More Important

Everything I thought I wanted
Was more important than
Spending time in prayer that day.

The noise of the radio in the background;
The daydreams and worries in my head-
Drowned out
That still small voice.

As the day passed by
My thoughts and actions
Turned…
Your presence
Nowhere to be found.
My worries and fears
Cancelling out
Faith.
UNTIL– I saw Your power in someone else’s life, giving ever increasing
Faith;
Cancelling out
My worries and fears–
(Nowhere to be found).
Your presence
Turned
My thoughts and actions
As the day passed by.

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That still small voice
Drowned out
The daydreams and worries in my head;
The noise of the radio in the background.

Spending time in prayer that day
Was more important than
Everything I thought I wanted.

Positioning for Prayer

Bow, kneel, stand; hands folded, hands raised, hands clasped–there are many positions we assume when praying.  And different types of prayer seem to have different positions.  We tend to say grace seated or standing behind our chair at the table.  Some families hold hands; others bow their heads and fold their hands.  Some corporate prayers call for kneeling; others are said standing.  Some people bow, some kneel on the floor with arms outstretched; some curl up in their favorite easy chair; some face east or toward a certain focal point; some touch or hold an object, like a rosary or a Bible, or the wall or surface of a sacred place.  Some pray with eyes closed; others with eyes raised toward Heaven.

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Does any of this posturing and positioning really matter?  Does God have a preference?  A requirement?  Does He get offended if I stand, or keep my eyes open or neglect to hold my hands a certain way?

The answer is not as easy as one might think–The Bible has many specific accounts of prayer, as well as many commands and guidelines.  Hebrew priests stood with hands raised to pronounce blessing and to seek God’s favor.  King David’s psalms are poetic prayers.  They don’t often describe a position of standing or kneeling, but many of them imply a position of lying down, pacing, clapping, shouting, climbing, etc.  Jesus often prayed alone, and spoke of praying privately– in corners and closets away from prying eyes and listening ears.  On the night of the Last Supper and in the Garden of Gethsemane, the Bible describes Jesus as praying while “looking toward Heaven” (John 17:1), and later, “he fell with his face to the ground and prayed.” (Matthew 26: 39)

All this indicates that positions matter in relation to the function or the nature of the prayer.  And that’s where I want to focus my thoughts today.

God isn’t displeased if I stand to pray, rather than kneel–unless I am standing in pride and arrogance.  He is pleased if I kneel in humble and contrite spirit, but not if I kneel out of false humility or to impress others with my self-righteous posturing.  If I bow my head at the table out of habit, and forget who I am supposed to be talking to, or “pretend” to kneel instead of leaving the comfort of my chair– then I may need to take a new position; a new attitude of prayer.

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God isn’t impressed with our physical position in prayer– but I believe he wants our whole self, our undivided attention and our physical and emotional expression and attitude.  Sometimes, the physical position comes as a natural extension of our grief, our joy, our reverence, and our stillness before His throne.  Other times, our physical position brings us out of our pride, our busyness, and prepares our heart attitude.

I have had moments–even days– when I was not naturally motivated to quiet my spirit, bow my head or my heart, and kneel before my Maker.  But in kneeling, and bowing my head, and closing my eyes, I was positioning more than just my body.  I was coming in obedience to the one– the only one– who can transform my mind, renew my spirit, and soothe my restless heart.  Other times, I could not kneel for the joy and exuberance of the moment.  Standing on tiptoe, hands raised, head raised, and heart raised, I sang out to my Father in gratitude and awe.

So the answer to the question– Does our position in prayer matter?– would seem to be, “no.”  What matters is our attitude. God is not impressed or fooled by an outward show–he is concerned with our heart’s desire to be close to him. There is, however, one position that is pivotal in the pursuit of prayer.  That is the position of Faith.  In Hebrews, we are told that “without Faith, it is impossible to please God, for whoever comes to him must believe that he exists, and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him..”(Hebrews 11:6)  Jesus spoke of faith that can move mountains, even if it is the size of a mustard seed.  Whether kneeling or standing, grieving or rejoicing, our prayers must be accompanied by faith– faith that God exists; that he is loving and gracious and all-powerful to save; faith that our “position” in him is one of reconciliation and renewed life through his grace and the finished work of Jesus Christ; faith that he will hear our prayers and answer according to his will; faith that his will is altogether good and perfect– even when we don’t understand it in the here and now.

One final thought–though the Bible does not specifically require that we kneel to pray as we pursue a relationship with him, it does declare that one day, “at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth, and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord…” (Philippians 10-11a).  I can practice kneeling in this life, knowing that it won’t go to waste!

Of Prime Rib and Bruised Kneecaps

My sister works for a multi-national corporation. Her division won a competition, and she invited me to the celebration event last weekend. It was a fabulous opportunity to spend time with my sister, meet many of her colleagues, and enjoy being “spoiled” as a guest. We flew to the world headquarters in Atlanta, took a tour, got dressed up and attended the “event.” They had prime rib, chicken wings with peach barbecue sauce, shrimp, a variety of pasta dishes and vegetable sides, desserts, beverages, and tons of “bling.” They gave out hats, patches, pins, bandanas, light-up bracelets, rings, and glasses, leather bookmarks, robot-drawn caricatures, photos, bags, and more. There was a private concert with a major musical artist, as well as a drum corps, trampoline artists, people walking around on stilts, and ladies in LED costumes dancing. It was like a Circus and a visit to Disneyworld all wrapped up together.

What does any of this have to do with prayer (or bruised kneecaps)? I’m getting to that…

My description of this weekend may not seem to include God, but He was definitely there every step of the way. We made it to the airport with plenty of time on Friday. This was important because my sister had mobility issues and cannot walk quickly through the airport. Right at the entrance, there was a lady from our airline who confirmed that a porter would be able to take my sister in a wheelchair directly to our gate, saving us both time and stress. He was amazing, helping us feel comfortable and even festive as we waited to board. At our gate, we were informed that our seat assignments had changed– we were right behind first class and had extra leg room!

The flight was terrific. I had not flown in a few years, and I always like to fly– to see clouds from the top, to see whole farms and villages rolling out below; to see rivers and hills and mountains from a distance and to realize just how big the world really is. It also reminds me that I am incredibly small and weak, but that God is bigger, more powerful, and more wonderful than anything I can see (or even imagine) from the airplane. Mary and I were able to chat, “catch up,” and reminisce as we sailed through cloudy skies and bumped pleasantly along with minor turbulence.

Then, mid-flight, we were told that our plane might have to divert to Montgomery or Birmingham due to a storm front in Atlanta. All or our arrangements had been carefully planned, and while we might not miss the event entirely, a delay for refueling or worse, having to change planes, would make us late and leave us with no time to check in at the hotel or change into our dress clothes! Yet, minutes later, our pilot informed us that all the details “had been worked out” so that we would land in Atlanta on time! Coincidence? I don’t think so!

We arrived at the Atlanta airport and were immediately surprised to learn that the wheelchair my sister requested was not only not there, all her information about the flight we just deboarded had been lost– they had no record that she had ordered a wheelchair, or even that she had been on the plane! But within less than ten minutes, all those details had been worked out, and we were escorted through the airport and taken directly and safely (by a very pleasant man from Senegal) to the area where we got an Uber to our hotel. The hotel had snacks and an event station where we were welcomed and made comfortable, and we were warmly greeted, not only by the hotel staff, but by many of my sister’s co-workers, including her boss’s boss’s boss! We had plenty of time, not only to change, but to take the tour we had planned earlier!

Returning to our hotel from the afternoon’s activities, we changed and went down to the lobby, where we were informed that, in spite of a last-minute cancellation, someone had been found to drive us (and another pair of sisters with mobility issues) to the event, instead of having to walk two or three blocks and several hundred yards through the gates and walkways at the stadium. More wheelchairs were provided for my sister and the other woman once we arrived at the venue, and my sister was warmly greeted (as was I) by more of her colleagues. This event could have been a nightmare of people pushing and shoving, jockeying for the best seats or the best food based on their seniority or title, chugging down free alcoholic drinks and becoming obnoxious, and generally behaving at their worst. Instead, it was civil, friendly, celebratory, and filled with people from all over North America, from all stations and positions within the corporation, enjoying a night of being together in one place and enjoying a well-earned celebration. One of the special guests of the night was the chairman of another large corporation– one known for His Christian values, which he spoke of freely!

We went back to the hotel, exhausted but strangely energized by the whole thing, and eager to enjoy the luxury of our hotel room. We had to wait several minutes for an elevator (due to the crowds returning from the event), which allowed us to meet yet another wonderful couple who were enjoying their anniversary. It has sometimes been my experience that when strangers have to wait in lines or ride through busy city streets, they can either get on one another’s last nerve, or they can become new friends. We made a lot of new friends in less than 24 hours!

The next day, we went to the Atlanta airport to get our flight home. Once again, we had a great porter who got us through security and even helped another couple who were struggling with her motorized wheelchair. The porter made sure we all stayed together until we had to split up at Concourse D. More new friends! We had plenty of time, so we walked down the long concourse (our gate was nearly the last one!) And that’s when disaster struck!

Have you ever had one of those moments when you know you are going to fall– you try to regain your balance, but you see yourself falling in a series of awkward stumbles and jerks, and the floor is rising rapidly to meet your face? Well, I ended up falling on my purse, which did a great job of protecting my rib cage. And I landed at such an angle that I did not hit my head or shoulder. I did not break or dislocate any of my bones. I did, however, land on my left knee and my right hand. Several people immediately came to see if I was ok. My knee and leg were throbbing, as was my hand near my thumb. But I was able to get up and walk, albeit painfully. I limped the rest of the way to our gate, waiting to see if I could hobble onto the plane and into my seat. We still had over an hour before our plane left, so I managed to hobble as far as a restroom and a snack bar (both within a few yards, thankfully) and back to the gate area, proving I could do so.

Yet God was there, too! My tumble could have been so very much worse. I could have required hospitalization in Atlanta (or even when I got home). I might have been concussed or suffered a sprain that would have kept us from making our final flight. Instead, I am sore, but able to recuperate at home, and write about my experience from the comfort of my own chair. And I have a much greater understanding of what my sister goes through each time she has to travel. My injuries are temporary and sharp– her pain is deep and chronic. I got to see how many wonderful people work to make it possible and even enjoyable for people with mobility issues to travel safely, and I was humbled to experience what it means to rely on the goodness of strangers.

They say that “the devil is in the details.” But this weekend, I was reminded over and over again that it is really God who shows up in the details. When God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6), it covers everything and everywhere from 35,000 feet in the air, to staring at the parquet flooring of an airport concourse– from being in a long line waiting for an elevator to being guided through a tunnel underneath a huge stadium–from help with reservations and transportation to meeting needs for companionship and connection, and yes, even recuperation. God was there in every (even painful) step of the way!

This weekend saw blessings– from prime rib at dinner, to bruised kneecaps (not normally considered a blessing), and I’m grateful, knowing God saw all of this in advance and provided just the right help in His time!

We may not always see God’s hand at work in the moment, but rest assured that He is in control, that He is right by our side every moment, and that we can trust Him to work out the details!

I Can’t Do All Things

 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (Philippians 4:13 KJV)

I remember memorizing this Bible verse (in the King James version above) as a child. It is one of the most quoted (and, I think, misunderstood) verses I know. Taken out of context, it seems to promise unlimited potential for the Christian. I can… perform miracles, do six impossible things before breakfast, leap over a tall building, bring about world peace, and finish folding the laundry from last week!

The reality is that I can’t do ALL things. There are many things I simply cannot do– even as a Christian. I cannot grow six inches taller or shed 45 pounds overnight. I cannot cure cancer. I cannot bring about world peace. Christ CAN do any of that and more; and He can work through me to accomplish great things– more than I can do in my own power. But if I expect to do whatever I imagine or aspire to– I will be disappointed. Even with God’s Power working in my life.

But God is not only a source of power– He is the source of wisdom and love. And in His wisdom and love, he often limits what He will allow me to do. So, there are supernatural things I cannot do without God’s help and power, and there are seemingly ordinary things I cannot do without God’s permission and grace, because doing those things will go against God’s perfect plan.

I was speaking recently with a friend of mine from church. We were speaking of infertility– a problem we have both experienced. Most of the women I know who experience infertility, barrenness, multiple miscarriages, etc., have to come to terms with the ache of being “abnormal.” We assume that “normal” women can become pregnant and have children. We accept that sometimes a woman will lose a child in the womb. But when it happens over and over again, or when a woman can’t seem to get pregnant, it causes a woman to question her identity and worth. “Am I even a ‘real’ woman?” “What kind of woman can’t do the most basic “womanly” thing– give life?” We also have to come to terms with the fact that God has chosen to allow this in our lives. Does God still love me, or is He angry with me or punishing me for being “not enough”? How can God love me and let me suffer such emptiness?

And we’ve all heard stories– amazing stories in the Bible and elsewhere– of women who DID get pregnant through a miracle. Sarah, Mary, Elizabeth, Rachel, Hannah…In fact, we hear nothing of women who are barren in the old Bible stories…or do we? Anna in Luke chapter 2 is an old widow who lives in the temple. There is no mention of any children, only of her devotion to the Temple and to her God. Dorcas, who was raised from the dead by the Apostle Peter in Acts 9, is praised, not for her motherhood, but for her charitable deeds among her neighbors. Deborah, the prophetess and judge who led the Israelites into battle along with their general Barak, is mentioned as a wife, but not a mother. In ancient societies, very few women were singled out for praise outside of their roles as wives and mothers.

As women, we may question many aspects of our “role” in society. Some of us chafe at the traditional roles we are expected to perform, while others question why their traditional roles seem to be denied. I spent decades questioning why I remained “on the sidelines”– unmarried, lackluster dating opportunities, out of step with other women my age. When I first was diagnosed with Stein-Levinthal syndrome and told that it would almost eliminate any chance that I could become a mother, it was almost a relief. At least I could “congratulate” myself for not disappointing a husband I didn’t have, or go through the pain of watching him question his manhood when no children came, not knowing if the “problem” was his or mine. Other friends of mine question their role as “the weaker sex,” going to great lengths to prove that they don’t need a man in their life, or that they can compete with men for jobs, status, wealth, and power.

But God didn’t just create me to “DO” things. God created me to BE. And He created me to be in relationship with Him. And my experience gives me the opportunity to speak into the lives of other women who are hurting. I have found purpose and comfort, love and abundant joy, challenge and opportunity in the midst of infertility. And now that I’m in my sixties, I find it easier to reconnect with women my age who are empty-nesters, grandmas, widows, and “maiden aunts.” God has allowed us to DO many things.

I am struck by the fact that Philippians 4:13 was written by the Apostle Paul. Paul was in prison when he wrote this letter. “I can do all things” did not mean that Paul was able to escape prison walls or the sentence he was under. It didn’t mean that he could compel his friends to stay and attend to his needs. It didn’t mean that he could escape this “thorn in the flesh” that he wrote about in 2 Corinthians or defy the aging process. Paul didn’t mean that he could literally do “all” things. But he was reminding the Philippian believers of all the amazing things that he could and did do in his work as a missionary. He didn’t cheat death altogether, but he cheated it several times, living through beatings and shipwrecks and snakebites. He didn’t escape the thorn in the flesh, but he persevered in spite of it. And remarkably, though Paul never married or had biological children, he built relationships with people like Timothy, whom he considered a son. And He accomplished amazing things for the Kingdom of God!

So, no, I cannot do ALL things– I cannot do some of the miraculous things I want to do. Sometimes, it is even God’s will that I should be prevented from doing such things– even good and “normal” things– in order that God can mold me into a shape and for a purpose that is just right for HIS perfect plan. I may not see it in my lifetime or understand it perfectly. I will still grieve for what “might have been” in my life. But I will continue to experience joy in the journey the God has mapped out for me. And whatever He asks– well, I CAN do that! Not on my own, but beyond what I can imagine!

Surprise!

The world is full of surprises– some good, some bad.  Open your mailbox on any given day, or walk down the street…you are bound to see something unexpected.  You may get a bill you forgot about, or run into an old friend.  There are surprises in the weather patterns, in traffic patterns, in relationships, in jobs, all around our houses and neighborhoods, in world events.  Some are shocking, some delightful, and any of them can change our days or even our lives.

We like pleasant surprises; we fear the unpleasant ones.  But most of us don’t pray for them.  We pray for miracles–healing and rescue and transformation–pleasant outcomes that we hope for or imagine.  We pray for ease and comfort, or wisdom and strength to face the bad times.  But we don’t ask God to surprise us.

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Why don’t I ask God to awe me?  Dazzle me?  Surprise me?  Sometimes I fear that he might surprise me with what my past actions deserve.  More often, I simply want to stay in the comfort and simplicity of what I already know.  I don’t want to be delighted; I just want to be entertained.

One thing I know, but I need to be reminded:  God does not give bad surprises.  He does not send ANYTHING into my life that can’t be used for my good and his glory.  The world will send tragedy and I will have to face the consequences of Sin– mine and others’.  I may be unfairly treated at work; I may be struck by a drunk driver and paralyzed.  I may face difficult losses, and inexplicable circumstances.  And the mistake is to see these as “surprises” from God.  God never promised a pain-free, problem-free life in this world, but he surprises us with the kind of gifts that overcome and even confound our tragic circumstances– the power to forgive, to be joyful, to have peace, and share love.

John 16:33 English Standard Version (ESV)

33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Matthew 7:9-11 New International Version (NIV)

9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

The road ahead is full of surprises–that’s a great reason to pray.  God loves to surprise us with good things– that’s another great reason to pray for them!

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Puzzling Prayers

Have you ever been puzzled by prayer? Prayer is very mysterious. It’s difficult to explain how it “works.” I ask God to do something– sometimes I ask for very specific things. And if God chooses, He sends me exactly what I have asked for. But what if He doesn’t? Does that mean that He didn’t hear? Or does it mean that I am “out of favor” with Him? If God answers a very specific prayer, is it because I prayed for that specific answer or would He have done it anyway? Does my prayer change God’s plans, or does God cause me to pray what He wanted to do from the start? I can’t give a definite answer, because God’s ways are NOT my ways. I don’t fully understand how prayer operates.

But I don’t have to puzzle about prayer. I don’t have to analyze and dissect the various elements of prayer or of God’s Sovereign will in order to pursue prayer. Prayer has very little to do with any of the variables I can understand or control. Prayer is communicating (hopefully in an intimate and worshipful way) with a Sovereign and Holy God. If I could figure out the “how” I would not so treasure the WHO!

There are some guidelines, however, that make prayer a bit less puzzling and more practical:

  • Prayer isn’t about ME. I don’t have to be perfect, or eloquent, or righteous in order to call out to God. His answers don’t depend on who I am (status) or what I’ve done (performance). He doesn’t “grade on a curve,” and He doesn’t have favorites. “Whosoever” is a word that comes up often in Christ’s teachings, and I need to remember that NOTHING can separate me from the Love of Christ (see Romans 8:38-39), and ONLY Christ has made that possible (see John 15:5 and Acts 4:12)
  • Prayer isn’t about me, but it is FOR me. God already knows my thoughts, feelings, and attitudes. But He invites me to pray, so that WE can enjoy a relationship. God can survive and thrive without me, but I can’t live an abundant (and certainly not an eternal) life without Him. We were created to live in relationship– with others and with Him– and you can’t have a relationship without communication. And you can’t have a fulfilling relationship if the communication is only one-sided! God communicates with us in many ways– He’s given us His Word, He sends us the Holy Spirit, and He sends wisdom and encouragement through other people. But prayer is our way of responding! Browse through the Psalms and see how deeply personal prayer can be!
  • Prayer ISN’T transactional. Because prayer is meant to be relational, it is deep and personal– not shallow and transactional. In other words, it isn’t about WHAT I’m praying for or WHAT God gives in response. It is about sharing WHO we are– prayer may or may not answer my immediate circumstances, but it WILL answer (eventually and satisfactorily) the cry of my heart and allow me to know God more fully. While I can keep a record of how and when God has provided answers to my prayers, to remind me of His tender care or to encourage me as I face new challenges, I do not need to keep a “scorecard” of God’s answers– it is not a competition or a power play.
  • Because prayer is not transactional, it’s not really about the results. Of course, that is what we, in our lack of knowledge and understanding, can point to and keep track of, but Faith causes us to “see” the results that don’t yet exist (see Hebrews 11:1 and 6), and have confidence that God WILL act according to His Holy character and perfect will (see Hebrews 11:39-40). We pray BEYOND what we can see and know, because God is greater than our circumstances!
  • Prayer isn’t a procedure; it is a process and a pursuit. Because prayer is part of an ongoing and deepening relationship with God, it is never finished. We may say “Amen” at the end of each prayer, but really, prayer is a continuing conversation, not a task to complete. God may not answer a single “chat” when He wants to develop a conversational thread or an ongoing discussion.
  • God’s ways and plans are mysterious and majestic in ways my mind cannot grasp. I can puzzle and protest and whine about what God chooses to do, and when and how He chooses to do it, but I cannot tell Him how or when or why He MUST do anything. Because I can only guess at outcomes and results. God KNOWS. And even when His ways don’t seem to make sense, I can trust Him, not because I know the answers, but because I know HIM!

Prayers In the Half-Light

We’ve had electrical problems at our apartment for the past few days. We haven’t lost all our power, but the overhead lights are all connected to wall switches that aren’t working. The repairman is supposed to come today or tomorrow to address the issue. But it’s been a weird experience to say the least.

Our refrigerator, stove, air conditioning, water heater, and computer are all functioning as usual, but there is no light in the bathroom at all, and only window and skylight available in the rest of the rooms. We were able to find one floor lamp, which gives some light in the living room– just enough to read for a few minutes, but not enough to light up the other rooms, including the kitchen, where I need to cook and do dishes. Most of our life continues as normal, but at night, or during the recent rains, it gets very dark. We have flashlights and candles, but it is difficult to take a shower or cook in the dark!

I’m not complaining. We are marvelously blessed to have the appliances working as they do. But it changes one’s perspective. We take our lights for granted.

I like to think that I see the world around me clearly; that I know where I am going and understand my surroundings. I take for granted the illusion of control and clarity. Even in my prayers, I like to think that I know what to pray about, who to pray for, and how to approach God in prayer. But often, I am praying in the half-light. I don’t really see things clearly, I’m not in control of my own circumstances, and I’m only guessing at what I need (or what anyone else needs). I see God as part of my surroundings, or distant, rather than the One who holds all things in His hand while being ever-present with me.

But God delights to hear us even when– especially when– we can’t see the next step clearly. Faith that is never put to the test isn’t given a chance to be strengthened. Faith can shine through during moments of crisis. If we lost our power completely, it would be easier somehow to fall back on Faith, knowing that God sees and hears; that He will provide. But in the half-light, it is tempting to look for ways to rely on my own ingenuity to “manage” the crisis and not “bother” God with my temporary struggles.

And I find that I do this with emotional, relational, and even spiritual struggles, too. Of course, I turn to God in the dark, when I can’t see to do anything. But what about when I can “handle it” for a while. I have all that I need to survive, but I’m facing a new challenge, or a temporary disruption?

When I pray for my unsaved neighbors or family members, I can’t see what they really need. I can see that they are lost– perhaps miserable and struggling, but also perhaps believing that everything in their life is fine. But I can’t dictate to God how or when or what will be best for them. Often, they are living lifestyles that are taking them further away from God. Sometimes, they are entrenched in philosophies and experiences that cut them off from the truth. In my limited wisdom, I would pray for immediate results– that they would repent NOW. I don’t think that’s wrong to want, but it may not be God’s plan for them. It may be that God will redeem them from such thinking and situations only after they have experienced heartache and suffering– so that they will be in a position to help people who otherwise will never hear the Truth. God’s ways are not my ways– and His ways are ALWAYS best!

Jesus said, “‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” (John 8:12). The overhead lights I think I depend on in my apartment cannot give me the light of life. All they can do is shine light on the things in my apartment. Only God can shine His light in my heart, mind, and soul! And that’s where my focus needs to be in prayer– not on what I can see around me, but what God will light up as I walk with Him.

Prayer Brings Peace

“When peace, like a river, attendeth my soul;
When sorrows, like sea-billows roll–
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
‘It is well–it is well– with my soul.'”

As I write this, all is not well with my life.  I have bills looming, a leaky roof, and I’m grieving a recent family loss.  I worry about my husband as he travels and faces danger on the job, about my aging relatives, and our kids and grandkids.  All is not well with our nation– we have anger, division, violence, and strife; a breakdown of families, moral decay, and corruption.  All is not well with our world–nations are at war, we are destroying our environment, and all the progress that was supposed to make our lives easier seems to have made life more complicated and frantic, instead.

But all is well with my soul–not because of anything I have done or anything I do– peace and assurance are mine solely through the grace of God, which he gives in abundance.

Prayer does not bring peace automatically, nor does its haphazard and occasional practice guarantee instant or lasting peace.  Meditation, solitude, and other prayer-like exercises may bring a temporary calm, a respite, and a relief.  Closing our eyes and laying our burdens at his feet can bring the same feeling.  But prayer is more than just an exercise in making us feel better.  It isn’t meant to take us away from our circumstances, or to hand them off to God while we waltz away from our burdens.  Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  Coming to God in prayer doesn’t make burdens disappear.  But it does mean that we no longer carry them alone, and that gives us rest for our souls.  God is not in the business of making our lives easy, carefree, and comfortable.  But he promises that as we share our lives with him, trusting that his ways are good and righteous, he will not only come alongside and share our burden, he will teach us and give us rest.

This is why the pursuit of prayer is so important.  The discipline of daily and personal prayer teaches us how and where to find peace that lasts– peace that “passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:6-7).  Like the cool, refreshing water of a river soothes and gives life, so God’s grace flows into our lives as we walk and talk with him every day.

I wrote last time about that peace, and how it comes from having our hearts and minds “stayed” or fixed on Jehovah. It was modeled for us by Christ, who spent hours in prayer– in private prayer and praying with, for, and in front of others. Jesus often went into the wilderness to spent time alone with God– praying, meditating, and listening to His Father’s voice. As Peter encouraged the early believers, we are to be “..casting all (our) anxieties on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 ESV)

We don’t pray because we are already at peace. We pray because that is where we FIND peace!

Perfect Peace

We spent last weekend saying goodbye to my sister-in-law. NOT a final goodbye– more of a “see you later!” Wendy had suffered for years from both rheumatoid arthritis and stage four cancer. Many of her days were spent in agony, back and forth from hospital to home. In the middle of her battle, she had to say goodbye to her husband and navigate widowhood.

Perfect peace does not come from perfect circumstances. It does not come from willpower, or even positive thinking (notice that verse 7 precedes verse 8 in the passage above!) It comes from having your mind “stayed” on the great I AM. Not just thinking about Him in passing, or knowing a vast amount about Him, but keeping your focus and thoughts directed to Him. Peace is a by-product of a close and constant relationship with the one who is the “Prince of Peace” and the author of “shalom.”

We cannot generate perfect peace within ourselves because we are not perfect. We are not Holy, Righteous, or complete. But God is! And Paul’s advice to the Philippian believers above was written, not from peaceful surroundings, but from prison! His advice begins with prayer! Pray about everything! We can pray prayers of supplication (asking for healing, help, wisdom, direction, etc.) WITH thanksgiving– not because our circumstances are wonderful, or even because we expect God to work miracles to change our circumstances. We can thank and praise God from prison, from hospital beds or homeless shelters, refugee camps, storm shelters, blizzards, hurricane-battered houses, or sinking ships. Because God’s promises are faithful and true. They may not look like what we expect, imagine, or even hope for. They will involve pain and suffering because we still live in a broken world. God may bring us out of suffering, or help us avoid suffering, or He may settle in with us through the suffering. In every case, we can fix our eyes on the one who loves us perfectly, the one who has perfect power over every circumstance, perfect wisdom and vision to lead us through, and perfect plans for redemption, healing, hope, and eternal joy!

Wendy wasn’t perfect in this life. Suffering hurts. Pain ravages the body, and preys on the mind. Sleepless nights, loss of appetite, and nausea when one eats– such things cause us to cry out, to lament, and to ask “Why?!” Wendy did all that. But when we choose to focus less on the temporary trials of this life and look beyond to the greater story of redemption and ultimate glory, there is a peace that revives us, refreshes us, and strengthens us beyond what we can imagine. God is trustworthy– We can depend on Him when all around us is chaos and suffering. We can have hope and strength and blessed peace!

And that same peace is available to all of us who grieved for Wendy during her long illness. It sustains us with hope and strength that rises above the questions or doubts, beyond the tears and the memories of the past. We will have the joy of seeing Wendy (and many of our other family and loved ones) perfected. No more suffering; no more questions; no more separation. Perfect. Peace.

My challenge today is to stay focused on what really matters– on WHO is really in control. I pray that whatever you may be going through, that you will also find God’s perfect peace as you look to Him!

Prayers for Healing

My family has prayed for years that my sister-in-law would be healed. She fought a pitched battle with cancer at the same time as she suffered from severe rheumatoid arthritis. Her bones and body were twisted, and she was in a lot of pain. Several days ago, she “lost” her battle and died at age 62. God didn’t give her the miraculous healing we hoped for. God let her suffer for years and then took her from us.

But is all that really true? Did she really “lose”? She lost the daily struggle of her earthly life. She lost the future years with her grown children, her siblings, her nieces and nephews, cousins and friends. And yes, God took her away from those of us who remain to mourn her passing from this life. But she is reunited with her husband and her father, and all those who died before. She is in the presence of the baby brother she never met. Most of all, she is standing, pain-free and glorified, before the very God who heard every prayer, felt every ache, and saw every tear drop.

Healing doesn’t always look like we imagine. Years ago, a close friend of ours got a diagnosis of non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. She underwent experimental treatment and it went horribly wrong. While it killed many of the “bad” cells, it also killed some of her healthy cells and muscle tissue along her neck and throat. She eventually lost the ability to talk, to hold up her head, and to swallow solid food. She seemed to waste away right before our eyes. We all prayed for her to be healed and to have good health restored, but her decline was slow, agonizing, and final. Another friend, a schoolmate, died of cancer a few years ago, after hundreds of people had prayed for her healing. She had great faith, and great hope that she would be cured. But she, too, died. In spite of all the prayers, in spite of her great hope. Three precious women of faith; three lives cut short by pain and senseless suffering.

Pain and suffering challenges (and sometimes destroys) faith. But faith can also be strengthened, refined, and purified by suffering– whether we are suffering physically or mentally, suffering injustice or persecution. God does not abandon us in our struggles, and our pain does not bring Him pleasure. We may question why we suffer; we may even question why God allows suffering to continue. But God never leaves us. Even when we don’t feel relief; even when we don’t hear His voice.

Wendy, Jean, and Lena are great examples of women whose faith allowed them, even in the worst suffering, to feel joy and hope. They may have had moments of doubt, fear, or even anger. But each new day brought forth praise– praise for God’s love, for His beautiful creation, for His faithfulness in the past, AS WELL AS in the midst of their suffering. They saw God clearly– perhaps even more clearly– for their struggles. And they inspired others to hope and to rejoice! They endured much. They “fought the good fight and kept the faith” as Paul said in one of his last letters to Timothy (2 Timothy 4:7-8).

I hope that I write words that are true, encouraging, and strong. I’ve read beautiful tributes to God’s faithfulness from many other people as well. But words spoken by those who suffer speak more clearly and powerfully than words written in ease or quiet contemplation. Sometimes, they scream. But they make a deep and lasting impact on those who hear. And then those words testify to God’s glory and love…they echo for generations to come.

God absolutely answered every prayer we prayed over Wendy and over others who have suffered. His healing is not always what we want or expect. But it is eternal, powerful, and glorious. I fully expect to see Wendy (and so many other) completely healed and glorious someday. And all the grief, all the unanswered questions, all the “what ifs…” that I wrestle with now will be wiped away in an instant.

We are blessed to pray for those who need healing. And, in some cases, God answers with miracles we can’t explain. Sometimes, He answers with pain and grief we can’t explain. But we continue to pray. Because healing, whether in this life or the next, is something only God can do perfectly. He heals broken bodies, grieving hearts, and troubled minds. He heals the past, redeems the present, and promises a glorious eternity with Him!

Praise Be to Jehovah Rophe– The God who heals!

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