighbors, serve them, and pray for them…

We kept one bag of apples– maybe someone in our neighborhood would like a pan of apple crisp! And now, David and I have a few extra eggs! Anyone interested?

June 3, 2024 0

Why Being “Nice” Matters

(I am re-posting an article from a few years ago. This first appeared in August of 2018.)

I spent the day with my granddaughter today. We went to the bakery, the bank, the grocery, and the library. Some days we visit the post office or a local cafe. We live downtown, so we walk everywhere, and say hello to people we meet along the way. At each stop, we thank the people behind the counter or desk. My granddaughter is learning manners– how to be polite in public. Her parents do a wonderful job of this, and it’s very easy for me to bask in the proud glow of people remarking on how cute and polite and engaging she is. (I may be a little biased, but they DO say such things…)

Years ago, when I worked at a library, there were always families who came in and practiced good manners– “Please” and “Thank You,” “Excuse me,” “I’m sorry,” and “May I?” Often, the children were prompted, especially when they were young. Sometimes, they didn’t understand why they were being told to say such things. A couple of times, I had other parents roll their eyes and comment negatively on such practices. “They don’t even understand what they’re saying.” “I’ll bet they don’t say any of those things at home– what hypocrites. They’re just trying to make people think they’re better than everybody else.” “You shouldn’t force kids to say such things. They’ll just resent you for it later.”

There are actually parenting articles about forcing children to say “I’m sorry.” They are well-intentioned, and some are helpful about explaining what the issues are (here’s a link to one of the articles) . Other articles advise parents not to prompt children to say, “Thank You.” (Here’s another link.) I don’t disagree with these authors. In fact, I think they make a valid point about teaching our kids “shallow” manners and neglecting the deeper values of gratitude and empathy. But I think children need both.

Manners (especially as they reflect deeper values) are important. We live in a society where manners are becoming relics–laughable reminders of a quaint culture we have long outgrown. There are pockets of the country (and the larger world) where politeness is almost an obsession. It is not polite or helpful to be facetiously “nice” or sarcastically “nice”. But what happens when we no longer dare to show gratitude or empathy without inviting ridicule and contempt? What happens when saying “Please” and “Thank you” make you a target for mockery? When and how did this happen to our culture?

With all due respect to the recent spate of articles, I think something gets lost in the hyperbolic headlines and fascination with “feelings”–manners should originate, not with feelings, but with the acknowledgement of some basic truths:

I am not the center of the universe!
Other people– all other people–have value, worth, and dignity.
I need other people, and they need me–I am not an island.
There is a God who is kind, forgiving, loving, and wise.

I am polite to others, not because I feel “nice”, but because I recognize that God created all people; He loves us all equally, and I have a duty to treat others with dignity, respect, and kindness– even if I don’t “feel” it; even if they don’t respond in kind. Do I always remember and acknowledge this, even as an adult? Sadly, no. But I practice politeness as a discipline and a reminder that this should be so. I teach it for the same reason. And the amazing thing is that it makes a huge difference. Maybe not in the moment, with all my emotions running wild…but in the quiet aftermath of knowing that I said “Thank you” instead of the hurtful and sarcastic comment. I said “I’m sorry” instead of holding on to my pride and bitterness. And I may never know the difference it made to the harried waitress, or lonely shopper, or tired mechanic to hear two or three kind words– “Thank You” (You are noticed– you matter). “I’m so sorry” (you have dignity–you are worthy of kindness) “Please” (you have value–your time, skill, or service is special)

I’m not a “nice” person– I am often hateful and stubborn and impatient. But God has been abundantly gracious and merciful to me when I don’t deserve it. Being polite is such a small thing in light of God’s eternal and boundless love toward us.

April 15, 2024 0

Close to the Broken Hearted

As I write this, I am keenly aware that one year ago, I was at a graveside, saying farewell to my mother. Grieving comes in waves. I rejoice that she is in heaven, and I rejoice that she had a good, long life, and that she didn’t suffer very long at the end. But there is still an ache– wanting to share a memory or a laugh and knowing she isn’t here; questions I didn’t know I had, but now she can’t answer them; just missing her voice and her smile. My father has been gone for 25 years, and the same ache still hits at odd moments.

Sometimes, grieving brings us closer to God. At other times, we can let our grief drive us away from God. But God doesn’t move. He is ever-present. And He reminds us that He is “close to the broken hearted” (Psalm 34:18). When we are grieving, that is a blessed reminder. Grief tends to isolate us. “No one understands…” “Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you; cry, and you cry alone.” We see the “rest of the world” enjoying life, seemingly untouched by sorrow, and we feel abandoned twice over.

As Christians, we are called to follow Jesus’ example, and be close to the broken hearted. We should be the ones ready with a hug, a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on. We should be the ones who, like the friends of Job (before they offered ill-advised ‘counsel’) are willing to sit with our suffering friends for days at a time, offering the comfort of solidarity and ‘presence.’

My family was blessed with a host of Christian friends and family who comforted us in the days and weeks after Mom’s passing. They still ask. They still share memories. They still pray for us. And in return, we do the same. God does not want any of us to suffer alone.

And this is also true for those who suffer a broken heart for other reasons– divorce, the loss of a home to fire or flood, the loss of a job, a wayward son or daughter– it is important for us to draw strength from others, and offer strength in our turn. But the source of our strength is Jesus, who suffered on our behalf, and rose victorious over death and separation. When “no one” understands, He DOES. When the world leaves us grieving alone, He is THERE. And when we see someone else grieving and suffering, and we don’t know what to do– He gives us the strength and the compassion to reach beyond our own resources and offer comfort.

On our own, we can be like Job’s friends– after awhile, we try to offer solutions, explanations, even judgment about another’s grief. “It’s time to move on.” “Just get over it.” “Well, if only you had…” None of these are helpful. Jesus never said any of those things to the people He came to comfort. Instead, He encouraged them to look to Him as the “resurrection and the life.” (see John 11:25).

Today, let us do the same. There are hurting people all around us. Let’s be an encouragement to others to embrace life– even when we are broken hearted.

March 4, 2024 0

Tag: community