Praying through the Tears

My mother was fond of using quotes and pithy sayings–“Pretty is as pretty does”, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile”, “Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” But one of the sayings that always bothered me was, “Laugh, and the world laughs with you; cry, and you cry alone.”

As a child and a young adult, I dreamed of a family— laughing with my husband and children around the dinner table; tucking in sweet-smelling, freshly bathed toddlers– I knew it wouldn’t always be dreamy like that, but I knew those precious moments would be worth the pains and frustrations that came with them.

Except they didn’t. The years passed. I worked hard, I dated occasionally, and I waited. I loved my work as a teacher, and later as a youth services librarian. Many of my friends married; my siblings married and had children. I was surrounded most days with amazing, talented, infuriating, inspiring, adorable, mostly happy, and sometimes moody teens and children. Other people’s children. And I felt guilty, frustrated, and angry. I wanted marriage. I wanted my own children. Well-meaning people kept setting me up on dates or suggesting pen pals, dating services, other churches to visit (“they have such a great program for singles…”), moving to a different town or bigger city. Some even suggested that I wasn’t trying hard enough–I needed a make-over, a new wardrobe, a new strategy. I needed to be more assertive with men, or less independent, or more feminine. I needed to be less picky. Other suggestions were even harsher–I wasn’t mature enough; God needed to “grow me up” before I would be ready for marriage.

In my mid-thirties, just as my “clock” was ticking louder and more insistent, I received an awful blow. “Polycystic ovary syndrome” meant that I had certain symptoms (underactive thyroid, facial hair, a greater risk of ovarian cysts, ovarian cancer, and heart disease) and certain irregularities, mood swings, etc. associated with my monthly cycle. But it also meant that my dream of having children was unlikely ever to be anything but a dream. Even if I had married young; even if I married within a week and started hormone therapy or invitro, my chances of conceiving and carrying to full term were essentially nil. I was stunned. I was numb for several hours, and then I cried.

And I cried alone. I wasn’t always crying; I read a lot, and watched a lot of TV and movies, sang along with my favorite CDs, danced around my living room like no one was watching (after all, no one was watching!), and, sometimes, I prayed. But I cried a lot, too. And I prayed through the tears. My prayers were sometimes prayers of anger, or confusion, questioning God’s love, his timing, his purpose. All those years of praying, asking God for a husband and children– had he been laughing at my pain? He knew I couldn’t have children– why had he allowed me to hope for so many years?

But long before I knew that I was barren; long before I had fully formulated my dream of the family I would never have, God had a plan for my good. For every tear I shed, he was right there with me– even when I couldn’t feel him there; even when I raged at him. I had a dream– it was a good dream, but it was a dream. And God’s plans are better than my dreams. ALWAYS. His plans are for our good–but not always for our pleasure.

Sometimes I still cry at night for the children I never had. But when I finish crying, I thank God. Not because of those missing children, but because out of that pain has come compassion– for other women who cry similar tears. Tears for children lost or never born; tears for children they chose to give up, or children who were taken. I thank God because of the many experiences I ended up gaining as a single woman– opportunities to travel, to pursue interests and develop skills. How many more opportunities might I have taken had I trusted God more than my dreams earlier and more fully?

And I thank God because of what he has given–nieces and nephews, grand-nieces and grand-nephews, former students and patrons who are still in touch and who still enrich my life. Most of all, I thank God for the privilege of leaving my tears to join my husband (a man who pursued me even as I was ready to give up on my dream of being a wife–I became a bride at 46!), my step-children, and our grandchildren; as well as a new set of wonderful siblings, nieces, nephews, and great-nephews (we’re still waiting for great-nieces on that side of the family).

Even if I never had the “happy ending” of a husband and family, I would still be grateful to my very good Father. And I will continue to pray through the tears when they come.

January 30, 2026 0

Bargain Basement Praying

I have a very bad habit (one among many). I tend to be competitive, and a bit of a perfectionist when I work at something. I’m never satisfied with “good enough” when I think I can do a little better. This includes shopping for bargains. I will go to great lengths to stretch a dollar; to save a few cents–outlet and discount stores, sale shelves, bargain basements–I’ve haunted them all.

But prayer shouldn’t be a “bargain basement” encounter. God is not in the business of selling. He’s in the business of redeeming. God is lavish in his Grace, and sufficient– even abundant– in his blessings.

It’s not that I should sit back and expect God to lavish me with abundant resources and comforts. But why do I hunt for the “bargains” in my prayer life? Why do I ask God for the bare minimum when I pray– “Lord, just help me get through this next hour.” “Father, help me pass this test.” “God, I need 10 dollars to get through the week.”

I’m eager to hunt for resources that I “find” at a bargain. Why am I not eager to see how God provides for my needs every day? Why is it more satisfying to work hard for what I need, than to see God come to my rescue when my efforts are not enough?

It’s not that I am asking for bad things or wrong things, or that I should be asking for so much more. But what does my attitude say about God? I say that God is Love, I say that he is Good. I say that he can do anything, and that he is gracious and merciful. But my prayer life says otherwise.

It’s time that I ask God for “my daily bread”, without expecting day-old leftovers. And, when he chooses to give me Manna, it’s time for me to see that provision for the miracle and the blessing that it is.

January 26, 2026 0

Perfect Peace

I know several people (myself included) who are facing stressful situations on a daily basis– some are fighting cancer, some are caring for aging parents, some have rebellious teens, some have lost jobs or are in danger of losing their home, some are fighting depression or addiction, others have lost close family members–some are facing multiple stressors every day.

Stress is a killer and a thief. It robs us of energy, time, and focus. And it isolates us– as we focus on our stressful surroundings, they begin to close in on us, hemming us in and keeping others out. We long to be stress-free–sitting on a beach or lying in a hammock or on a chaise without a care in the world– no worries, just peace. And we pray for it.

But peace isn’t the absence of stressful circumstances. I once met a man who was, in fact, lying on a chaise by a poolside, a sandy beach less than 100 feet away– palm trees and gentle breezes relieving the searing heat, icy drinks available at a whim. He had nothing to do but soak in the heat and sea air, relax, and enjoy his day. He had all the time and money he needed to find perfect peace– but he didn’t have it. He was bored, and restless, and dissatisfied with life. He couldn’t lie still, and he found no wonder in all the beauty and peace all around him.

Peace doesn’t come by denying stressful circumstances, or running away from them, either. Ask the next three people you meet how they are doing, and they will likely answer, “I’m fine.” We know they’re not really “fine”– they know that we know they’re not “fine,” yet neither of us tells or demands to know the truth. Stress isn’t contagious, but we avoid sharing it. I don’t want to hear about your stress, in case it reminds me of my own; you don’t want to share your stress in case I judge you as being weak or whiny. We learn from others around us that “success sells.” “Fake it until you make it,” as some would say.

We can’t get peace by any means in our own power– we can’t manufacture it, legislate it, demand it, buy it, trade for it, or wish it into being. In fact, the more we try to chase after it, the more elusive it becomes. Peace is a by-product of faith and trust– the result of a relationship in which circumstances are not borne or understood only by us but shared with someone all-wise and all-powerful. Our circumstances don’t need to disappear, but we must believe that they are not insurmountable or permanent, and that we are not forgotten in the midst of them.

You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you. (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)

Peace comes from knowing and sharing with the Prince of Peace. He doesn’t take away our circumstances (though he can, and sometimes will remove some of our stressors–even against our will). Most of the time, Jesus will take away our blinders, instead. He will turn our focus away from our own pain, loss, frustration, or confusion, and allow us to see Him working around us, in us, through us, in ways that put things back in perspective.

The peaceful scene I described above– the beach, the pool, the gentle breezes– I was in the same location and enjoying every minute of it. This in spite of numerous bug bites, an almost certain case of sunburn, and a very short time before I had to return to the snowy Midwest, and the normal stresses of my ordinary life. But, while I knew they were waiting for me, I wasn’t concentrating on them. And even while I enjoyed the beauty of the beach, I wasn’t focused on the sun or the sand, or my tan/burn progress. I was enjoying the memory of working with rescued children, of meeting amazing foster parents and missionaries, and of seeing what God was doing to heal and bring peace to lives that had been ravaged. I was seeing in the beauty of my short stay at the resort the promise of what God has in store for me throughout eternity. THAT will be perfect peace– not shortened by time, not diminished by restlessness or dissatisfaction, or denial.

January 21, 2026 0

The Ghost of Christmas Present

If you missed my last blog post, I’m looking at the story of A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens. It may not seem like a “jolly” Christmas story, or even a “religious” story, but it is “spiritual.” Ebenezer Scrooge is literally haunted by three spirits over the course of Christmas Eve. Last time, I spoke of the Ghost of Christmas Past. Today, I’d like to look at the Ghost of Christmas Present.

I know, Christmas was a few days ago– we’re currently at the cusp of New Year’s Eve, but these few days between Christmas and New Year’s Day can often feel jumbled up and run together. And, traditionally, the Christmas season is not just one day, but twelve days, stretching from December 25 to January 6. So today is still technically part of “Christmas.”

In “A Christmas Carol”, Scrooge is actually visited by four spirits. The first is the ghost of his old friend, Jacob Marley, who offers Scrooge both a dire warning, and a chance of redemption. Scrooge has already been visited by Marley, and by the ghost of Christmas past– a look at the moments and people who have shaped Scrooge’s life up to the present. Scrooge has seen both happiness and tragedy in his life, but the “light of truth” carried by the first ghost has shown how Scrooge has rejected happiness, instead embracing a life of fear, loneliness, and greed.

The next spirit, the Ghost of Christmas Present, focuses less of Scrooge himself, and more on the people he has ignored or rejected. This spirit shows Scrooge what he is missing by hoarding his wealth and isolating himself from the rest of the world. It is a picture that many of us would do well to study!

One of the first stops is the home of Bob Cratchit, Scrooge’s underpaid, put-upon clerk. Scrooge makes use of Bob’s time and skills, without ever showing any interest in him as a person. Scrooge is oblivious to Bob’s existence outside of the counting house. He assumes that Bob has a family, but he has no idea who makes up that family. The Ghost of Christmas Present forces Scrooge to see that Bob and his wife have several children, including a sickly and crippled son named Tiny Tim. Though they have very little money (thanks in part to Bob’s meager wages!), they have plenty of love and happiness. Scrooge fears many things that may happen, while his clerk faces very real fears that “haunt” him every day. Yet Bob does not complain, does not exhibit bitterness, and does not hide away from the world.

Next, the ghost takes Scrooge to see his nephew. Scrooge keeps his nephew at a distance because of his bitterness and fear. But in doing so, he is missing out on his nephew’s kindness, wit, and warm circle of friends. Scrooge has treated his nephew with disdain, fearing that the younger man is jealous of all his riches. But the ghost shows Scrooge that his nephew actually feels sorry for his uncle. Again, Scrooge has great wealth, but his nephew is content, and even very happy with his lower station in life. He loves his wife and enjoys friendships that make him wealthier in many ways than his uncle!

Finally, the ghost of Christmas Present shows Scrooge a sight he would never willingly see– the suffering and neediness of the poor, whom Scrooge has sneeringly consigned to death. Rather than seeing humanity, Scrooge sees only people who might drain him of his wealth– the undeserving poor who “cost more than they are worth.” The ghost reminds Scrooge of an earlier off-handed remark about helping those who would rather die than go to workhouses: “If they’d rather die, then let them do it–and decrease the surplus population!” The ghost warns Scrooge that he should be very careful in declaring who is among the ‘surplus population’. In heaven’s eyes, Ebenezer Scrooge himself might have less worth than ‘the least of these.’

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, and sisters you did it to me.’“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger, and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ (Matthew 25:40-45 ESV)

Scrooge’s feelings and senses are overwhelmed by what he experiences. The present surrounds him– the sights, the smells, the laughter, the cold of a dark winter’s night, and the heat from a roaring fireplace; the stench of the docks and homeless camps, and the aromas of Christmas dinner; the colors and lights of decorations, toys, and costumes; the ringing of bells, and the singing of Christmas Carols. Once again, Scrooge can hear music and laughter, he can sense the love and compassion, but he can only participate on the periphery. The music haunts him, but it comes from others, not from his own frozen heart.

So, what happens to us in this Christmas present? Do we feel connected to the joy and gratitude, the love and hope of the season? Or are we isolated by worry, frozen in fear, enslaved by anger or greed? Christmas is often a time of great sadness and loneliness. And sometimes, the laughter and the lights seem hollow and fake. Especially in the days just after Christmas, we can feel let down, abandoned by the promise of merriment and fulfillment brought by parties and gifts and feasting and entertainment. Outside, the winter is still cold, the bills keep coming in the mail, and fears and worries cloud our days. Some of our fears are very real– disease, grief, loss, sudden changes in circumstances and relationships–Christmas lights and music alone cannot cut through the fog.

My prayer for today, and for the New Year at our doorstep, is that we would open our ears and eyes and hearts to what is around us– acknowledge that we live in a fallen and often worrisome world, but recognize that there are opportunities all around us, as well. We don’t have to isolate. We don’t have to live in constant fear. Christmas isn’t just a day; it isn’t just a season– Christmas is about Christ coming to dwell with us!

Open your ears! Listen to the music of the season– “Peace on Earth! Good Will to Mankind!” “JOY to the World! The LORD has come!” “Let Heaven and Nature Sing!” “Glory to the Newborn King!” Keep listening to the promises of God’s Word– “Never will I leave you nor forsake you!” “Lo, I am with you always!”

Open your eyes– see the wonderful opportunities to share both joy and sadness with others. Seek out the great opportunities to give and receive help and love and fellowship! See the good things that the LORD has done– the friendships and family in your life; the beauty of nature, the ‘wonder of His Love!’.

Open your heart– Receive the greatest Gift! Redemption; new birth; eternal and abundant Life! Choose life and gratitude and humility. Practice childlike faith, hope, and JOY!

December 31, 2025 0

Be Not Afraid

Have you ever anticipated something so wonderful, that, when the time came, you were almost afraid of it? Afraid that the anticipation would exceed the wonder of the actual event? Afraid that the wonder would be eclipsed by some unforeseen tragedy? Afraid that your dreams were too big? That you could never deserve such happiness or blessing?

“That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified–but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying
“Glory to God in highest heaven,
and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”
When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them.” Luke 2:8-20 NLT (Emphasis added)

The shepherds on that first Christmas were terrified– their ordinary night had been shattered by the appearance of an angel of the LORD. And that was only the beginning! The angel announced the birth of Messiah– Christ, the LORD– in the nearby village of Bethlehem. And then an angelic host– a vast army– of angelic beings chose to worship in the skies that, just moments before, had been dark, still, and lonely.
“Fear not!” “Be not afraid!” Through the terror and overwhelming glorious radiance came a calm voice. “I bring good tidings of great joy!” “..shall be to ALL people…” “PEACE on earth!” “Christ is Born!”

The fulfillment of centuries of longing was finally here. The central hope of the entire nation of Israel had arrived. And the angel left no doubt that the shepherds were welcome, even commanded, to GO and see this miracle with their own eyes. The Biblical account says that they did go– but it also says they stopped to discuss it first. They talked it over and decided to face the mixture of thrilling joy and weak-kneed trembling. Could it really be?! The Messiah! Here and now! But…a babe? Wrapped, not in robes of glory, but in swaddling cloths? And…lying in a manger? Surrounded by sheep and donkeys? What if this was a cosmic hoax? What if there was a mistake? Would they be disappointed? Ashamed? Turned away because of their lowly status?

“Be Not Afraid!” The shepherds talked it over. How could they NOT go and see? What if the news was true?! And in going, they became the first ordinary witnesses of the most extraordinary birth in history! They came. They saw. They believed! And they worshipped.

And then, they shared their experience with others. They went back. They probably shared the news first with the sheep, rehearsing how they would spread the fantastic tale to those who still lay sleeping. But they may also have shouted it in the streets, waking up all the neighbors with the joyous news. The Bible doesn’t give us details. But it does tell us that they went back with joy and gladness. And conviction–“It was just as the angel had told them.” Nowhere in the Bible story did they show any more fear. They had no doubt. The wonder of Christ’s birth was everything they had been told to expect, and more!

This Christmas, we look back at the shepherds, and we try to recapture the wonder of that Holy Night, and the visit of the angels, and the discovery of a tiny Savior in a manger. And we will have the opportunity to celebrate, just as the shepherds did.

What will be our response to His coming? Will we spend this season glorifying a praising God? Will we “astonish” our neighbors as we tell about the Savior’s birth, and His subsequent death and resurrection? Will we heed the angel’s calming tones to “Be Not Afraid” as we encounter the Messiah? As we go “back to (our) flocks” and fields and daily life?

I pray that we will “consider well” this Christmas how “our good God” gave us His “beloved Son”– born in a humble manger, willing to die a humiliating death He did not deserve so that we could be free from the curse of Sin and Death. And may we pray for the courage and conviction to live out and speak out the Joy and Glory of His coming!

December 17, 2025 0

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel!

It is Advent season. We celebrate in four weeks an event that was anticipated for four hundred years! For four centuries, the people of Israel waited for the coming Messiah without ever hearing a word from God. Oh, there were prophecies– some stretching back centuries– that promised he would arrive. But when?!

Imagine praying earnestly for an event that would not happen for another three or four hundred years? Imagine praying into silence for an entire lifetime for an event that even your great-grandchildren would never witness?

We live in a fast world. Fast food, high-speed internet, overnight delivery of packages, instant communication, bullet trains– we have lost the skill of waiting. Yet Advent celebrates the waiting, the anticipation of a birth so amazing and so consequential, that we look back over 2,000 years in wonder!

The birth of Emmanuel was worth the wait. “God With Us” came into the world “at just the right time.” (Galatians 4:4). He was not a moment too early or too late to fulfill all the prophecies and bring Salvation to mankind. Those who prayed faithfully over the centuries may not have lived to see the fulfillment, but they put their hope and trust in the prophets and in the God they served.

We are in another Advent season– we await the return of Christ! We have no way of knowing the exact hour or day (or year or even century) of His return. But with the same wonder and hope of those faithful men and women of old, we should pray for His coming again! We should share the glorious story of His first coming. We should celebrate and worship the Faithfulness of God. He keeps all His promises “at just the right time.”

And as we wait, we must not give up hope or lose our passion for the Mission that Christ left with us. “Go, and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19-20). As wonderful as Christ’s birth was, it pales in comparison to His triumphant return to judge and rule the earth. May we look back in wonder and forward in joy as we celebrate this season.

December 1, 2025 0

Look Up!

My faith looks up to Thee,
Thou Lamb of Calvary,
Savior divine!
Now hear me while I pray,
Take all my guilt away,
Oh, let me from this day
Be wholly Thine!
May Thy rich grace impart
Strength to my fainting heart,
My zeal inspire!
As Thou hast died for me,
Oh, may my love to Thee
Pure, warm, and changeless be,
A living fire!
While life’s dark maze I tread,
And griefs around me spread,
Be Thou my guide;
Bid darkness turn to day,
Wipe sorrow’s tears away,
Nor let me ever stray
From Thee aside.
When ends life’s transient dream,
When death’s cold, sullen stream
Shall o’er me roll;
Blest Savior, then in love,
Fear and distrust remove;
Oh, bear me safe above,
A ransomed soul!
Hymn lyrics by Ray Palmer 1830

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ²fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12:1-3 New International Version (NIV)

When was the last time you spent a little time sky-gazing? Looking up at the stars? Or even looking up at ceiling tiles or roof lines?

It turns out that the very act of looking up is good for your body, mind, and soul. Looking down, on the other hand, can, over time, lead to neck and back problems, and contribute to depression. (for more info, use a search engine to look up “health benefits of looking up” or click here: https://www.spine-health.com/blog/modern-spine-ailment-text-neck )

The author of Hebrews reminds us that we should be “fixing our eyes on Jesus” as we run the “race marked out for us”. This is more than just watching the road ahead or looking up at the sky. We look up at Jesus because:

He is the Author and Finisher (the pioneer and perfecter) of our Faith. Faith must be anchored…we will believe in something, or we’ll fall for anything, someone has said, and if we don’t make a choice to fix our eyes on Jesus, we will end up looking around or down for something else.
He is our guide. Like a highway sign keeping us on the right road and keeping us from taking a wrong turn, we look to Him to stay on track.
He is our example. In looking up to him, we are also learning how to live and endure and overcome.
He is our advocate and encouragement! How much better will we run when we look up to see Him cheering us on!
He is our goal. We run to Him, so we look up to see how close we are to running into His loving arms.

November 26, 2025 0

How Must I Pray for My Enemies?

We are commanded to pray for our enemies. This is not an easy command to understand, let alone follow. Should I pray for the destruction of my enemies? Or should I pray for their success? Surely, God doesn’t want me to pray that they will continue in evil or succeed in corruption and destruction. So where is the balance? What does God want from me?

I wish I had a simple answer, but I don’t. The Bible, however, gives us several examples and guidelines. There are things we should pray for, and things that we need to give over to God.

DO pray for the following:

Pray for the protection of your enemies– protection from their own folly, protection from the temptations and wiles of the enemy, etc.
Pray for them to choose repentance and accept God’s salvation through Jesus Christ.
Pray for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Is your enemy hungry? Suffering from grief or loneliness? Do they have cancer? Are they blind to God’s Grace because they have followed false teachers or doctrines? Pray for their health in all areas and be willing to offer practical help when possible.
Pray for their families.
Forgive them–pray for the strength to forgive and to let go of any bitterness or resentment against them for past wrongs or current actions.
Pray that God will bring peaceful resolution–and be willing to do whatever you can within God’s will to help bring that about.
Pray that God will bring Justice–not personal revenge for you. Pray that God will, in His way and His timing, uphold what is righteous and wholly just.

DO NOT pray for:

Their destruction. If they are not following Christ, they are already on the road to destruction! Praying for their death, or physical harm is not Biblical. This does NOT mean that we cannot pray that their deception should be exposed, or their power over others for evil should not be stripped away. Remember, our “enemy” is not the person or persons involved, but the EVIL they represent. If you are tempted to pray for someone’s death or wishing them to get cancer or cheering on those who would hurt them, YOU are just as guilty of grieving the Holy Spirit as they are!
Their triumph. “Praying for your enemy” is not the same as cheering them on. Forgiving them is not the same as praying that they get a “free pass” on past behavior.
God to “make” them change. God desires that we choose to follow Him. Pray instead that God will bring opportunities for others to want to seek Him, and to choose repentance.
Them to apologize, grovel, or be humiliated so that you can feel better. God MAY cause any of those things to happen, but we should not demand our own importance over God’s Grace.

Along with these guidelines, we should remember that we must treat everyone with respect and love. But that doesn’t mean that we compromise on the truth. Many of “our” enemies are really in rebellion against God and His Word. We can continue to love and respect their humanity and their need for compassion without condoning their behavior or accepting as valid their false narratives.

*David spares Saul’s life in the cave (1 Samuel 24)*

King David often prayed about his enemies. And some of his prayers may seem like the ones on the DO NOT list above. David often prayed that his enemies would be vanquished; that their names would be blotted out, or that they would fall victim to their own traps. But David also refused to harm his arch-enemy King Saul. Though God had promised that the kingdom would be taken from Saul and given to him, David refused to kill one who had been anointed as king of Israel (see 1 Samuel chapters 24 and 26). David killed many men in battle, and he committed murder in ordering the death of Uriah, but he showed kindness to Saul’s family, rather than punishing them (2 Samuel 9). God punished David for murder, but He blessed David for showing compassion to his enemies.

Jesus prayed for His disciples– that they would grow in Love and Grace. He instructed them to pray for those who have hurt them (Matthew 5:43-48). He never prayed for the destruction of the Pharisees or the Roman oppressors who caused so much suffering in Judea. Instead, he healed the son of the Roman official (see John 4:46-54) who asked for help. Even when the mob came to arrest Jesus in the garden before His crucifixion, He healed the ear of the soldier, after Peter cut it off trying to defend Him. And on the Cross, Jesus prayed that the father would “forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34)

Stephen, as he was being stoned, prayed for the forgiveness of his killers. Saul, who became the Apostle Paul, would have heard this prayer as he stood guarding the coats of the assassins. Throughout the epistles, we are reminded to pray for our enemies, AND to do our best to live in peace with them. (Romans 12:18; 1 Timothy 2:1-3; see also 2 Peter 3:9)

It is very tempting to want God to step in and do what we want– bring instant justice and punishment to those who harm us. But that is NOT God’s will. It IS His will that we should trust HIM to bring about true justice and to bring others to repentance. Including our “enemies.”

November 21, 2025 0

Full Disclosure

I like to know things–I like to solve puzzles, figure out mysteries, learn trivial facts. I want answers. So when I go before God in prayer, I often ask questions. Why is this person suffering? When will their suffering end, and how? Where were you in this disaster (as though God had stepped out for a minute and wasn’t aware of what happened)?

God stays silent.

I can grow frustrated in the silence or I can learn to trust. That doesn’t mean that I no longer want answers; just that I am willing to wait on God’s sovereign timing. It also means that I am need to more about God’s nature–God doesn’t keep secrets or withhold knowledge because He wants to torment me, or frustrate me, or play some cosmic mind game (though some people accuse Him of doing just that). God withholds full disclosure of His plans, His reasoning, and His nature out of love and compassion. Suppose I could see into the future, even give out warnings, but had no power to stop disaster from coming. Not only would I be haunted by the disaster itself, but by the full knowledge of its coming. Suppose I could see a miracle in advance; know when and how it would unfold. There would still be joy, but it would be muted by the foreknowledge– of course there would be a happy ending; of course there would be a miracle– I saw it all from afar off.

The Apostle Paul touches on this in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13. This is commonly known as the “Love Chapter”, and the first half is frequently quoted at weddings and church sermons. But the end of the chapter is a wonderful message of hope and faith, ending with Paul’s triumphant statement about all three:

1 Corinthians 13:8-13 English Standard Version (ESV)

⁸Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. ¹¹When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. ¹²For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

¹³So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

monochrome photography of a man looking in front of mirror

God loves us with a perfect love. Because of that, I can trust Him, and have hope in the midst of my questioning. So when I pray with questions, I can know that God has “filed them away”– He is fully aware of my situation, questions and all, and He is fully faithful to answer them all in His perfect wisdom and timing. Someday, I will know– not only all that I don’t know now, but why I had to wait.

God will provide full disclosure. with compassion, love, and wisdom that only He can give.

November 19, 2025 0

Push and Pull and Prayer

Many years ago, I watched the movie, Dr. Doolittle. (This was the old version with Rex Harrison, long before Eddie Murphy or Robert Downey Jr. starred in the more recent remakes.) I can still remember the wonder of seeing a “Pushmi Pullyu– a quirky, mythical-type creature that looked like a conjoined llama. It had two heads and two sets of front legs pointing in opposite directions. If one half of the creature wanted to run forward, the other half would have to try to run backward. It was large, awkward, timid, but rather useless for working, herding, etc.

Then, last week, as I was entering the ladies’ rest room at church, I was astonished to find it opening with only the lightest of touches. Just as I tried to push open the door, someone on the other side was pulling it open on her end. Both of us commented on how easily the door swung open as I pushed and she pulled at the same time. We didn’t plan it– we couldn’t see the other person helping us along– but the result was worthy of remark.

There are many things in life that have a push and pull element, including prayer. When we push and pull in opposite directions, awkwardness, complications, and chaos can be the result. How many times have I prayed very specifically for a desired result, only to find that MY will, MY timing, and MY wisdom is NOT the same as God’s?! God still hears– and answers– my prayers. But my expectations and desires cause me to be frustrated and even ungrateful for God’s response. Instead of seeing His protection and provision, I see only delay or denial. I’m trying to push God in one direction as He pulls me in another!

How much easier when I pray for God’s will to be done “on earth as it is in Heaven!” (Matthew 6:10) When I truly push in God’s direction, doors open and peace wraps around me like a comfortable blanket. I may not “see” God’s actions on the other side of the door, but I can sense His presence in a remarkable way!

The same is true when asking for prayer from others. Sometimes, we refuse to ask for help or prayer– maybe we’re too proud; maybe we are too ashamed to admit our weakness or need; maybe we just isolate or withdraw. At other times, we may ask for help (or offer help) that is contrary to what we (or others) really need. I remember one friend from college who would consistently ask for advice, only to come up with dozens of excuses why she couldn’t (or wouldn’t) follow any of it! And I’ve been there, too!

Praying with and for others is a great privilege and responsibility. It is not enough to simply listen to a quick request or make an offhand promise to “pray about it” later. It is important to listen carefully, show compassion, and pray according to Scripture and God’s will. Showing compassion may involve asking questions, getting some background about the circumstances, offering practical help, or stopping to pray WITH the person NOW as well as praying later.

Thankfully, prayer is not meant to be like a Pushmi-Pullyu. God designed prayer to be much more than a means of asking for help. And His power is designed to help us become “more than conquerors” (Romans 8:37). In fact, the Apostle Paul reminds us that God is “able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us” (Ephesians 3:20)

November 17, 2025 0

Tag: Faith