Language Matters

I’m not talking about English v Spanish or French or Urdu, but our ‘language’ very much matters. The words we choose to say make a difference. They reveal much more than just what we’re thinking or feeling. They reveal character.

When I was in college, I lived in a dorm that was co-ed by suite. That meant that two freshmen boys lived across the hall from my roommate and me (both seniors). They were nice guys, but their language was often crude. Once, I spoke to one of them about his use of the “F” word. He responded by digging up a typed-up sheet singing the praises of that word. It was versatile– it could be a noun, a verb, an adjective, or an exclamation! It had a long history, tracing back to Medieval English usage. It carried power and shock value. People like me were prudes, afraid of using powerful words and intimidated by traditional moral codes and “language snobs” who judged others. After all, we lived in America, d*** it! The land of free speech. Who was I to try to make him feel bad about his words?!

On the surface, he wasn’t wrong. The word is not “illegal”; it poses no immediate threat or danger. It is not a word meant to belittle or “cancel” its hearers, like an ethnic or racial epithet. What was the harm? Who was I to lecture him? His roommate stood by and said nothing, but his own language hadn’t been much better. Was I wrong to say anything? I was only a few years older, and a fellow college student? Was I just being prudish? It wasn’t as if he had told racist jokes or called me a crude name? What was the big deal? It was one four-letter word.

But it reveals something about the character of the person who makes a habit of sprinkling such words in their conversations. It says that their “freedom” to use such words is of greater value than their respect for their listeners. It says that the speaker chooses not to practice self-control over their speech (and likely over other parts of their life). It may reveal sloppy or lazy thinking and a weak vocabulary. And, whether we like it or not, it labels us; people will judge us based on how we speak, and on the words we choose. Even though celebrities and professors use such language. Even if such language is considered popular and even “cool.” And it encompasses all of our word choices–blasphemy and crude language, negativity in our speech, bragging and boasting, a propensity for gossip and smearing the reputations of others, lying and ‘stretching the truth’– the list goes on. Just because we CAN say something doesn’t make it wise or helpful or powerful or “right.”

^3-5A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! ^5-6It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. ^7-10This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!^10-12My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you? ^13-16Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here’s what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn’t wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn’t wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn’t wisdom. It’s the furthest thing from wisdom—it’s animal cunning, devilish plotting. Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats. ^17-18Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. (James 3:3-18 –The Message)

This “taming of the tongue” is especially problematic for the one who wishes to pursue Holiness and Christlikeness. The Apostle James, in his epistle, spends almost an entire chapter discussing the issue of purity in speech (or lack thereof)! He compares it to taming a wild beast or trying to put out a raging fire. Because careless language can do as much damage as deliberate malicious or violent action. Passing along gossip may seem fun in the moment, but it can ruin an innocent reputation, AND cause people to lose trust in your ability to keep privacy, or respect others. Crude language may seem empowering and brave the first few times you use it, but it becomes habitual and attaches to your character. Snide remarks about others– social or ethnic groups, people who vote differently than you, annoying neighbors with a different ‘accent’– may seem offhand and innocuous, but they reveal your pride, lack of respect, and inability to live in peace and harmony. You become known for your ‘salty’ dialogue or your sarcastic “zingers”. You use certain words more and more often until they lose all the ‘power’ they once had to shock or intimidate. Opportunities to speak up on important matters may be given to others who can control their professional and responsible use of language. Not because your thoughts lack purpose or power, but because you show everyone that you lack the power to choose words wisely for maximum influence, peacefulness, and persuasion. And for the Christian who has developed the habit of taking the Lord’s name ‘loosely’, it lessens the impact of your witness that Christ is really your beloved Lord and King. He’s just another character whose name and reputation you toss around carelessly.

James makes a very real point in his letter– NO ONE can tame the tongue. It is natural and human to repeat words we hear, words that seem so convenient, so simple. Only with the help of the Holy Spirit can we ‘re-wire’ our brains and our tongues to speak words that give honor to others, Glory to God, and reflect wisdom and discipline that we are receiving from God Himself. We won’t always get it right– especially if we do not develop discipline in our speech. And we can’t do it at all without deliberate effort and dependence on the Spirit’s help

But language DOES matter. The guy across the hall in the memory above– we never saw eye to eye about this issue, though we remained friends. But his roommate surprised me many weeks after the above interaction. He was introducing me to one of his classmates, and the other young man started telling a story laced with profanity. My young friend stopped his buddy mid-sentence and challenged him to mind his language. “She’s a lady. She doesn’t appreciate that kind of language.” His friend seemed surprised, but he immediately cleaned up his words. And I’m almost positive it wasn’t because I gave off “Lady” vibes of any kind. I don’t even think it related directly to the incident above with the other roommate. My friend had listened to my roommate and I– he had taken note of the way we spoke, and the way we DIDN’T speak. He knew we were Christians, and that we didn’t just “talk the talk”– our lives and our language showed that we wanted to honor God above all. And when he heard his friend speaking in my presence– there was a huge mismatch. He could hear the difference immediately. He didn’t demand the “right” to use (or force me to listen to) foul language. Instead, he started to see (and hear) the wisdom and even the power of self-control.

This holds true for prayer, as well. Not that most of us use profanity in our prayer life. But how often do we use words that are negative, doubtful, selfish, or envious? Do we pay careful attention to the very words we bring before the King of Kings and our Loving Savior? Do we try to wheedle and plead instead of presenting our requests to God with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6-7)? Do we approach God as “the man upstairs” or my “Father, who are in Heaven” (Matthew 6:9)? Is He my heavenly honcho, or the Eternally Holy One and the Victorious Lamb of God?

Today I pray that my speech would reflect the Love, Wisdom, and Power of God. We are to be “salt and light” (see Matthew 5:13-16), not “salty.” Our words can bring encouragement, hope, joy, peace, empowerment, and yes, even conviction to others! But we must tame the tendency to use careless words that bring destruction, conflict, arrogance, or insult. And we must reflect on how our words reflect our heart for God– especially when we use them to pray!

September 23, 2026 0

The “Fake” Good News

I keep hearing about, and seeing reports of “Fake” News. Even the term “Fake” News is somewhat misleading–is it news? Is it False News? Is it “fake” because it never happened, or because it has been exaggerated or taken out of context? Or because it doesn’t say what I want it to say? How do I know what is “real” news anymore?

The biggest problem with “Fake” news is that it “feels” real, true, and important. In reality, it may be none of those things. Yet there if often a kernel of fact, or a dusting of truth that makes it hard to disprove or dispel. And, if it had already been accepted as legitimate news by thousands, it’s even harder to stop it from being spread.

But the more insidious problem with “fake” news is the time wasted trying to sort truth from fiction, and plain fact from exaggeration and distortion. If my friend sends me an article, or a video, or a photo, I may accept it as true on the strength of my friendship. But what if they’re just passing it on from another source? What if I see it from a recognized news source? Do I dare question it? And if so, where do I turn to verify it? There are several fact-checking websites, but even they have biases that cause them to weigh facts differently in various situations. Whatever assumptions we used to hold about “neutral” reporting have been proved wrong. We are being conditioned to trust none of what we hear and less than half of what we see!

What about the “Good” News that Christians carry into the world? Is it like the “Fake” news we see on TV or read about on our tablets? And if someone challenges our faith in God’s word, how can we prove that the Gospel is not “Fake”, and that our Faith is not just more hype with smoke and mirrors? If we are pursuing prayer, shouldn’t we be confident that our prayers are not in vain and that our faith is sound?

The claim of “Fake” news makes an assumption that there is such a thing as “True” news. Similarly, saying the Gospel is “Fake” assumes that there is an alternate truth. But the real burden of proof is on those who want to push for the alternative. The truths of the Bible have been time-tested, and shown to be real. The challenges I hear most often are to the exceptions, not the rule. I don’t hear anyone saying that “Thou shalt not steal” is a “fake” morality. Instead, I hear that, “Christianity is fake because I know Christians who cheat and steal.” I don’t hear people claim that “it is not morally wrong to kill.” Instead I hear them justify exceptions. “I’m not promoting abortion as a good thing. I don’t think it’s right to kill another human being, but this is just a fetus, and anyway, I’m just protecting a woman’s right to her own body.” “I don’t think it’s ethical to force someone to stay alive if they are in pain and they want to die.” “You can’t go around just killing anybody, but I think it would be better for everyone else if ___________________ (insert the name of a group– Down’s Syndrome children, Jews, Sunnis, Hutu/Tutsi) didn’t exist.” “I don’t believe the morals found in the Bible are wrong. I just don’t think you need to believe the rest of it to “be moral.”

People point to single passages, single verses, even single words to “prove” that the Bible is racist, sexist, intolerant, and promotes violence. The Bible includes many examples of people NOT following God’s laws, and yes, the results are grisly. And there are difficult passages when God calls for a wicked city to be destroyed completely. Critics are not wrong to point out that the Bible is not about perfect people behaving perfectly. And the same Loving God who frees the slaves from Egypt is the God who destroys Jericho, and Sodom and Gomorrah. Taken out of context, these few examples may seem to cast doubt on the authority of God’s word. Yet the same critics who pound away at the same few examples in the Bible discount hundreds of instances of historical events that highlight human sacrifice, genocide, mass infanticide, slavery, torture, and all sorts of other evil that occurred without the Bible’s influence. Moreover, I hear a lot about claims against “Christians” who fought in the Crusades or owned slaves–I hear a lot less about Christians who worked to end slavery and the slave trade, or Christians who founded universities, charitable institutions, or brought revivals that sparked decades of social progress throughout countries and continents.

I don’t hear many people claim that there was no such person as Abraham, or King David, or Solomon, or Nebuchadnezzar, or Pontius Pilate or Caesar Augustus. But they want to deny the historical reality of Adam and Eve, Jesus of Nazareth, and the Apostle Paul, who are found in the same Bible. Why? Because if Adam and Eve are real, there must be a creation and a creator. If Jesus really lived and said the things that are attributed to him, we must deal with the claim that he was Messiah. If the Apostle Paul really lived and wrote his letters to the churches of Asia Minor, we must deal with his claim that he encountered the risen Christ and his life was dramatically and eternally changed.

However, there is a “Fake” gospel– Good news that doesn’t match the Biblical account–a “Fake” Christ that only said or did or “would do” what we want him to say or do; a Christ that isn’t holy or righteous, but just loves us because it’s the “zen” thing to do; a Christ who is without power to save or to sanctify; a Christ who is without mercy and loves only those who look the part or say the right things. How do you spot a “Fake” Christ and a “Fake” Gospel? Get to know the real ones of the Bible. You’ll soon be able to spot an “imposter.”

“Fake” News will always fail the test of time and the challenges of real evidence. Good News will transcend the test of time and the challenges of faulty evidence.

Christ Has Died, Christ Is Risen, Christ Will Come Again! THAT’s the Good News!

June 30, 2025 0

Coming Out of the Closet

For anyone who is reading this expecting a big announcement or a shocking confession– please don’t read too much into the title…this is a blog about a lifestyle of prayer, not about gender identity or sexual orientation. I want to talk about the benefits of communal prayer as opposed to prayer that is deeply personal, and takes place in isolation.

There is a time and place for solitary meditation and prayer, and it should become our habit and practice to meet with God daily. But we are told that we should also meet with and interact with others– and this includes sharing our prayer life. For many years, I was one of the “lone rangers.” I rarely met with others specifically to pray or even share prayer concerns. I would get notices on FB or e-mail, or in the church’s weekly newsletter, but it wasn’t the same. Just as God wants to hear our hearts and share communication and communion with us, he wants us to share closeness with others.

Why isn’t it enough to just go into the closet (or other quiet space) to pray? What are the benefits of praying with a small group? Here are some:

We need social interaction– FACE-TO-FACE interaction. God did not create us to live in isolation. We need to have eye contact, hear inflections and tones of voice from others, and to have others listen to ours. We need to share more than just stories on a screen– we need to share laughter, tears, and common ground. We make deeper friendships when we share concerns (not gossip), struggles, and triumphs (not bragging). And we can share burdens, recipes!, helpful tips, jokes, and more
Meeting with others helps us keep our perspective–when we are alone, our problems become bigger; our joys fade, and our talents waste away. Meeting together helps shrink our worry and pride, ignite our hope, and drive our confidence. It also opens up our world to the experiences and concerns of others and teaches us about differences and commonalities
Our faith is strengthened to hear from others who are “in the same” place in their walk; it encourages us to hear from others who have been “through the fire”; it reminds us to be grateful, and gives us an opportunity to build someone up if we have been in their shoes; and it amazes us to hear again what a mighty God we serve, and how he has been faithful
Communal prayer creates a time to break us out of our routine– whether that routine is zooming or “glooming”– we need to mix things up and get out of our rut
God commands us to meet together, to live in unity, and to lift each other up

Can you think of other benefits? Are you in the habit of praying with others? If not, you may be wondering– how do I find others? What are the ground rules (if any)? Are there issues I should be aware of?

Once again, I can list a few that come to mind or that have arisen from experience:

To find others:

Join an existing group– a Bible study group that includes prayer time; a weekly or monthly prayer meeting group; a special interest group within a local church– Moms of Pre-schoolers, or a Dorcas group, or a volunteer group that includes prayer
Start up a group! Meet weekly, twice a week, monthly– whenever, wherever, and whatever works for you and a few others. If you don’t have a space in your home or don’t want to meet at a church, be creative– meet at a park or a local coffee house, or take turns hosting a prayer meeting with others in your group. Don’t be discouraged if there are only two in your “group”; and don’t feel bad about keeping your group limited– you may find enough interested people to form two or three groups in your neighborhood!
Think outside the box– you may stumble on to a group during your commute to work each day; in your child’s play group; at the gym; at a neighborhood church you have never visited (it doesn’t mean you are being “unfaithful” to your church to reach out to fellow brothers or sisters throughout the week!)

Ground rules:

Groups should have some structure, leadership, and accountability
Participants (including leaders) should be careful not to confuse gossip for “concerns”, or use the group for a sounding board, on-going therapy, or a captive audience for their personal drama or their political or social agenda
Group leaders need to create boundaries, so participants feel free to share real burdens and concerns but take responsibility for others’ privacy and vulnerability
Groups should be open to visitors, new members, and seekers of all backgrounds

Issues to watch for–Any group that is made up of humans can fall victim to unhealthy and unwholesome practices. Just because a group meets with good intentions and calls itself a prayer group doesn’t mean that it is a “safe” place to meet. Keep your eyes and ears open for the following:

Groups that make you feel uncomfortable for showing up, or for sharing (or not sharing every one of) your authentic concerns, your questions, or your feedback. Sometimes, we can feel uncomfortable sharing about ourselves because we feel shame or guilt about our past or about our lack of knowledge or experience; sometimes we’re defensive or hypersensitive because we’re in a new situation. But if you are being made to feel ashamed or isolated or patronized, especially if you are being labeled or discriminated against, get out. LEAVE– shake the dust off of your shoes as you go (One caveat here– there are groups that meet for specific issues (see below)…if the group is meeting to pray as parents of toddlers, and you aren’t a parent or grandparent or aunt or uncle of a toddler– not only will you feel uncomfortable, but so will the rest of the group. You should still leave this group, but you can forego the shoe shaking…)
Groups that have one or two members who dominate and intimidate the other members. Leaders need to provide boundaries and structure, but they should not squash authentic dialogue or force everyone to listen to someone else’s “true confessions” (especially if it’s a repeat of the last meeting!) This is more a “comfort zone” issue than the first one– some groups just have a couple of “talkers” and a couple of “listeners”–the point here is that there needs to be a balance so that all members have a chance to contribute
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Groups that get “taken over” or sidetracked by a single issue– unless that is what you signed up for. If you are a group whose purpose is prayer, it’s not safe to assume that everyone in your group will also want to go on a protest march or volunteer an entire Saturday at the soup kitchen. There’s nothing wrong with other activities, but it shouldn’t be a requirement of your prayer group (see above)
Groups that are only “token” prayer groups–they may “share” what’s going on in their families as “requests” but they don’t actually take time to pray about them in the group setting. They talk and eat, and maybe even say “spiritual” things. There’s nothing wrong with friends getting together, whether they pray or not, but if you’re going to call it a prayer group or a prayer meeting….
That brings me to the group that uses “prayer” as a cover for gossip or grumbling. Prayer should be constructive and God-centered. If it isn’t either, it isn’t really prayer. Even if it sounds positive and holy, if it is centered on how “blessed” you are, or what you know God needs to do in someone else’s life– it isn’t really prayer unless His name is magnified and ours is minimized.
Any group that does not honor God’s word, God’s sovereignty, or God’s goodness–Not every group that prays is praying to Almighty God, in the name of Jesus Christ, or for His will to be accomplished. While prayer groups should be open to all people, and there are wonderful opportunities for ecumenical and all-faith prayer in the public forum, a weekly or monthly prayer group is probably not the best venue. That being said, I recommend exposure to various Christian prayer styles and practices– formal and ritual prayer, spirit-filled worship prayer, gospel-infused crying out, simple “popcorn” utterances, and eloquent prayers that roll off righteous tongues in an engaging crescendo, punctuated with holy hushes.

March 24, 2025 0

Objects In the Mirror…

“Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear…” This notice is on the side rear-view mirror of my car. It serves to remind me that I cannot judge distances by what I see– that my mirror is meant to show a wide-range view, rather than one that is precise and in-scale.

Many things in life are similarly distorted. The actual objects in my rear-view mirror don’t appear distorted, but if I back up without considering the warning, I am likely to run into an object and “distort” my back bumper!

The Bible also warns us about distortion and mirrors. In James, chapter 1, the Apostle writes:

²²Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. ²³Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror ²⁴and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. ²⁵But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.
²⁶Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. ²⁷Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:22-27 (NIV)

We can easily read what the Bible says; we can easily hear the truth; we can even recite Scripture– and still be deceived and following a distorted version of God’s Word. As I write this, I can quote James, or another passage of Scripture, and walk away from the keyboard only to spread gossip, or snap at my husband, or in some other way distort what I know to be true about myself and about God.

The Apostle Paul also references mirrors in 1 Corinthians:

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹²For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
1 Corinthians 13: 8-12

Even though this chapter is famously known as the “Love” chapter, it also addresses our need to be alert, humble, and committed to acting on what we know to be true. We can speak of love, even perform acts of self-sacrifice, yet distort what it actually means to practice Love. If we glance at our lives in the distorted mirrors of pride or worldly comparison, we will lose our perspective and our proper focus– and end up damaging more than just a bumper!

This distortion can also infect our prayer life. We can pray on “auto-pilot”– looking at things in a distorted mirror, instead of focusing on God and putting things in their proper perspective. How many times have I prayed that God would help those in need, without ever considering how He might want me to DO something? Have I asked locally if there is a need I can help meet? Not just with money, but in time or service? Do I pray “globally” but ignore those right in my own back yard? Sadly, I must answer than I have been guilty of such distortion. Or how many times have I been in the one in need, praying for a miracle, while refusing the practical help that someone has offered? Have I prayed that God would “change” someone else’s attitude, without seeing that mine needs to change as well (or instead!)? Have I confessed a sin, without really repenting? There is temptation, waiting in my rear-view mirror– and much closer than it appears!–but I want absolution without discipline. I want help without humility. I want to love others– when it is convenient.

Thankfully, God WANTS us to see clearly. He gives us warnings about the mirrors we tend to use, and His Word helps us correct our focus.

God wants us to see things as they really are– both the horror of our sin and rebellion, and the wonder of His Grace. And sometimes, that means grappling with the distortions in the mirrors of our own making.

November 18, 2024 0

Out of the Same Mouth

⁵Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.⁷All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, ⁸but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. ⁹With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. ¹¹Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?
James 3:5-10 NIV via biblegateway.com (emphasis added)

‘We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.’
Epictetus (Greek philosopher)

Have you ever made a tape of you speaking, and played it back to listen to yourself? Or have you had someone remind you of what you said earlier in the day or week? Have you been astonished to hear what came out of your mouth (or how someone else interpreted your words)? James, the brother of Jesus, had much to say about the dangerous power of an untamed tongue. “Fire”, “poison”, “corrupt”, “restless”, “evil”, and “deadly” are harsh words, but we should heed James’ warning.

Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing…
Out of the same mouth come worship and complaining…
Out of the same mouth come encouragement and gossip…
Out of the same mouth come blessings and bitterness…
Out of the same mouth come hymns of heaven and threats of hell…

And it’s not just our mouths, anymore. I see (and have seen it in my own feeds) posts on social media that make me wonder if the person posting is aware of what they posted just minutes or hours before–rants and boasts, complaints and smug condemnation sprinkled with Bible verses about Peace and Love, and pictures of puppies. We copy and paste, write and speak “in the moment” out of the emotions and thoughts that we allow to govern us. And while we may forget our momentary outbursts and random sarcastic comments, others do not. God does not ignore them, either. He can and will forgive them, but He isn’t “fooled” by our gracious cover-ups and flowery quote boxes.

Especially in this election season, it is tempting to let emotions and “righteous” indignation cause us to speak or post in ways that show disrespect, disdain, and even hatred toward neighbors, co-workers, and (yes, possibly) relatives who may vote differently or for different reasons than we do. We hurry to post or “share” clever put-downs or preachy thoughts about what others should “know” or how they should think and act. But would we say such things in person? Do we really mean to hurt others in our quest to be “right” or clever or morally virtuous in the eyes of a few people we barely know?

When I pray today, I need to “listen” to what I’ve been saying lately. Do I need to deal with hidden anger or resentment? Do I need to confess (both to God and to someone else) about gossip? Do I need to reconsider the way I speak about my relationships and my achievements (and failures!)? Do I need to stop following or sharing certain sites or content? Do I need to spend less time talking and posting than listening and praying?

The same mouth that praises God should be speaking life, peace, healing, and hope to those around me. The same mouth that promises to follow Christ, should promise to reach out to those for whom He died. The same mouth that gives thanks for Salvation should be eager to share the Good News.

The tongue is powerful–whether as a weapon or a tool; whether controlled or out of control. God wants to teach us to use it as a tool for good. Not just when we pray, or worship, but every time we use it!

October 21, 2024 0

The Weight of Words

Words have weight– I’m not talking about thousand-page novels or multi-syllable legalese terms– some words simply weigh heavier on the mind and heart than others. Some everyday words spill out like dust motes carried on a light breeze. They hang suspended in midair, without any set purpose or destination, and finally settle, forgotten, until someone sweeps them away. Other words explode, sending shards and pellets at unwary targets. Some words thunder like falling rocks in an avalanche of guilt or anger or hatred. And some rare and precious words have the weight of a quilt or a hug, or an arm lifting you up when you are falling.

One of the amazing things about prayer is that as we pour out our words before the Savior, the weight of our words is lifted off our hearts and minds and given to him to carry– the weight of the guilt, the weight of worry, the weight of grief, the weight of anger, the weight of hurt. Not only does God take on the weight of our words (and our pain and guilt), but he makes sense of it all– maybe not instantly, or in the way we imagine– but he brings order and goodness out of our chaos and burden.

And those everyday words swirling around like dust fall into the light, where they shine like gold dust in His presence. When we bring everything to God, he transforms it; he transforms us.

Our words have weight in prayer. And our words to others have weight, as well. Today, I want to weigh my words carefully. Are my words burdening others, or helping them lift a load of care? If I had to carry the weight of my words– my criticisms and clever put-downs, my accusations and angry tantrums, my bragging and comparisons– would I be dragging them behind me with joy and pride? What if, instead, my words were filled with the weight of shared laughter, encouragement, hope, and compassion? What if my words held the weight of truth and kindness and peace?

Would it change the weight of my prayers?

May 3, 2024 0

In One Accord

I heard a riddle a few years ago, that went something like this: ”What kind of car would Jesus drive? A Honda–it says in the Bible that Jesus and his disciples were all in one Accord!”

While that pun may raise some groans, it also hints at a valid principle. Those who follow Christ should be “in one accord.” Whether we are riding together in a car, or sitting together in a service, or serving together on the mission field, we should be of one mind. But what does that actually mean in a practical sense? How does it relate to a pursuit of prayer?

To be “in accord” is to be unified, in agreement, in consensus, in harmony, with all the others of a group. It is the act of blending together for a single purpose– to match up with others in a single focus–to unite in one glorious expression. Think of a harmonic musical chord– three or more single notes being played together to make a fuller, richer, more complete burst of sound. The notes must act together– they must be in harmony within the scale, and they must be played at the same time. There is even such a concept in music of “resolving” a chord– first playing a chord in a minor key, then changing one or more of the notes to form a similar chord in a major key. The human ear is drawn to chords that “resolve”– music that ends on a “positive note.”

In human relationships, we also like resolution and harmony. As Christians, we are strongly encouraged to live in harmony and unity, living for others, so that we may “glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ with one mind and one voice.” (Romans 15:6 CSB) We are not to insist on having things “our way,” to resist those who offer Godly correction, or to be part of creating divisions. Instead, we are to refrain from selfish ambition, to remain faithful to Christ’s teachings, and to “resolve” conflict whenever possible.

Likewise in prayer. We should echo the prayers of others, as we seek God’s will to triumph over situations and circumstances. That doesn’t mean that we all have to intone the same rote words whenever we are together. But it does mean that we should support each other in prayer, just as we would in speaking to each other and about each other.

And that involves seriously evaluating how we speak and act and think about our fellow Christians. If we gossip or spread complaints about our Brothers and Sisters in Christ, we are NOT in accord, and our prayers cannot be in harmony with theirs. If we are waiting for others to see things “our way,” we should be very careful about how we pray– it may be that WE are the ones who need to reconsider, or it may be that we need to listen before we presume to judge. Being “in one accord” involves humility, kindness, gentleness, and a willingness to accept (and sometimes to give) difficult Godly correction. The goal is not for others to see things “my way,” but for all of us to see things God’s way!

And when that happens, our prayers will be like a symphony, built of gloriously harmonious chords. Just imagine how delightful it is to pray “in one accord,” knowing that our prayers not only reach heaven, but fill it with music!

For more information on this concept, check out https://www.gotquestions.org/in-one-accord.html .

January 26, 2024 2

Unspoken

What does it mean when someone says they have an “unspoken” prayer request? If you are new to Christianity or to prayer, this can seem confusing. Aren’t we supposed to present our requests to the Father? Aren’t we supposed to pray for one another? How can we ask someone to pray for us, and then hold back on giving a reason? Is that “cheating” somehow?

There are several reasons why someone may ask for “unspoken” prayer, and there is no reason why we should not pray just as fervently for an unspoken request. So why would someone be reluctant or even unable to speak their request?

Sometimes, they are passing along a request from another. Someone has shared a burden, and it seems too large for just one or two people. But the original request was not shared publicly, nor did the sharer give permission to share details in a group. It is important to honor the other person’s attempt to avoid gossip and oversharing.
Sometimes, the request involves a delicate personal situation– an unsaved spouse, an aging parent facing financial difficulties, etc.– and the details of a request might cause unnecessary pain or shame to another, or strain an already tenuous relationship.
Sometimes, the person asking for prayer cannot put their request into words. They know there is a problem, but they may not fully understand what they need or even want. Sometimes, a sudden change throws them into turmoil. Other times, an unrecognized problem has been looming, and they are taken by surprise. Sometimes, there are multiple issues and layers of issues that can’t be explained easily.
Sometimes, the person is ashamed of asking. They may feel like a failure for even asking. It may be an issue they thought they had overcome, and they are reluctant to admit that it isn’t resolved. They may not be ready to confess a secret sin, but they know they need help.

Whatever the reason, we should always be willing to pray, especially when asked to do so. But how can I pray for someone who won’t or can’t tell me what they need?

In many ways it is the same– If I know that “Sue” is battling cancer, I am still praying to the same God as I am for “Janet” who can’t tell me about her recent diagnosis or her ongoing battle with a wayward teenage daughter. Yes, I can be more specific in my prayer for Sue, but I can still lift up Janet as someone who needs God’s care, protection, and encouragement. I can acknowledge that God loves both women, and that God is the only one who can meet their needs. I can praise God that HE knows all; that He is sovereign over all, and that He cares about Sue and Janet (and Me) far more than I can understand.

What are some practical guidelines when praying for “unspoken” requests?

Honor the other person’s privacy. Don’t try to drag a confession or sordid details from someone who is already struggling to share their need for prayer. Your “need to know” all the details is less than another person’s need for earnest encouragement, compassion, and support.
Concentrate on the basics— don’t try to “guess” at specifics. Pray for their general health, well-being, growth, encouragement, and strength to persevere. If you know of an ongoing situation, don’t get bogged down on praying for just that issue. Use this opportunity to uphold your friend or neighbor, brother or sister in loving prayer, not intense scrutiny.

Do not cast judgment. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “should” be more open or share more details. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “really” needs your prayer. We all know people who “overshare,” and we all know people who seem addicted to drama. We all know other people who never open up or seem independent and self-contained. Their “unspoken” requests are still “real” requests– even if they are making the third one this week. Lift up your sister or brother with love, not exasperation or comparison with anyone else. Remember, you would not want someone else dissecting your life trying to decide if your prayer requests are “worth” their time.
Thank God for the opportunity to join God in loving others! If someone is asking for your prayer, it generally means that they respect and trust you to respond. God is giving you a unique and wonderful opportunity to join in His work! Prayer of this type is not a burden or an obligation. It should be a joyful experience.
Follow up. Let the other person know that you are praying for them. If possible, pray with them, remembering that this is not an opportunity to pry, poke, or condescend, but to uplift, encourage, and invite God to act! If you get the opportunity to do so, check in with the other person in a few days or a week, to let them know you are still praying.
Use this opportunity to build your relationship. ”In what other ways can I be praying for you?” ”Is there anything I can do for you?” Don’t make a fuss. They may (even probably will) say no. Don’t pry about details, but offer practical assistance, as well as prayer, whenever possible.

I try to use this model whenever I get an “unspoken” request– whether in person, as part of a prayer chain, or scrolling through social media. EVERY request is an opportunity. EVERY request deserves my eager and faithful response.

January 17, 2024 0

Praying in Anger

Ephesians 4:25-32 English Standard Version (ESV)

²⁵Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. ²⁶Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, ²⁷and give no opportunity to the devil. ²⁸Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. ²⁹Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ³⁰And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ³²Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

I grew up hearing that anger is a sin. Yet God experiences anger and wrath. And the Apostle Paul says in this passage that we are to “Be angry and do not sin” (Eph. 4:26a).

Anger is an emotion; feeding on anger, wallowing in it, stewing and screaming and acting out under the control of our anger– that is sin. That is why Paul goes on to say that we should “not let the sun go down on your anger ” (4:26b). Anger doesn’t have to be a bad emotion, but it is a bad master. We need to take control over our anger to resolve it, and let it go. In Genesis, God spoke to Cain about this very thing–Cain and his brother Abel had brought sacrifices to God; Abel’s sacrifice was pleasing to God, but Cain’s sacrifice did not find God’s favor. The sacrifices were voluntary– Cain and Abel were not in competition to see who could bring the “best” sacrifice. God had not ordered them to bring a sacrifice only to find fault with Cain’s efforts or the way he chose to present the sacrifice. The scriptures don’t even say that God rebuked Cain or pointed out a flaw in his offering. He simply found favor with Abel’s offering– Abel had brought the best he had; the firstborn of his flocks. Cain had brought “some” of his crops.

garlic beside ginger and pepper on brown wooden table

The difference in the sacrifices had nothing to do with the content or the manner of offering, but in the intent to worship God halfheartedly, instead of wholeheartedly. God saw that Cain was angry (as well as proud and envious of his brother). Instead of rebuke, God offered grace and wisdom:

Genesis 4:6-7 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

⁶The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? ⁷If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.”

God doesn’t want us to deny our anger or pretend we are never angry. But He does want us to acknowledge it, and deal with it. Why am I angry? What should I do about it? Anger can motivate us to do the wrong things, but it can also spur us to change our course, and do something good. Righteous anger can spur us to speak out about injustice, and seek to correct wrongs. Anger can lead us to our knees, asking God for direction, strength, or His intervention and justice. King David often prayed angry prayers asking God to strike down the people who were plotting against him, or those who were doing evil or mocking God’s people.

I wish I could say that I had mastered this area, but I’m writing as much for my own instruction today as anything else. Here are some wonderful steps we can and SHOULD take to deal with anger:

Pray! Anger can strangle us, or it can sneak up and suffocate us, but the worst it can do is drive us away from our source of help and hope. God WANTS us to come to him. He reached out to Cain in his anger, wanting to draw him near and help him overcome it; He offers us the same help. God can handle our anger– he can give us the power to let it go, and direct our feelings appropriately.
Own it–Angry people tend to deflect responsibility. Yes, other people can say or do things that make you angry, but they can’t make you say or do sinful things in response to their actions. You still bear the responsibility for what you do with your anger– even “righteous indignation.”
Question it!–This is something I have found helpful. Just as God asked Cain, ask yourself, “Why am I angry? Why am I downcast?” And then, answer them honestly. Many times, the root of my anger isn’t justified–instead it’s “just a lie”. I have no right to be angry with someone else when I chose to waste time, cut corners, or neglect to do what was necessary. I have no right to be angry or outraged because someone else feels differently or sees a different side of an issue. In fact, if I keep listening instead of exploding, I might find compassion overriding the anger. I might even learn something new! Or I might better understand why I feel or think as I do, and be better able to explain it to others, instead of just yelling the same thing over again.

Deal with it–This is a difficult one for me. I don’t like confrontation. If someone hurts me, I just want to walk away and lick my wounds. And we shouldn’t confront others WITH our anger, striking out at them and seeking to hurt them. But I have found that a lot of anger and hurt that I have harbored is not only unjustified, but is based on misunderstandings and pride. It takes humility, but it also takes courage to seek out someone to offer an apology you don’t want to give, or to ask for clarification instead of harboring hurt.

Don’t spread it! “Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath” is not permission to “vent” to seven (or seven hundred) friends by spreading your hurt and outrage until you feel calmer. This is particularly true in the age of Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. In the short-term, this may seem right– “they need to know what is happening”– but it is just the opposite. Anger often leads to rash judgments, and hasty actions that we can’t undo or call back. If you are not talking with the object of resolving a misunderstanding, apologizing, or offering a positive solution, you are engaging in sin. The old saying, “If you can’t say something nice about a person, say nothing at all” applies here. And it applies about situations and circumstances, too. I am angry about various practices and policies by governments, companies, even churches; what I need to spread is not my anger about them, but awareness of how God can change them, and why we should be seeking His justice, His righteousness, and His grace toward those who have been impacted by them.

Repent of any anger-related sin. Remember, anger itself is an emotion. God experiences it; we are made in His image, so we experience it, too. But God’s anger is Holy; ours is often tainted with other feelings and thoughts– pride, envy, greed– or even other human frailties like misunderstanding, exhaustion, hunger and pain. Instead of feeling guilt over the anger, we need to turn away from the sin that overpowers us in our anger.

For more Biblical wisdom about dealing with anger, see the following:

https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/anger-bible-verses/

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205%3A21-26&version=NCV

https://thewisebeliever.com/anger-bible-examples/

January 3, 2024 0

Untie? or Unite!

I once saw a cartoon involving a person holding a sign that read, “Bad spellers of the world: UNTIE!” Part of what makes the joke funny (at least to a pun-lover like me) is that all the correct letters are there–just two letters are transposed–but the meanings are completely different. And, of course, the bad speller misspelled the most important word. Instead of asking for unity, the sign invites potential destruction and chaos!

There is a serious side to this cartoon, however. Just like the sign-bearer, we often carry a message that is vastly different from what we mean to project– it may look similar or close to what we intend; it may even go unnoticed at first–but eventually, it will make us look foolish and actually call more attention to our faults and failures.

As Christians, we often pray for unity– we talk about it, we long for it, and we call out for it. But what are we DOING to promote unity and love within the Church? I recently ended my subscription to an on-line forum with articles about Christian Living. I wanted to support discussion, encouragement, and even constructive criticism among the Christian community. But more and more, I found the articles and discussions were not constructive; they were divisive, sarcastic, boastful, and condescending to other believers based on how they worshiped– the kind of songs they sang, or the lighting and seating in their sanctuary, whether they wore suits and dresses or ripped jeans and flip flops, whether they collected offerings or had a diverse worship team. There was no effort to listen or present Biblical principals that might help congregations find a balanced way to discuss differences in worship styles. There was no invitation for consensus or inclusion; no discussion of doctrinal principles or lasting truths that must be upheld. It was a forum for bickering, snide commentary, complaints, and virtue-signaling from self-righteous people taking pot-shots at other self-righteous people. I’m ashamed to admit that I did not unsubscribe earlier–I sent in my own snide comments, my own self-justifying judgments of others.

One of the pitfalls of social media is that it gives us the illusion of unity–we “like” posts, or others “like” what we have written or shared. We create convenient “echo chambers” filled with the kind of words and ideas that we find familiar or comfortable. This gives us a sense of well-being–even superiority–but it doesn’t promote true understanding with others. In fact, it may intimidate others into keeping silent about their own feelings or beliefs, while quietly resenting ours.

The Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) includes Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control– it doesn’t include cleverness, arrogance, criticism, complacency, or divisiveness!

Ephesians 4:1-6

4 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. ²Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ³Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ⁴There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; ⁵one Lord, one faith, one baptism; ⁶one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4&version=NIV

Photo by Kampus Production on Pexels.com

It is not difficult to let our thoughts and emotions lead us to react badly– to untie, rather than unite. Here are several handy questions to ask BEFORE we grab up our “misspelled” sign and march around spreading dis-unity and chaos:

If Jesus were listening to me or reading my posts– and He IS!–would He agree? Would He “like” or “share” this? Would I send it to Him? Would I say this to His face?
Have I really thought about what this says to my family? My friends? My neighbors? My enemies? My Pastor? My co-workers? Strangers? Will it bring people together? Or will it force people to take sides? (There are times when we all need to be challenged to take sides on important issues, but is this one of them?)
There are some great posters in elementary schools that use the acronym to evaluate social media, but it works equally well for gossip, news articles, or any information or opinion that we wish to pass along– THINK–T: is it True? Have you checked the facts, dates, assertions, etc., to see if they are valid? H–is it Helpful? Is this good information? Am I helping people find a solution to a problem, or offering encouragement? I–is it Inspiring/Important? Am I wasting time passing on information or opinion just because I find it clever or entertaining? Or will this information inspire and build people up?Are lives in jeopardy if I don’t pass this information along or if I don’t comment? N–is it Necessary? Does this information or opinion need to be shared? With everyone? By me? Now? Finally, K–is it Kind? Even if it is “true” and “helpful”, etc., it can be abrasive, hurtful, or condescending in tone. Being “right” can still be “wrong” when it comes to unity and encouragement.

Lord, help me to speak and act in ways that bring unity. Help me reflect the Grace and Peace that comes from You. Let my words and deeds produce Spiritual Fruit that lasts. May I seek to build up others, not tear them down or “untie” relationships that You want to flourish.

Good Christians of the world– UNITE!

September 7, 2022 0

Tag: gossip

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