Be Reconciled

23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5:23-24 (ESV)
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Why do we find it so difficult to be reconciled? We crave God’s forgiveness, but we withhold our own toward our neighbors, or family members. We let anger and bitterness keep us apart. We let pride keep us from doing what we know is right in God’s eyes.

I speak from conviction. I have been estranged from a cousin of mine. Years have passed since we’ve spoken. We argued about something, and simply stopped talking. I tell myself that I have nothing for which to apologize–that’s just the way things ended. And my life is far less stressful since we’ve stopped talking. I do not “hate” my cousin, or feel bitter toward her. In fact, I tell myself that I only wish her the best– I just don’t want to be involved in her life, or have her involved in mine.

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I know this is not what God wants. I know I should get in touch, and reassure her that “we’re okay”. Yet I am afraid to reach out and re-establish contact. Not because she poses any sort of physical threat, but she threatens my pride and my comfort. I find her difficult to talk to; difficult to understand. We have different ideas about boundaries and expectations–I find her “needy,” and she finds me “aloof.” I don’t think time will have made our relationship “easier.”

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But God finds her precious in His sight– and worthy of my effort to reconcile our relationship. That doesn’t mean that I must allow her to manipulate me or abuse my emotions, or that I must demand that she be someone she is not to make me more comfortable. But it does mean that I may be embarrassed or inconvenienced at times. I need to be willing to listen, even when it is difficult, and so speak, even when it seems like I’ve said the same thing before. And it means that I must learn to set healthy boundaries and insist on them– not to shut her out as I have been doing, but to keep our relationship balanced and safe for both of us.

God puts a great premium on our willingness to be reconciled to one another. So much so, that Jesus told His listeners in the Sermon on the Mount, that if they were ready to bring an offering, and they remembered that someone had something against them, that they should leave their offering– unoffered– and go be reconciled first. Being at odds with others puts us at odds with their Creator and the One who loves them. Whenever possible, we should seek to reconcile. Broken relationships are sometimes a reflection of our relationship with Him. It hinders our prayer life, as well as our witness to the Power of God to redeem and reconcile the world around us.

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God is aware that we are sinful people. And there are some relationships that are absolutely toxic. Reconciliation and forgiveness are NEVER about allowing another person to continue to abuse or manipulate you. Especially if this involves physical or sexual abuse. Forgiveness is not the same as accepting someone else’s manipulation or abuse. God, and only God, can redeem us and make us a new creation. Some relationships cannot be fully “reconciled” in this life. But “letting go” is not the same as “locking out” or “running away.” We must let others know that God can do what we cannot–He can restore broken relationships. He can make all things new.

Testimony

Yesterday at church we were challenged to share our testimony. I have shared my testimony several times, but I haven’t shared it in this space in a long while (if ever), so here goes:

When I was about 4 1/2 years old, I became a big sister. I was excited about this, but after my younger sister arrived, I had a terrible time with jealousy and resentment. She was tiny and adorable, and she had my Dad’s blue eyes (they later changed to a greenish/hazel color like mine, but everyone commented on her eyes, and never on mine). One day, filled with this resentment, I made a rather impulsive decision to poke my sister in the eye with a sharp stick. At that age, I wasn’t completely aware of the danger and damage I would have done, but I still knew it was wrong. I didn’t succeed– my mother caught me in time and got a stern talking-to about what had almost happened. Not wanting to face punishment and Mom’s anger, I burst into tears and said I was sorry. Surely a show of remorse would make everything all right. That’s how it worked on television, and it had worked for me that way in the past.

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But this time was different. Mom was frightened by what might have happened, and unimpressed with my tears. She explained quite clearly that what I had attempted could have ended in disaster, and that no amount of “sorry” would have undone my action. I had to face punishment (probably less severe than I deserved, but it felt awful at the time). She also explained that she was both frightened of and disappointed in my action. She would tell my father, who would also be ashamed of my behavior. Now I was truly frightened. What if Mom and Dad never got over their disappointment? What if they stopped loving me? Not only that, but Jesus had seen everything: He knew what I had been about to do and WHY! I had learned about Jesus in Sunday School. He was kind and gentle and loved all the little children. What if He stopped loving me after He saw what I did? What if I had succeeded in hurting my sister and it could never be made right? What if I said I was sorry, and no one believed me? Even Jesus?

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I can still remember the feelings of terror and shame– that kind and gentle and Holy Jesus might be disgusted with me; that my resentment and anger had separated me from Him, and that I could not “undo” it or “sorry” my way out of it. Certainly, I was coming to realize that He had (through my mom) stopped me from completing my evil plan –WHEW!– but He KNEW that I would have done it. And I wouldn’t have been sorry for my jealousy, or for my sister’s pain in that moment. Not really sorry. I recognized in that moment that I wasn’t a nice person or a good or righteous person. If Jesus loved me, I didn’t deserve it.

Mom must have seen the change in me, because she stopped and took the time to walk me through the lessons I was still learning in Sunday School. We are all sinners, and unworthy of the love and blessing of a Holy God. Yet Jesus came and offered to love us– to love us SO much that He was willing to die to remove the sting and shame of Sin and its consequences. And Jesus’ love is SO powerful that it can take a rotten, sinful heart and cleanse it completely. Mom and Dad could love and forgive me. But it would involve more than just saying, “I’m sorry.” I had to mean it. I had to choose to let Jesus take control of my resentment, and my wrong thinking, and ask Him for forgiveness. In fact, only Jesus can offer complete and everlasting forgiveness! I am not a righteous person; others can see that I am not a righteous person– yet Jesus can see me, not as I have been, but as I can be– perfected through Him! I asked Jesus to do just that– to come into my heart; to live in and through me; to renew me and change my mind and heart to be more like His.

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Jesus Loves ME– this I KNOW
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong.
They are weak, but He is strong!

I had sung this song many times, but now it made sense to me in an entirely new way. That was over 50 years ago, and I must admit that I have had moments of failure and embarrassment; times when I have chosen my own will and emotions over what I know to be right. I have had moments of doubting whether Jesus could still love me after things I’ve said and done. But time after time, I come back to that simple truth that Jesus, for reasons I cannot explain or fully understand, Loves Me– He Really Loves Me! His offer of forgiveness isn’t phony or conditional or limited. Not because I deserve unconditional love or a thousand “second chances.” Simply because HE LOVES ME!

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And He Loves You, too! Right now, right where you are, just as you are– He Loves You! Whether you’ve never known that, or been sure of that, or whether you’ve had moments of doubt because of something you’ve said or done (or left undone or said)–Jesus Loves You! And He wants to give you a New heart and a New Life– one that is free of lingering shame and fear; one that is eternal and filled with joy and peace!

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That is my testimony. That is what I know from experience to be true of God– more true than anything else in the world.

Praying Scripture

This is not a great secret or a new discovery, but a reminder that we can “pray” the Scriptures. Sometimes, we do this in corporate prayer, as in a congregation reciting “The Lord’s Prayer” together. But often, it is when we are reading God’s word, or a particular verse haunts our memory that we echo the words in our prayer life. There are so many benefits from this:

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  • We are joining in a great tradition– much of Scripture records the prayers of the patriarchs and of Jesus Himself. When we echo those words, we affirm them–both to God and to ourselves.
  • We are praying in the light of the truth–God’s own words on our lips can keep us from trying to put our words in God’s voice!
  • We are deepening our understanding and experience of Scripture– making it personal, rather than just a learning exercise or a daily duty.
  • We are deepening our experience of Prayer– it is more than just me talking to God. It is me agreeing with God’s Word, and God’s Word literally speaking through me.
  • We are reminded of what prayer can do– many of the prayers of Scripture are followed by answers, from prophecies to miracles to movements of the Holy Spirit.
  • We are reminded that God answers prayer that is consistent with His will– not all Biblical prayers were answered in the ways that their petitioners hoped or expected!

The Bible is full of wonderful examples of prayers. Here are just a few to get started:

  • Abraham’s prayer for God to spare Sodom in Genesis 18 (v. 23-32).
  • Moses praying for God to forgive Israel’s sin and disbelief in Exodus 32 (v. 31-32)
  • Moses praying for a successor to lead Israel into the Promised Land (Numbers 27:16-17)
  • Gideon’s prayer for guidance in Judges 6
  • Manoah’s prayer for help in raising his son Samson in Judges 13
  • David’s prayer in 2 Samuel 7 (v.18-29)
  • Elijah’s prayer for God to send fire from Heaven in 1 Kings 18 (v.36-37)
  • Several of the Psalms, including 3, 51, 90, 102, 103, 105, and many others.
  • Hezekiah’s prayer for God to save Israel from their enemies in Isaiah 37 ( v.16-20)
  • The prayer of Jebez in 1 Chronicles 4:10
  • Habakkuk’s prayer for revival in Habakkuk 3: 2-19
  • Jesus’ prayer in Matthew 11:25
  • Jesus’ prayer for His disciples (John 17)
  • Jesus’ prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:39-44)
  • Jesus’ prayer from the cross in Luke 23:34
  • Stephen’s prayer in Acts 7:59-60
  • Prayer of worship in Heaven in Revelation 5:13

https://christian.net/resources/the-top-most-powerful-prayers-in-the-bible/

In addition, Bible passages that describe the Character and Majesty of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit can be used as prayers of worship and adoration. Bible stories and events can be lifted up in worship of God’s power and faithfulness through the ages. Jesus’ teachings (such as the Beatitudes) can be lifted up as the desire of our hearts, and as requests for the strength and wisdom to follow Him.

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Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.

Jude 1:24-25

Blessed Are the Peacemakers..

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.” (Matthew 5:9)

Matthew 5:9

We live in a time of conflict. Wars, protests, upheaval, domestic violence, gangs, shootings, and more leave us praying for peace.

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Today is a reminder of violence. “Good Friday” is filled with reminders of torture, injustice, and brutal death on a cross. There is almost nothing about this day that suggests “Peace.” And yet, it is because of this day, and this cruel and violent death, that WE can have peace with God. Jesus made peace for us by suffering at the hands of corrupt and brutal men. He could have fought back. He could have called down legions of angels to avenge each cut and bruise He suffered. With a breath or a single word, He could have slain the entire Roman Empire, freed the nation of Israel, and claimed victory and “peace.” He could have avoided the violence of beatings and death. He could have appealed to Pilate, who already was inclined to release Him. He could have argued with the Sanhedrin, or said whatever they required to secure His pardon and avoid the cross. He could have run away in the Garden, and stayed hidden and given up His ministry for safety and “peace.” But He didn’t. He didn’t fight back, He didn’t argue, He didn’t plead. He healed the ear of one of His arresting officers. He welcomed one of the thieves crucified next to Him into the Kingdom of God. He made provision for His mother’s well-being. He forgave those who accused Him and crucified Him–even from the Cross!

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Jesus said that those who make peace will be called the children of God. Not those who seek peace– those who make peace. There is a difference. We tend to seek peace through avoidance. We isolate, insulate, hibernate and alienate, all in attempting to find peace. We avoid conflict. We avoid attachments that might cause us heartbreak or betrayal. Even in our prayers (and I’m speaking from personal experience), we ask for peace without pain or involvement. We want God to shower us with peace and protection, but we don’t ask for the courage or the strength to “make” peace.

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Making peace involves reaching out, taking risks, being willing to suffer misunderstanding, conflict, and injustice. It means that we will “take up our cross” and be willing to die to our own comfort and safety for the sake of Christ. That does not mean that we are to be combative, aggressive, abusive, or contemptuous. But, like Jesus, we are to stand firm, even as we offer open arms to those who disagree with us, mock us, even persecute us. True peace is a gift–first from God, and passed on to others who do not deserve it. It is a gift of Grace and Love. The Children of God should be makers of peace, not avoiders of conflict. We need to meet violence and aggression with strength of purpose and positive action. And that should be reflected in our prayer life as well.

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How can I make peace today through prayer and service? What cross can I bear for the sake of Christ, and the Cross He bore for me?

Blessed Are the Pure in Heart..

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8)

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10)

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I’ve been looking through the Beatitudes and how they relate to prayer. Jesus said that the pure in heart are blessed, for they shall “see God.” Have you ever spoken to someone who wasn’t looking at you? They looked past you, or around you, or down at their device, but they didn’t attempt to make or maintain eye contact. It can be disconcerting, and even rude. And yet, there are times when, with our divided hearts, we come into prayer without really looking for, or at, God.

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At other times, our hearts cloud our vision, giving us a distorted view of God. We harbor sin or guilt, and we see God as unforgiving or unfair. We are holding on to our own will, and we see God as restrictive or demanding.

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The pure in heart see God as He really is– Glorious, Merciful, Wise, and Just. They see evidence of His lovingkindness and faithfulness all around them. They see themselves through His eyes– beloved and forgiven–and they see others through the eyes of Grace.

This is not our natural state. We are NOT pure in heart. We are self-centered, self-absorbed, and self-conscious. King David recognized this profoundly when he was caught in his great sin of adultery and murder. In his own lust and selfishness, he had seduced the wife of another man, and when she became pregnant, David arranged to cover up the first sin–by having the man murdered. David was not a notorious scoundrel. He was even called, “a man after God’s own heart.” But when he was confronted with his guilt, David “saw” himself as he really was– not a victim of circumstance, or a martyr to passion, or a king who was above the law, but a man who had committed evil against others, and against a Holy and Sovereign God.

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David’s prayer was in line with his vision. Not only did he see himself as he really was; he saw God as HE really is: Holy and Just, but willing and able to restore David’s purity of heart. David’s God is the same today as He ever was. He longs to make us clean; to restore to us the joy of our salvation (see Psalm 51:12), and give us the power to pursue our purpose and leave our past sins behind.

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When we desire to “see God,” we must desire this cleansing and restoration of purity. We can pray without it, but we cannot look at a Holy God with an unclean spirit. All we can do is look elsewhere– talking to the wall or the floor. God still hears us, but he wants to have a real conversation; one full of intimacy and understanding.

So, today, will I make “eye contact” during my prayer time?

Blessed Are the Poor In Spirit

I want to spend some time this month exploring the Beatitudes and how they relate to our prayer life. Today I want to look at Matthew 5:3: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.”

How do I approach God’s throne of Grace? Do I come with a list of what I want, and what I’ve accomplished for God? Do I come reluctantly, grudgingly, holding back some part of who I am or who I have been? Do I come flaunting my self-righteousness? Or do I come empty of all but my desire to be in the Presence of my Maker?

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Many people have interpreted (and misinterpreted) this phrase. Jesus does not insist that we be financially destitute, or drained of all enthusiasm or emotion. But He does require that we come recognizing our need of Him. We may not be physically needy in the moment– we may be well-fed, comfortable, or even wealthy by human standards. But we are all in need of God’s presence and His provision. On my own, I may believe that I have earned all that I seem to possess, but I cannot supply the air that I breathe, or guarantee that my health will remain perfect, or that I will be able to keep what I think I own, or force others to accept or respect me. “Man supposes, but God disposes” is an old phrase, but an accurate one.

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When I approach God in prayer, no matter how rich or poor I may seem, I am dependent on God for everything. And this is true for every one of us. So I don’t approach God as someone “needier” or “less needy” than my neighbor. And I don’t approach God with any power to bargain or demand, or even to request– except that God has invited me and sought me out in His Love and Mercy!

And this is the rest of the Beatitude– “for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.” God has opened up Heaven and invited me to walk with Him, to learn from Him, to receive His blessings, and to live with Him throughout eternity. His riches! His Glory! His Presence! Every time I pray, I trade my poverty for God’s bounty. I trade my confession for His forgiveness. I trade my helplessness for His Wisdom and Power to triumph over adversity and confusion, grief and doubt, sickness and lack.

It is when I come to Christ believing that I possess or control all that I suppose to be “mine,” that I lose the Blessing of His sufficiency and His perfection.

“Thank you, God of Mercy, and Ruler of All, for the privilege of coming to you. I come empty and spent–show me where I am holding on to something less than You, or trying to claim Your wealth as my own. Teach me to rest in the sufficiency of Your kingdom, even as I continue to serve you here on earth.”

Do You Love Me?

15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” 
He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. 18 Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” 19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

John 21:15-19 (NIV)
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Today is Valentine’s Day, and many people will be saying, “I love you,” or asking, “Do you love me?” And many others will reply, “Yes, I love you,” or “I love you, too!” Cards and gifts may be exchanged; some couples will dine out or have romantic candlelit dinners at home. It is a day to celebrate love. There are thousands of poems and songs about love– ooey, gooey, gushy love; unrequited love; first love; true and lasting love; even “puppy” love.

But Valentine’s Day can also be a painful reminder– of lost love, betrayal, and loneliness. The story of Peter’s betrayal and reinstatement is not a “Valentine” story of romantic love, but it carries some lessons for today about love in general, and the Love of Christ in particular.

  • Love is a choice– freely given and freely accepted (apologies to Elvis Presley and others who have sung about not being able to help falling in love…) When Jesus first called Peter (and in the above passage as well) He simply asked Peter to “Follow me.” He made no demands, offered no bribes, used no intimidation. There is no long list of requirements or expectations; no bargaining; no “quid pro quo.” That said, Love is not a light-hearted or whimsical thing. Peter’s choice to love Christ, and to follow him cost him his life. Christ’s choice to love us led Him to humble Himself to death, even death on the cross (Philippians 2:8). Jesus could have escaped this fate several times over– He CHOSE to die for each of us!
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  • Love is more than just a feeling. “Follow me” demands an action and a commitment. There are many today who “love” the idea of Jesus; they love the parables, or the gospel story; they are in love with “love.” But the idea that “Love” is all you need (apologies to the Beatles) misses the mark. Feelings change; feelings are transitory and often dependent on circumstances. Love chooses to follow– even when the going gets rough; even when it is not convenient, even when it involves sacrifice.
  • Loving someone involves taking the risk of being hurt, denied, or betrayed. There is no Biblical passage describing the amount of hurt Jesus must have felt when Peter denied Him three times, or when Judas betrayed Him. The Biblical account tells us that Jesus already knew and predicted these two events, but how agonizing–every bit as painful as the nails in His hands and feet! Jesus loved those who spit at Him, abandoned Him, condemned Him, and persecuted Him. And we also see Peter in this passage being hurt at Jesus’ questioning him a third time; Peter was shocked and hurt when Jesus predicted his denial, and when Jesus said to him, “Get behind me, Satan.”(Matthew 16:23) Love is never free from risk– especially the imperfect love we have as humans.
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  • Love leads to restoration and forgiveness. Peter’s denial of Christ could have haunted him for the rest of his life. Had Jesus said nothing; done nothing to address this hurt, it would not have changed the fact that Peter was forgiven. But in publicly restoring Peter, Jesus made it clear that it was “all good” between them– Peter wasn’t just conditionally forgiven, he was completely restored!
  • Love is stronger than death! It is stronger than sin, or betrayal, denial, or hurt. Love is eternal and limitless, everlasting, and enduring. God IS Love and to know God is to know love. To speak to God and to hear His voice and read His Word is to converse with Love. Whether in the presence of saints on a mountaintop, in the midst of a raging storm, or on a quiet beach– Love is closer than our next breath, and more powerful than our deepest fear. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13: 8)

And that’s a love worth endless celebration!

Praying For the Past

I was thinking earlier this week about a past friendship– one that involved pain, abuse, and struggle. While we have moved on, and I hope we have both found peace and closure, there are still memories, both good and bad. The past has a way of popping up at odd moments, and sometimes, it pops up in pain.

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Prayer isn’t really about the past. What’s past is gone– but it can be redeemed. That is the Good News of the Bible. God is about redeeming our past, and transforming our present and future. When Jesus prayed, and when He taught His disciples to pray, He never mentioned the past. So what do we do with the past when it comes to prayer?

While I don’t have any complete or definitive answer to that, I do have a few thoughts:

  • Don’t wallow in the past. If Jesus has redeemed you, He has redeemed your past as well. Rejoice and be thankful for this incredible gift! We can’t erase the past, but we don’t have to keep living there.
  • Focus on the present, and give both your past and your future into His hands. It’s easy to say, and to write, but it takes time and effort and the work of the Holy Spirit to continue to do this. It’s a daily task!
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If you are still bothered by aspects of your past, ask for wisdom to do the following:

  • Pray for wisdom to learn from the past–both your mistakes, and situations you have had to face.
  • Pray for courage to face the past– to apologize, to make atonement, or to rebuild relationships where possible, and the courage to let go of situations you cannot “fix.”
  • Pray for those people and situations that were part of your past–acknowledge them, and lift them up before God’s Throne of Grace.
  • Pray for release from lingering feelings of guilt, and lingering temptations to return to past behaviors and/or toxic relationships.
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The past can be powerful in shaping our present and future. God knows this, but He wants to remind us that He is MORE powerful! That doesn’t mean that we will sail through the present, or that we won’t carry scars from our past. But those scars are not the whole of our story, any more than the grave is the end of it.

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Revelation 21:5 (NIV)

Whiter Than Snow

Today, I am choosing to be thankful for snow. I don’t really like driving in it, or shoveling it, but there are some wonderful things about snow. God made it– in fact, the Bible says He has storehouses full of it (Job 38:22)! So what are some of the wonders of snow?

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  • Snow acts as a natural insulator of soil, roots, and underground bulbs and plants. When temperatures plummet, the snow acts as a blanket, protecting all that lies below ground.
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  • Snow– especially new-fallen, clean snow, reflects light and brightens the landscape. With less natural sunlight, this is very important, not just for plants, but for people. Physical and mental health is enhanced when we get adequate amounts of light. Visibility is also enhanced– even at night!– when there is a snowy ground-cover.
  • Snow is a better way to add moisture to the air and ground in winter–when winter rainfall freezes, it is much heavier and more dangerous than snowfall.
  • Snow can be fun! Skiing, sledding, making snowmen, and snow forts– it’s not just fun for children.
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  • Snow can be good for business! Ski resorts, plowing services, parks with cross-country ski trails, and many others depend on snow.
  • Snow accumulates– especially in mountainous regions– and refreshes rivers and lakes as it melts in the spring. Running water from snowmelts feed brooks and streams, and replenishes underground springs and wells as it seeps in. In this way, God gently wakes up mountainside forests and glens, turning them from white (or gray) to vibrant green.
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  • Snow is beautiful! (Especially if I don’t have to drive in it or shovel it.) It glistens on the bare tree branches and settles in mounds on the fields. It sparkles in the moonlight and glories in the sunrise. It delights us as it dances on the air, swirling and hovering and settling on our eyelashes or fingertips, only to melt away like a dream. We hear often about the marvel of snowflakes– each one is completely unique in its design and makeup. We may even take it for granted– especially after a particularly large snowstorm! But God chooses to lavishly pour out His creativity and love into each tiny flake that falls to the ground and melts with a mere breath. How much more does He pour out His love on each one of us!
  • God uses snow as a metaphor for His forgiveness. See Psalm 51:7, Isaiah 1:18. “Snow” white is considered pure, radiant, and refreshing. In just such a way, God can take our failures and mistakes, and replace them with His righteousness, making us pure, radiant, and able to be refreshed and to offer refreshment to others!
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Praying “Seventy Times Seven”

The Apostle Peter once asked Jesus if he should forgive someone up to seven times. He seemed to feel this was generous and even noble, but Jesus said that Peter should be willing to forgive someone “seventy times seven” times (or seventy-seven times! (for an excellent discussion on this exchange, see https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/why-is-seventy-times-seven-still-so-radical-today.html. For the context, see Matthew 18.)

The same applies to praying for someone. I know many people who ask for prayer almost daily –often for the same “little” problems or complaints. The selfish, human part of me sometimes wants to judge what is “worthy” of my prayer, and what is not. But this is not for me to judge. Other people are too proud to ask for prayer. That does not make them better or stronger people, or less “needy” of my prayers. I need to be willing to pray for everyone as I have the opportunity: that includes when they request my prayers (over and over) or when they refuse to share their needs at all. Someone who is struggling with ongoing issues needs my compassion and wisdom, not my judgment. Someone who resents my prayers needs my compassion and wisdom, too. We are to pray without ceasing, not just when we think it is “worth” doing. (see 1 Thessalonians 5:17)

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There is a caveat here. My prayer life should not be determined by others’ expectations. I should gladly pray for the person who asks; however, I should NOT let someone else determine how or what I should pray. In other words, if someone is asking me to pray for “healing,” I will gladly lift up their situation and leave it in God’s hands. I will ask God to heal that person according to His will and in His timing. If they are asking me to pray for total instant healing, I will still pray, but I won’t demand of God what is not His will to do. If they are asking me to pray that they win the lottery because they gambled away their rent money, or avoid prosecution for a crime they committed, I will not pray for things that so clearly contradict God’s will. If someone else is telling me not to pray for them, I will not promise NOT to pray at all, but I will not insist that they listen in; nor will I pray that God “fix” them as I would like. I will pray for their safety, healing, well-being, etc.– again, according to God’s will and timing. Some people are afraid that I will pray for them to be saved against their will. Some people think that because I pursue prayer as a lifestyle, that I have an “in” with God– that He will do what I ask, when I ask, because it is me asking. That is not how God, or prayer, operates. I have seen God do miracles, but I have also asked Him for healing that never came in this lifetime, or for things that turned out very differently than I expected. And I have prayed for the salvation of others, but I don’t have the power or authority to change their will or pierce their conscience– that is the work of the Holy Spirit.

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Sometimes, it is difficult to keep praying for the same stubborn person, or the same unresolved situation. When God doesn’t answer us how or when we expect, it can seem as though He isn’t listening, doesn’t care, or even taunts us with silence and frustration. It can be tempting to give up– to think that our prayers are “not working.” But, once again, that is not how God, or prayer, “work.” Often, while we are staring at the situation that doesn’t seem to change, we miss seeing the changes happening in other areas of our life, or the obstacles that are being cleared from our path going forward. This is true of prayers we lift up for others, as it is for ourselves. We continue praying anyway. Sometimes, prayer changes our outlook– sometimes prayer even ends up changing how we pray! Prayer isn’t about getting what we want; it’s about getting closer to the heart of God!

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So, if we are willing, we can keep praying–seventy-seven days in a row! Even 490 days! Not because God is counting the days or keeping score of our faithfulness, but because we know that God is faithful in ways we cannot see with out limited vision, or know with our limited understanding.

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