The Apostle Peter once asked Jesus if he should forgive someone up to seven times. He seemed to feel this was generous and even noble, but Jesus said that Peter should be willing to forgive someone “seventy times seven” times (or seventy-seven times! (for an excellent discussion on this exchange, see https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/why-is-seventy-times-seven-still-so-radical-today.html. For the context, see Matthew 18.)
The same applies to praying for someone. I know many people who ask for prayer almost daily –often for the same “little” problems or complaints. The selfish, human part of me sometimes wants to judge what is “worthy” of my prayer, and what is not. But this is not for me to judge. Other people are too proud to ask for prayer. That does not make them better or stronger people, or less “needy” of my prayers. I need to be willing to pray for everyone as I have the opportunity: that includes when they request my prayers (over and over) or when they refuse to share their needs at all. Someone who is struggling with ongoing issues needs my compassion and wisdom, not my judgment. Someone who resents my prayers needs my compassion and wisdom, too. We are to pray without ceasing, not just when we think it is “worth” doing. (see 1 Thessalonians 5:17)
There is a caveat here. My prayer life should not be determined by others’ expectations. I should gladly pray for the person who asks; however, I should NOT let someone else determine how or what I should pray. In other words, if someone is asking me to pray for “healing,” I will gladly lift up their situation and leave it in God’s hands. I will ask God to heal that person according to His will and in His timing. If they are asking me to pray for total instant healing, I will still pray, but I won’t demand of God what is not His will to do. If they are asking me to pray that they win the lottery because they gambled away their rent money, or avoid prosecution for a crime they committed, I will not pray for things that so clearly contradict God’s will. If someone else is telling me not to pray for them, I will not promise NOT to pray at all, but I will not insist that they listen in; nor will I pray that God “fix” them as I would like. I will pray for their safety, healing, well-being, etc.– again, according to God’s will and timing. Some people are afraid that I will pray for them to be saved against their will. Some people think that because I pursue prayer as a lifestyle, that I have an “in” with God– that He will do what I ask, when I ask, because it is me asking. That is not how God, or prayer, operates. I have seen God do miracles, but I have also asked Him for healing that never came in this lifetime, or for things that turned out very differently than I expected. And I have prayed for the salvation of others, but I don’t have the power or authority to change their will or pierce their conscience– that is the work of the Holy Spirit.
Sometimes, it is difficult to keep praying for the same stubborn person, or the same unresolved situation. When God doesn’t answer us how or when we expect, it can seem as though He isn’t listening, doesn’t care, or even taunts us with silence and frustration. It can be tempting to give up– to think that our prayers are “not working.” But, once again, that is not how God, or prayer, “work.” Often, while we are staring at the situation that doesn’t seem to change, we miss seeing the changes happening in other areas of our life, or the obstacles that are being cleared from our path going forward. This is true of prayers we lift up for others, as it is for ourselves. We continue praying anyway. Sometimes, prayer changes our outlook– sometimes prayer even ends up changing how we pray! Prayer isn’t about getting what we want; it’s about getting closer to the heart of God!
So, if we are willing, we can keep praying–seventy-seven days in a row! Even 490 days! Not because God is counting the days or keeping score of our faithfulness, but because we know that God is faithful in ways we cannot see with out limited vision, or know with our limited understanding.