Of Broken Femurs, Hearts, and Toilets

The past two weeks have been just a bit chaotic for our families. My mother fell and broke her femur, near her hip–not the hip she broke over a year ago, but the other one! Less than twenty-four hours later, my mother-in-law fell–and broke her femur. Each mom ended up in a different hospital for surgery, and in a different rehabilitation facility, located nearly fifty miles apart. Last week, two members of our extended family died on the same day in the same city; their funerals were a day apart in two different parts of the city, but handled by the same funeral home. On the day of the first funeral, we found out that another member of the family died. That same night, our toilet broke. Water poured into our upstairs bathroom, soaking the floor, running into the next room, and dripping down to the floor below. In the middle of all this, I slipped on the ice, fell hard, and bruised my ribs.

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Where was God in all this? He was right there in every situation. God doesn’t disappear when the going gets tough– He is steady, sure, and faithful.

  • Neither of our moms suffered a concussion or any other major damage from their falls. They were able to get treatment and surgery, and they are receiving care and therapy. And, while this is something we might have taken for granted at one time, it is something for which we praise God, because it could have been much more tragic in both cases.
  • We live close enough to both moms that we have been able to help and visit (where we can because of continuing COVID restrictions). Though the facilities are fifty miles from each other, neither is fifty miles from our home. Also, both moms are able to receive phone calls, and we are able to receive updates from the staff at each place.
  • We have close families, and wonderful neighbors and friends– we are not alone in caring for our moms or grieving our loved ones, and there is a network of prayer, support and concern that staggers my imagination! I cannot imagine trying to navigate this without help– again, this is something we might take for granted, but God has been in the details long before any of this happened. Our families, friends, and neighbors represent dozens of church bodies from around the country and the world, as well as a significant group close to home– how marvelous that God allows us to work together as a body in every situation.
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  • Though we have lost three family members in rapid succession, all three were believers! All three left a legacy of faith, love, and hope. We mourn their loss, but we also celebrate their lives with joy and not regret.
  • David HATES plumbing, but he knew what to do to fix the toilet. The damage from the flooding was minimal, all of our towels are freshly laundered, and the toilet works again!
  • My fall could have resulted in ANOTHER broken femur– or a broken arm, concussion, etc.. While it hurts to sneeze or yawn or blow my nose, at least it doesn’t hurt to breathe, and I can move and go about my day, cautiously, but normally.

God allows difficult things to come into our lives– and I don’t have any definitive answer for WHY we have been experiencing so many trials all at once. But I can say this:

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  • Trials make us stop and look and question– and that can be a good thing. God is big enough, wise enough, and sovereign “enough” to handle our tears, our fears, our weakness, and our momentary doubts. In fact, it is in recognizing our limitations that we can focus more on God’s limitless grace and boundless love!
  • Trials bring us closer to each other. Our chaotic couple of weeks are just a drop in the bucket among all the other problems of the world, but so many wonderful people have called or sent messages of hope and encouragement over the past two weeks, my heart is bursting– not with the pain, but with joy and gratitude.
  • Trials teach us patience (see my post on “Be Careful What You Pray For.”) The toilet breaking was my low point this past week– even though it did not directly touch on our health or a loved one. But God sent friends and angels to remind me that this was a very minor problem– even among all the others– and that God was “flushing” away some unnecessary angst if I would just let it go!

There is nothing that takes God by surprise– nothing that causes Him to pause and wonder, “what happens next.” I can praise God in the hospital as I watch my mom cry in pain. I can praise God when my husband finds his mother “alive” (when he couldn’t be sure). I can praise God when I’m flat on my face on the ice, winded and sore. I can praise God when toilet water is soaking my socks. I can praise God when I hug cousins who have lost their parents to cancer or dementia, or age, knowing that God is with us every moment, in every tear, every hug, every shared memory, and every hope that our loved ones now experience what we will also know someday.

I’m ready for 2022 to calm down a little bit. But if it doesn’t, I’m also ready to be broken again– whether through broken legs, broken toilets, or broken hearts. God is in the business of repairing and restoring broken things and broken people. And no one does it better!

Pass It On

The county fair is on this week– seven days of community-wide activities, including, but not limited to:

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  • Carnival rides
  • Games
  • Concerts
  • Exhibits of home arts, fine arts, craft items, and locally grown produce
  • Carnival food booths– pulled pork, corn dogs, elephant ears, ice cream, sno-cones, cotton candy, caramel corn, sausages on sticks, fried cheese curds, fried veggies (with ranch dip), cinnamon buns, fruit slushes and “shake-ups”, pizza, steak wraps, fried rice, tamales and burritos, craft root beer, funnel cakes, popcorn, caramel apples, and so much more to choose from!

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  • Farm animals on display everywhere– pigs, chickens, cows, horses, ducks, geese, turkeys, goats, sheep, rabbits, pigeons, cats, a burro, an emu, and probably more that I missed–perhaps a mule or an alpaca!
  • Youth competitions for animal showmanship, arts and crafts, etc.
  • A quilting competition
  • Commercial and community booths featuring local businesses, churches, political groups, schools, and services
  • Tractor pulls, horse pulls, Motocross, a Demolition Derby, and a Monster Truck show
  • Free live entertainment venues
  • Antique and new tractors on display
  • People– lots of people…some of them who live in the area, and some who visit from neighboring counties and states.

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What does the County Fair have to do with prayer?  I suppose for some, there is no connection.  For me, there are two ways prayer goes hand in hand with the County Fair:

  • The local Fair is a long-standing tradition, tying the community together and celebrating its heritage and hope for the future.  All around the fairgrounds, there are banners and plaques honoring people who have given of their time and talent to this community– farmers, teachers, civic leaders, doctors, police officers, pastors, donors, veterinarians, business owners, parents, coaches, and helpers.  In each generation, people pass on their knowledge, enthusiasm, passion, and excellence to those who will use it, expand on it, modify it, and pass it along to others.  In the same way, prayer warriors of the past have inspired and led people to the knowledge and love of Christ– many of the names at the fair represent people who poured love into, and prayed for my generation.  They discipled, taught, cared for, and inspired me and so many others.   We don’t worship them as idols or honor them in place of God, but we honor the way God used their lives as examples for us to follow.  Even those who were not Christ-followers had talents and wisdom that they shared, and God used, to help others.  This is a tradition worth celebrating, remembering, and continuing.

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  • The County Fair is a great place to see people I know but don’t always get to talk to
    • Classmates from school I haven’t seen in ages.
    • “Children” (now grown with children of their own) I used to babysit.
    • Former students, from when I was a schoolteacher.
    • Former neighbors, friends of my family, and people I knew from the church I attended as a child.
    •  Family and extended family who still live in various parts of the county or surrounding counties.
    • People for whom I have been praying– because I have heard of their needs or seen an e-mail or FB post or talked to a concerned family member.
    • What an honor and a privilege to spend time (even a short minute or two) to catch up, encourage and be encouraged, or even share a smile or a memory!  I might meet up with someone who needs a hug, a simple assurance, or even an “on the spot” prayer.  I might also have the opportunity to reconnect, restore a relationship, or even meet a new friend.  In addition, I see exhibits with names of people I know– people I can be praying for with joy and gratitude for all that they mean or have meant in my life.

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I hope, for anyone reading this, that you can think of times or opportunities when you can connect, reconnect, or form connections with others in your community.  Think of ways others have challenged, inspired, or encouraged you.  Take a minute to lift them up in prayer, and, if you have the chance, to pass on (or back) some of what they have given you along the way.  Imagine what even the smallest connection can do to spread God’s love to others.

 

 

“This Should Not Be…”

James 3:9-10 New International Version (NIV)

9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.

I was caught off guard last night, when an acquaintance of ours stopped my husband and me to warn us about one of our new neighbors.  “You know (person x) has been to jail twice for (X crime).”  Our acquaintance then spewed out hateful curses and fears about all the evil that might/could happen now that this new person has come to the neighborhood, and how they don’t “deserve” to live here.  I hope the fears and curses are unfounded or exaggerated.  I didn’t know how to respond–the anger and fear were palpable, and even understandable.  No one wants to live in an area noted for crime.  But…

What caught me off guard about the encounter was not the possibility that we have a neighbor with a criminal history, or that uncovering a person’s criminal past would make someone fearful or angry.  What got to me was the level of spite and viciousness, and the expectation that our reaction would be immediate and profound.

What got to me even more was my actual reaction.  It wasn’t anger at the new neighbor, but suspicion toward my acquaintance.  Why the urgency in spreading this “news”– why the visceral hatred? (The crime in question wasn’t murder, and no details of the crime were related.)  Following close on the heels of this was the thought that this was very much like some of the posts I see on social media or in my e-mail–sensational reports of crimes, and Hate Speech, and scandals–vicious stories, often exaggerated or even untrue, about everyone from people I know or used to know from my hometown, all the way up to heads of state and “respected” celebrities falling from grace.

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And how do I react to those pieces of cyber gossip and internet sensations, and “fake” news reports?  Do I eagerly spread the word, sparing little thought of the worthiness of the information or the consequences to both the guilty and innocent people involved?  Do I ever wonder what would happen if I were the subject of such wildfire rumors or smear campaigns?

Romans 3:13-18 (NIV)

13 Their throats are open graves;
    their tongues practice deceit. 
The poison of vipers is on their lips.
14     Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.
15 Their feet are swift to shed blood;
16     ruin and misery mark their ways,
17 and the way of peace they do not know.
18  There is no fear of God before their eyes

Is that me?  Do I, with the same mouth that praises and prays to God, curse and spread poison about people made in His image?  People I don’t even know or never have met?  Do I delight in pointing out the worst in others?  Do I rush to shed blood (figuratively) and destroy the lives of other people from the safety and anonymity of my computer or phone?  Do I play judge, jury, and executioner because it makes me feel clever or self-righteous?

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This should not be.

Lord, search me and know my thoughts and words.  Give me the strength to tame my tongue and the fingers that itch to “share” poison and lies and misery.  Help me to know the way of peace, and to speak truth about your grace and your holiness, not what I imagine my own to be.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

I love living in Southwest Lower Michigan– especially in the spring.  We have blossoms everywhere– apple blossoms, cherry blossoms, dogwood, red buds, tulips and irises, hyacinth and daffodils.  The rich earthy smell of freshly plowed gardens and fields permeates the air, and rides on the breezes coming off Lake Michigan.  Birds, newly returned from their winter wanderings are busily building nests, chirping away, while the sun’s rays chase away the last of the winter chill each morning.  There is color and new life everywhere you turn.

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We have a lot of spring festivals in the area, most of them centered on the blooms and blossoms that fill the countryside.  Gardens, orchards and fields are not just for show around here– they are also important parts of our economy and eco-system.  Without a good spring full of blossoms, buds, and blooms, we may have a disastrous harvest in the fall, and run-off of the soil; bees will die off, wild and domestic animals will have less grass and fewer berries to eat.  A late spring can shorten the growing season and shrink the harvest; an early spring can bring buds out too soon, only to have them lost to a late season frost or to have them mature too early and be burned in a mid-summer drought.

And yet, I have seen crocuses burst through two inches of snow; buds that defy harsh weather and cruel winds.  I have seen daffodils blooming where there once was a house and a yard, but now there are only brambles and foundation stones.  I have seen trees twisted and split by long-ago storms– one side dead and rotting, but with buds and new branches on the other side.

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It is easy to bloom when you are in a lovely flower bed, with tilled earth, fertilizer, gentle rains, just the right amount of sun, and protection from the winds and pests and birds.  But it is more spectacular to bloom in the desert; to defy the odds and stand in stark contrast to brambles, a broken-up sidewalk, or a litter-filled back alley; to bloom in the snow and sleet or weather a flood or a tornado.

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Not always so with prayer.  Sometimes, it is easier to pray when we feel our own needs and shortcomings; when we are driven by our circumstances to call out for help.  When all is well, we may be grateful, but we may also begin to slack off.  We stop asking for wisdom and guidance, coasting in the beauty and ease of a good life, and forgetting that the beauty and the ease– indeed the life itself– is not our right, but a gift.  Amid so many other beautiful prayers, ours seem drab and ordinary, almost unworthy of God’s notice.

But God DOES notice– he has placed each of us where he wants us to bloom and grow– to pray, to fellowship, to walk with other believers and give off the fragrance of His grace as we live our lives in obedience to Him.  Have you been planted in an apartment complex?  Have you been planted as a suddenly single parent of three kids?  Have you been planted on a campus?  In a group of friends that all have Harleys?  Or one block from a rescue mission or homeless shelter?  A classroom full of high-energy first-graders?  A community that has had a lot of crime and blight?

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God has not placed you in circumstances to reward or punish you, but to grow you in the soil that can produce the best harvest.  Is your prayer list filled with needy people who live in turmoil and rebellion?  Bloom where you are planted– you may be the only person praying for your cantankerous neighbor– the only raindrop or fertile soil s/he will ever encounter.  Has God placed you in a family of people who taunt you for your faith?  Bloom where you are planted– pray for strength to stand firm in the beauty of meekness and compassion in the face of their taunts and disdain.  Are you in a greenhouse full of self-righteous orchids making you feel dowdy and wilted by comparison?  Bloom where you are planted– pray for God’s eyes to see the beauty in yourself, as well as those around you, and stop trying to be an orchid where God needs a lily.

Has God planted you in trying circumstances?  Bloom where you are planted– pray for God’s Peace as you face each day:

Matthew 6:25-34 English Standard Version (ESV)

Do Not Be Anxious

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[a] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. * 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.*

34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

*Emphasis added

The Power of a Praying Mother

Mother’s Day is coming, and I wanted to say a few words about the mothers in my life and their legacy of prayer.  My Mom is a prayer warrior.  I blog about prayer, and I pursue a better prayer life, but my Mom is a seasoned soldier,  and the daughter of another mighty woman of prayer.  Most of what I know about prayer, I learned through the examples of my Mom and Gram, but I have also been blessed by the godly examples of my mother-in-law, sister and sisters-in-law, aunts, cousins, and many more.

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From my Mother, I learned to pray from the depths of my heart.  I have seen and heard her pray through pain, grief, and despair– not just her own, but more often that of someone else.  I have caught her holding back sobs over relatives and neighbors who don’t know or aren’t following Christ.  I’ve seen her pause in silent prayer over the plight of a person who is facing a lost job, or chemotherapy, or a migraine.  She very seldom offers to pray  aloud,”in the moment”, but she prays fervently, nonetheless.

 

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From my Grandmother, I learned to be patient and consistent in prayer.  Gram was quiet and unassuming, but she had an unshakable faith.  She prayed for years over situations that looked hopeless; often for people who or situations which never changed.  I asked her once how she kept from getting angry and frustrated.  She looked me straight in the eye and said, “We can’t change somebody else, and we can’t make them do what’s right.  That’s not our job.  Our job is to love each other, pray for each another, and let God deal with the rest.”  She died never seeing answers to some of what she prayed for, but that didn’t stop others from taking up the banner, and it never stopped her from earnestly and joyfully “taking it to the Lord in Prayer.”  She never gave up, never lost hope, and never stopped showing compassion.

 

There have been many other prayer warriors in my life– women (and men) of great faith who sought the Lord, and whose lives and words have had an unimaginable impact.  My family, members of my church family, classmates and friends from school or college, neighbors through the years…some of them have held my hand and prayed with me face-to-face; others have prayed on their knees in private; some have prayed for special needs and circumstances; others have prayed at the Holy Spirit’s prompting, never knowing why, but bowing in obedience.

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Praying mothers are a treasure.  If you have one, or had one, don’t underestimate the value of her example.  And don’t just say, “Thank you”…Pay it forward.  Pray for family, neighbors and friends.  Pray early, pray often, pray without ceasing.  We all need more praying mothers, fathers, cousins, neighbors, co-workers, etc.  If you did not have a praying mother, you have a golden opportunity to become that good example to someone else.  You also have the opportunity to adopt a prayer partner– a surrogate praying mother–to pray with you and for you.

Can You Hear Me Now?

We experienced some storms last week, and while we didn’t have a lot of damage from the winds and rain, my husband and I lost our internet connection over the weekend.  No wireless internet meant no Facebook, no WordPress, no e-mail, and no cash register at our little shop downstairs.  We had to do every transaction by hand until we could rig up something so our smart phone could accept cards; no new chip cards, no Apple Pay or PayPal.  And while our phone could begin to accept limited credit payments, it could not provide any printed receipts, nor could it do double duty– we either had a phone or a point-of-sale device, but not both!

It was an inconvenience, but not a disaster.  I thought about thousands of people who are stuck in the aftermath of hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, and blizzards who have no electricity, no phone lines, no cell service, no roads, no water or sewer lines–cut off from common necessities and basic communication.  Suddenly, an emergency becomes even more tragic because of the isolation, and the inability to ask for help or to hear any message of hope.  (Of course, my husband would like me to put in a short plug here about the advantages of amateur radio– the radios can run on battery power and still connect over hundreds of miles!)

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Isolation is an earthly concept.  God is eternally Triune.  He created us for relationship; from the very beginning, he declared that it is not good for “man” to be alone (Genesis 2:18)  God instituted marriage, and families, and communities so that we would stay connected, and he himself came to walk and talk with mankind in the Garden of Eden before the Fall.  It is mankind who hid from God and broke off communication– one of the effects of Sin is the desire to run away, to separate, to isolate and cut off relationships and break off contact.

That is one reason that prayer is so basic; so essential.  It is a lifeline to the one who loves us best, who knows what we need, and has the power to hear us, to help us, to lift us up wherever we may be, whatever our circumstances.

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But sometimes, even when we want to talk to God, it seems impossible to speak or feel like he hears us.  Sometimes, we are the ones who can’t come up with words, or can’t settle our minds to seek his face.  Sometimes, we pour out our hearts and wait in silence for an answer.   Why should it be that just when we need it most, prayer seems the hardest?

I wish I had a pithy, perfect answer.  I don’t know.  I have a few incomplete thoughts, though:

  • what comes easily has less value to us.  Cheap and pointless conversation doesn’t make us work hard, but it also leaves us empty and unsatisfied.  Crying out to God is hard–it humbles us, it strips us bare and uncovers all our pretenses and subterfuge.  The true depth of our need is ripped out of us like a tumor, and it hurts, but it is a healing hurt.  Waiting in silence can cause us to become restless and to doubt, but it also can cause us to listen more attentively– we strain to hear the answer; we stop the white noise of busyness and half-hearted hand-wringing, and listen with our whole being.  And the smallest whisper– that still, small voice– has the power of the first rain after a long drought.  We are revitalized and our strength renewed as never before.

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  • sometimes, though not always, we find prayer difficult because we have not really prayed for a long time (if ever)– we have developed a habit of saying words to the empty air and thinking that the words themselves hold some power of hope or magic or self-fulfilling prophecy.  When life’s realities cannot be wished away with simple words, we search for distractions, for other types of words, for other “realities”, when we should be searching for our maker and the lover of our souls.
  • sometimes, it is a matter of unacknowledged or unconfessed sin that keeps us from breaking through in prayer.  However, there are many people who will use this as a default position, and that, too, is wrong.  Jesus had such difficulty in praying at Gethsemane that he sweat drops of blood— NOT because of unconfessed sin, but because his heart was that overwhelmed.  Still, we should examine ourselves to see if we have started to move away from God– better to turn back than to go father afield.
  • sometimes, as with Christ in the Garden, our hearts are just overwhelmed in the moment– it’s hard to breathe!  It’s hard to go on; it’s hard to ask for help; it’s hard to keep the faith.  Just because it’s difficult, don’t give up– even if all you can do is groan or whimper–even if it feels like God has closed up the heavens and left you alone–don’t give up.  God DOES hear, he DOES care.  Sometimes, we are inches from victory– don’t give up!

And what can we do during those times?  Again, I wish I had better answers, but what I have, I want to share– some from my own experience, some wisdom from others, some of both:

  • Learn to “pray outside the box”–
    • Sing–sing the blues, sing an old hymn, sing along with the radio, sing like nobody else is listening
    • Write it out– write a letter, write an angry letter if you have to– write a rant, write a poem, write out all your questions
    • Move– dance, pace, run, punch a pillow, do some sit-ups, mop the floor, scrub the sink– as you get a rhythm going, add your thoughts or questions to your movements
    • Cry it out– it’s ok to cry, moan, sob, weep, or just stare into space and rock yourself to sleep after all the tears have dried up.  Jesus wept (John 11:35)– what makes us think that we can’t?

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  • Count your blessings
    • Make a list of what you have; what you have to be grateful for; what you have experienced and enjoyed now or in the past
    • Make a list of your questions, concerns, needs, wants, wishes–Now think back ten years and make a list of what you wanted then, and how many of those concerns have been answered, altered, or forgotten.
    • Put yourself in another time or place– what do you have here and now that others lack?  How do your present troubles compare to what others have had to deal with?
  • Ramp up your pursuit of God in other areas–
    • Search for answers in His word
    • Seek the companionship of someone you trust who will help you keep on going
    • Seek out counselors, web sites, and/or a church group or family who can keep you from becoming isolated

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The single most important thing is to continue the pursuit– seek God with all your heart–and you will find him sufficient through the silent times, as well as through the roaring of the fiercest storms.

 

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