Tag: peace

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep..

Now I lay me down to sleep;
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

I learned this prayer as a child. It seemed very grim, and pessimistic. As a child, I spent very little time (as little as possible) thinking of my own mortality, or the state of my soul after a day of playing with dolls or running around outside. I was blessed with a safe and easy childhood. Of course, I had days of sickness, a bout of chicken pox, the loss of a pet, news of neighbors who had died in war, fallen to cancer, or been killed in accidents–moments that caused me to reflect a bit more. But I didn’t want to think about serious things. I wanted peace and happiness.

As a younger adult, I came to the conclusion that prayers like this were old-fashioned, and designed to scare vulnerable children into a false faith based on fear and gloom. Shouldn’t children learn about the Love of Jesus and the Mercy of the Father, instead of worrying about death and eternal doom of their soul? Prayers like this would be “bad” for young children; traumatic and disturbing. Better to teach them prayers that were sweet and light, and full of only the goodness of God.

Lately, however, I remember things a bit differently. Yes, there is gloom and doom in this old children’s prayer, but there is also comfort, Love, and Mercy. As a child, I could “lay me down” to sleep in peace, knowing that God would, indeed, keep my soul from harm. I didn’t expect to die, but when I woke up dreaming of monsters, or suddenly became aware of mortality, I didn’t have to stay fearful. God is bigger than any monster; bigger then Death. I could not trust anyone better, mightier, or more capable than the Lord to keep my soul, or to “take” it safely to its final destination. I learned about the Goodness of God, but I also learned about stark realities– the persecuted Church, war, famine, injustice–things that God wants me to confront, and endure, and lift to Him in prayer. And for every “gloomy” reality, there are stories of victory and joy, faith and resilience, love and grace– because God is standing by, ready to rescue and reassure and redeem.

Bedtime prayers are a great comfort to me now. And they are also important prayers in my Christian Walk. It is at bedtime that I can reflect on God’s goodness throughout the day. I can be thankful for all the blessings God has given me, and for all the ways He has guided me and protected me– often without my knowledge and in spite of myself! Instead of worrying, tossing and turning, trying to “figure out” tomorrow, I can lift my burdens to God, knowing that I won’t face anything tomorrow alone! I can reflect on all the times I thought I couldn’t make it, but God made a way! And I can confidently rest in the hope that nothing can separate me from God’s loving care. Not yesterday’s guilt, nor today’s failures, nor tomorrow’s unknown (or imagined) trials– not even death!

I am old enough now that mortality plays a bigger role in my thoughts. I have lost my parents, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, classmates, co-workers, neighbors, and friends. I’ve experienced both great joy and great sorrow. But I need not be afraid of disease, dilemmas, or death. I need not worry about the state of my soul. I may have griefs, aches and pains, and worries about tomorrow. But I can “lay me down” in peace and patience, knowing I have a Good, Good Father whose love has surrounded me for over half a century. I can “Hush” all my fears, and sleep like a baby, knowing my God is always standing right by my side.

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Who Are We Feeding?

“An old Cherokee man told his grandson, ‘..My boy, there is a great battle between two wolves that live inside us all. One is evil–it is anger, jealousy, greed, lies, resentment, regret, and arrogance. The other is good– it is joy, love, peace, hope, kindness, humility, empathy, and truth.’ The boy thought for awhile, and then he asked, ‘ Grandfather, which wolf wins the great battle?’ The wise old man replied quietly, ‘The one you feed.'”

The Story of the Two Wolves– a Cherokee legend

 “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. 22 “Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. 23 But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is! 24 “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money. 25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? 31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Matthew 6:19-33 NLT

Just a short while ago, I published a blog entry called, “You Are Not What You Eat.” But sometimes, you DO become what you consume. I’m not talking literally about food, but figuratively you become what you read, and listen to, and spend time and money on– what you consume can end up consuming You!

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

― Lao Tzu

Just like the two wolves in the Cherokee legend, there are two forces at work inside us. The Bible calls them “flesh” and “spirit.” The Apostle Paul also writes about this great battle:

15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

Romans 7:15-20 ESV

We all start with “good intentions.” We want to be known as a “good person.” We want to have healthy relationships. We want the trust and respect of others. But Sin works in us against our own good intentions. We get hurt, so we lash out in anger. We see others achieving success or enjoying benefits we think we should have, and we become envious or resentful. We allow fear, greed, or bitterness to overpower us. We lie, or we isolate ourselves from others. We give up in despair, or reject the help and advice of those who want what’s best for us. We rely on our own resources and “will power” to achieve success, even to lose weight– but we always seem to fall short! We compare ourselves to others– sometimes ending in arrogance and apathy, sometimes ending in shame and humiliation.

But the battleground is not always so obvious as arrogance or despair, hurting others or being victimized. Who are we feeding in those moments of relaxation and ease? Are we scrolling through websites that waste our valuable time or encourage us to devalue others around us? Are we listening to music that encourages us to anger and pleasing ourselves at any expense? Are we reading books or watching movies that honor God? Are we spending money in ways that please Him? Are we spending our “down” time on our knees? Who are we feeding when times are tough? Are we spending time worrying or scurrying around trying to “make things happen” a certain way? Are we grateful, or fearful? Are we terrified or trusting? Our small choices in things that don’t seem to matter can start to change the way we think, and speak, act, and live.

There IS a great battle. But there are also tiny battles in the little moments of our day: opportunities to inch closer to God or to lose ground to the distractions and temptations of the world. And on our own, we will lose the battle, for the “flesh” will conspire to steal even the “good” food we think we are feeding ourselves. Thankfully, Christ came to feed the “good wolf.” In following Christ; in developing a relationship with Him, we allow His Spirit to nourish us. He is the “bread of life.” He is the “living water.” He alone provides the power to win the battle. Paul follows up in Romans by saying:

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

Romans 8 26-30 ESV

So who are we feeding today? Or rather, who is feeding us? What are we consuming, and is it consuming us in turn? I hope we are feeding on God’s Word today, and walking with Him in each moment– whether in quiet reflection or in desperate need. May we be nourished and satisfied as we walk forward with Him!

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Fitting In

(Today, I am revising a post from a couple of years ago.)

Matthew 5:1-12 (NIV via biblegateway.com):

5 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2 and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes

He said:

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

No one likes to feel “left out.” We have a deep desire to be accepted, liked, loved, respected, and needed. We want to “fit in.” But sometimes, acceptance and inclusion are not possible. Sometimes, they are offered, but at a price too steep. Sometimes, we make unhealthy compromises in our efforts to avoid conflict or to win respect.

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gave us at least seven principles/actions that will bring us blessing. But they are in opposition to human nature– NOT designed to help us “fit in” with most of society. Elsewhere in scripture, we are told to stand apart from what others are doing or saying. God wants people who will follow HIM, not the world.

  • People who are poor in spirit— this can be taken at least two ways: those who consider themselves poor in a material sense, and hold their money and possessions lightly; or those who are aware of their spiritual poverty, knowing that they need guidance and wisdom from above. Such people are humble–not pushy, not arrogant, not greedy, not spending time proving how clever or wealthy they are. Such people will “possess” the kingdom of heaven– not by fighting and straining and striving and grasping for sole ownership–it is God’s gracious gift to be shared by all who are poor in spirit.
  • People who mourn–not people who are eternally gloomy and depressed, but those who mourn the loss of innocence, the injustices of the world, the suffering and grief of others. Such people also rejoice at the sight of a glorious sunrise, or laugh to see children playing– but they do not deny or circumvent the realities of a fallen world. They face facts–even when those facts are convicting, grievous, and painful. And they do not react with denial or distraction, with outrage or disinterest. They mourn. Such people will be comforted, even in the midst of mourning, by God’s sovereignty and righteousness.

  • People who are meek –there is a difference between being meek and lacking confidence or being a stooge or a fool. Meek people still have boundaries– and they respect the boundaries of others. They stand up for what is right, but they don’t insist on always being “right.” Such people will not stake a claim on the earth or try to grab their “fair share.” Instead, they will inherit all that God has in store for them! Notice the parallel with those who are “poor in spirit.” Meekness and humility are despised by the proud and the loud. But they are respected and honored by God, and sought out by people of discernment. Some of the greatest leaders are not bombastic and dictatorial, but humble and wise in creating success for everyone around them– not just themselves!
  • People who hunger and thirst for righteousness–hunger and thirst are natural and ongoing processes. There are people who want “justice” or “righteousness.” They want it NOW. They want it to be retroactive. They want it to be a foregone conclusion. And they want it to be eternal. But they don’t long for personal righteousness, and they don’t want to feel hunger or thirst for it. They don’t want to seek after true righteousness; they just want the results. They just want the world to spin righteously all around them. But for those who hunger and thirst– Jesus is both the Living Water and the Bread of Life. He brings a daily portion of all-sufficient Grace, wisdom, and forgiveness to keep us filled.

  • People who are merciful–I was struck as I read this again by the term merciful. We spend a lot of time and energy talking about God’s Grace– the fact that God gives us untold blessings that we don’t deserve. But here, Jesus is talking about the merciful– not giving others the condemnation or punishment they deserve. I find it much easier to be Graceful than to be Merciful. It is easy to bless others; to be charitable, or charming, encouraging, or bountiful. It is much more difficult to bite back an insulting or critical retort, to forgive a debt, to let go of a grudge, or keep from passing on a juicy morsel of gossip. It is easier to focus on the Golden Rule of doing unto others as you would like them to do unto you, than to Love your enemies. Jesus asked us to do both– but the blessing here is for those who show Mercy!
  • People who are pure in heart–not just shiny on the surface. I can say all manner of spiritual-sounding things; I can do all kinds of good deeds; I can even write blog entries on scriptural truths– but God looks on my heart, to see if it is pure. And if I haven’t covered my heart in posturing and false rituals, justifications and excuses, denials and rebellion, I should be able to “see” God– to have a clearer picture of who He is, what He is doing in the world around me, what He wants me to do and say and become…And other will be able to see God reflected in my words and actions, as well!
  • People who are peacemakers–not just people who “go along to get along,” but people who are willing to help bring about peace, and who will create an atmosphere of unity and respect–at home, in the workplace, and in their neighborhoods. When we bring peace to a chaotic relationship, or create a peaceful atmosphere, we are doing the work of reconciliation, and we are showing others the nature of our Father.
  • When we cultivate (or allow God’s Spirit to cultivate) these characteristics in our lives, we will not “fit in” with the world around us. We will stand out and stand apart. And that will make us targets for persecution, abuse, misunderstanding, insults, and false accusations. But we can be encouraged, not only because of the blessings Jesus promises in the Beatitudes, but in the reminder that we stand in very good company. We may not fit in at the office; we may be ostracized by our family; we may be targeted in our community– but we fit in with a host of prophets, apostles, saints, and with Christ Himself!

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No More Goodbyes

Today marks 25 years since I said “goodbye” to my father. My mother, sister, and I stood by his bedside at the hospital. The doctors had tried numerous times to re-start his heart. In the process, they had broken his sternum, and each new effort was causing additional pain and putting his lungs in danger of being punctured by bone fragments. His time was running out. We were allowed to come in and say our last words to him, before his worn-out heart finally stopped for good. I held his hand one last time, whispered that I loved him and that I would help take care of Mom. I kissed his forehead, and said a prayer. Mom and my sister did the same.

Earlier this year, I had to say goodbye to Mom as well. My sister and I were with her, and had read her mail aloud to her, as she had fallen into a coma. I was preparing to return home. I said, “goodbye;” I held her hand, kissed her cheek and turned to my sister. When I turned back around, Mom was gone–her oxygen machine was still running, but her heart had stopped beating, and she was peaceful and still. In that moment, I became an orphan.


Death is part of the curse of a fallen world. God is the source of all Life. In a fallen world, we are cut off from our life-source. Our mortal bodies must taste death. It is the consequence of Sin– our sin, and the sins of others. Disease, violence, aging, disasters, grieving, work, abuse– all conspire to drain the life out of our bodies. Life is a gift– we can’t “earn” it, and we can’t “hold on” to it indefinitely. Nor can we hold on to the lives of others–even those we love. Some day, I will lose my sister. Or she will lose me. Some day, I will lose, or be lost to my husband, my brother, my step-children, mother-in-law, grandchildren, cousins, friends, and neighbors.


And, just like leaves on the trees later this month, all of us will grow old, be changed, and fall into decay. Some will fall gently; others will be torn away by the winds of war, or crime, or cancer, or accidents. Some will fall early; others will cling to life until the last moment, but all will eventually die. More goodbyes. More grieving. More death.


But. God is the author of Life, not Death.


Death is not the end for those who have trusted their souls to God. Our bodies must still taste death. We must still say, “Goodbye” to those we love on earth. But our goodbyes are tempered with the promise that the One who conquered Death did so for US. Because Jesus was willing to die and able to rise again, we will also live again. And THIS life will be untainted and eternal. No more goodbyes. No more grieving and separation. No more fear of an unknown future that includes death. No more waiting. No more living without a father. Our Heavenly Father will never leave, never die, never suffer the ravages of age or disease, never fall. In fact, Jesus never said “Goodbye” to His disciples– it wasn’t in His vocabulary! He said that He would “Go to prepare a place…(John 14:2-3)”, and He charged His disciples to “Go into all the world…(Mark 16:15)” But He never said, “Goodbye!”

I had to say, “Goodbye,” to my wonderful parents. And I have the joy of knowing that our “goodbyes” are temporary. That I will see them again, even as I will see my Heavenly Father someday. So, while today holds in it the sadness of watching my Dad suffer in his last minutes of earthly life, it also holds the promise of reunion and restoration. My Dad will never again have to suffer; neither will my Mom. My future probably holds a few more “goodbyes.” But it also holds “Hello!” “Welcome Home!” and “I’m so happy to see you again!”

Photo by Polina Zimmerman on Pexels.com

I thank God for the lives of both my parents– for their testimonies of faith, for their good examples, and for the wisdom, laughter, and love they shared. And I thank God that their deaths were not the end of that love and joy. In fact, it will be even better to share someday what we could never have here on earth–eternal peace and freedom from grief and loss.

Twenty-five years seems like a long time, but it is a drop in the bucket of time, and nothing in light of eternity. That truth brings me great comfort as I face today. I hope you will be encouraged and comforted as well. Heaven is a place with no more “goodbyes.” And that radically changes the way I say “Goodbye” here on earth!

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Driven to Pray?

I met up with an old schoolmate last week, and he asked a question that made me think a lot. He wondered whether our generation– specifically our classmates and friends, were “driven.” His observation was that many of his nieces and nephews seem to have a lot of drive and ambition that he doesn’t remember seeing (or experiencing) in our youth. He noted that few of our friends have gone on to become lawyers or doctors, engineers or CEOs.

I wasn’t sure how to answer his observation. I started, but didn’t complete, a master’s degree. I know several of our friends who are teachers, paralegals, and business owners. Many have what most people would consider at least moderately “successful” lives– happy families, rewarding careers, the respect of others in their communities. And yet very few have distinguished themselves on the national or international front– aside, perhaps, from him! He is a tenured professor, with several published books, and has studied and/or taught at several universities around the world. If HE can’t remember being driven or ambitious, how does he explain his own “success?”

But the observation struck a nerve with me on a personal level. I know that many of my former classmates and long-time friends may find it odd that I have “settled” for the life I live. I own a business, but it is a modest one. I have taught and worked in libraries, but I could have chosen to become a professor or administrator or library director; I could have taken any of a number of more “important” or lucrative positions over the years. But I wasn’t driven to “succeed” in that way. Did I waste my potential? Was I lazy or fearful of success? Did I not have the potential, or did I not have the drive to become “more” than what I am?

Ultimately, I am driven (I hope) by the Holy Spirit. Not to become a “successful” person by the world’s standards, or even by my own ambitions, but to become the person God made me to be– a person who reflects His character and His priorities. I hope that I am becoming a “successful” follower of Christ– no matter what that looks like on the surface to classmates, neighbors, or family. I don’t need to be rich, famous, popular, or “important.” I DO need to be developing Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control (Galatians 5:22-23)

This week, as I have been meditating on the idea of “drive” and ambition and “success,” I started thinking about how it relates to prayer. I am driven to become more like Christ, and that includes being driven to live a life of prayer. But what really drives my prayer life? Because my pursuit of prayer and my practice of prayer may be “driven” by something other than pure motives:

  • Am I driven to pray because I believe that I am “ticking a box?” Have I read the Bible today? Check. Have I prayed some kind of prayer at some point? Check. Have I done a random act of kindness? Check. This is not really a spiritual pursuit of prayer. In fact, it can become idolatry– I can pray because I believe the act of praying makes me “better” or “good enough” to deserve God’s forgiveness or mercy. This drive comes from my own desire to control my growth and behavior. It is not “wrong” to set goals or make lists and stick to them. (After all, we are to be developing discipline and self-control!) But we must be careful not to shift our priorities from God’s discipline to our own lists and habits.
  • Am I driven to pray when/because others are watching? Am I seeking their approval more than I am seeking God’s face? Am I seeking to be “important” or pious, when God is asking me to be humble and obedient?
  • Perhaps I am praying out of fear, worry, or doubt. I am driven to pray in the same way that others are driven to consult a horoscope or carry a “lucky charm.” God wants me to trust Him. He knows that I will not always be perfect in Faith, but my prayers should not be double-minded (see James chapter one). I should not be using prayer to “hedge my bets” when faced with adversity. It is good to call out to God if we are frightened or uncertain, but we must develop Faith over fear. And in the end, God also wants us to be joyful in remembering and trusting in His promises
  • Am I driven by guilt or shame? It is good to confess our sins. But we also have to remember that IF we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us, and to cleanse us (1 John 1:9). If I am still confessing the same sins over and over, is it because I didn’t really trust God to forgive me, or because I didn’t really want to repent and change my ways– I just wanted a “free pass” to keep sinning, but not feel guilty for the consequences?
  • Maybe I am driven to pray for others because I think MY prayers can save them, or influence their life. Again, this can become idolatry. We have been given the amazing opportunity to pray for others. God already knows their needs– better than we can! And God can do miracles without any input from us. Yet He chooses to give us the privilege of praying and participating in His work! Again, it is commanded that we pray for one another, but we must remember to Whom we are praying. Our prayers for others are part of a circle– God’s Spirit moves us to compassion and concern– we take that compassion and lift up others before His throne. He knows what is best; He will do what is best. He wants us to participate, not to dictate!
  • Sometimes, I may be driven to “dictate” a particular outcome in my own life. My own ambition may be to become what I want, rather than what God wants for me. This can be a tricky concept. There are ambitions that God lays on our hearts– they are not wrong, but God’s timing may not match ours. I prayed for years to be married; to “find” the “right” mate, and to “be” the right mate. I even prayed that God would change my heart if my ambition was “wrong.” God’s timing was certainly not my timing. The ambition was not wrong, but my patience and trust needed to be developed.
  • Perhaps I am NOT driven to pray…maybe I lack the focus or lack the drive in my walk with Christ because I am drifting away from my first Love. I am driven to seek after something other than intimacy with my Creator. Maybe I am so content with my life “as it is” that I am not seeking direction and correction from the Holy Spirit. Perhaps I do not have the compassion and drive to pray for others because I do not see them fully as God sees them. Perhaps I do not trust God fully with the “little” things in my life because I do not see my need for His guidance.

I think it is not a bad thing to wrestle periodically with questions like this. Maybe today is the right time to ask, “Am I driven to pray? What drives me to my knees? What should be driving me there?”

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“Praying” Hide and Seek With God

A strange image popped into my head the other day while praying with our Wednesday morning prayer group from church. I was trying to express the amazing paradox that we are being pursued by a God who is omnipresent, while seeking the same omnipresent God. And the image God gave me was one of playing a game– “Peek-a-boo” or “Hide and Seek.” Of course, prayer is not just a game– it is nothing less than communicating with the Sovereign Lord of the Universe! But God delights in our prayers, and He delights in delighting us as we learn and experience new aspects of His Character.

I love to play “Peek-a-Boo” with babies and toddlers. They love the idea of being “discovered” and “finding” someone. There is a moment of supreme joy in finally seeing oneself in the eyes of the beholder– that moment of recognition and reaction to being the focus of someone’s attention–the joy of intimate connection, “I SEE YOU!” But the game only brings joy if both of us are present and interacting. It brings no joy to a baby to see me staring off into space, or glued to my cell phone. The baby might be intrigued, or even comforted by my nearness, but there is a deeper thrill when she knows that my eyes will shine as they are revealed– looking directly at her! And I get great joy from seeing the baby’s delight.

The same is true of “Hide and Seek.” Yes, the idea is to hide from sight–for awhile. But what fun is it to hide and never be found? What fun to search for someone who has gone away and has no desire to be discovered again? The joy of the game is in that moment of discovery and being discovered– even though we know the other person is somewhere close by, there is that moment of re-connection that brings a jolt of delight. AHA!! I have found you! AHA! You searched for me and found me!

Photo by Nicola Barts on Pexels.com

This is the great tragedy of Sin. Sin causes us to want to hide and NOT be found. (See Genesis 3:8-10). We live in shame and fear, dreading the thought of God finding the “real” us, the secrets we carry, and the ugliness of our hearts. We are frightened by the thought that God is omnipresent– that He sees us; that He sees THROUGH us! We do not want to “Face” God’s justice, and see disappointment and anger in His face. Instead, we want to run away, to cover our eyes, if He will not cover His.

Conversely, this is the great joy of being a Christian. We don’t hide from God’s presence; instead, we turn to Him in delight and recognition. We pray to BE found and to be seen! Finding God, and being found BY Him, involves no fear, no condemnation (Romans 8:1), and no shame. God sees us– all our secrets and shame– through the blood of Christ’s redemption. We are “Born” again– like babies, we can revel in the connection with Our Loving Father. Like a child waiting for the “boo” in Peek-a-Boo, we anticipate the day when we will see Him face-to-face in all His Glory; in the meantime, each glimpse of His Grace, each revelation of His Faithfulness, builds our Hope and our Joy, excites our anticipation, and makes our Heart yearn for the future.

God is omnipresent. His spirit is all around us all the time. As Christians, His Spirit is indwelling– He is not just all around us, but He lives and works IN us and THROUGH us! And yet, God delights in those moments when we turn away from the world around us to focus on just Him. In the same way, even though God is everywhere, He seeks after us and pursues us with a passion and devotion that knows no limits– “Here I am!” “I SEE YOU!” “You are the one who makes my eyes shine!” “I LOVE YOU!”

Today, as you turn away from the world to focus on the Lover of Your Soul, may you find that incredible delight in recognizing His Presence for what it is– Divine, Eternal, Limitless, and Loving.

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What to Throw Away…

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also

Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)

When my mom died earlier this year, she left a house filled with “stuff.” Mom saved EVERYTHING! She saved old calendars, expired drivers’ licenses, used peanut butter jars, all her children’s baby clothes and shoes, graduation and wedding invitations, Christmas Cards, broken cameras, and so much more. She owned a seven-bedroom farmhouse, but she lived for many years in just a few square feet in four different rooms. She slept on half a twin mattress; the other half was covered with boxes. She ate on just a patch of her kitchen table; the rest was piled over with papers and “stuff.” There was a narrow path through the dining room to the bathroom and bedroom. Mom was a hoarder.

Mom was also stubbornly independent, and refused to get rid of things or have others help her throw things away. It contributed to her falling and breaking her hip, and later falling and breaking her leg. We eventually persuaded her to move to assisted living and later to a small house that she could navigate safely. But she would not sell the old house or let us throw away her “treasures.”

Shortly before she died, Mom gave us permission to begin the difficult task of “going through” her house. She joked that we would all hate her after she died and we had to finish the task. We joked back that we would never be able to finish in our own lifetimes! Mom knew that she should have thrown things away. But she had chosen to live surrounded by the memories of broken toys and yellowed letters of yesterday.

Well, the house is almost empty. We decided to sell it, and had to clean it out so it could be shown. The bulk of the work fell to my brother and his wife. They are retired, and they live closest to the old house. But even so, it has taken months, and tons of sweat, to find the floors and walls and windows that were covered and blocked by “stuff.” There are still a few pieces of furniture and some items in the basement, but hundreds of boxes, bags, crates, and containers had to be taken to my brother’s house, my house, my sister’s house, donation centers, recycling centers, and, sadly, to the dump.

We had very few “things” left from my father. His family had lived through a house fire when he was a young man, and he learned early that even precious things cannot be saved. He tried to throw things out; Mom would “rescue” some from the trash and bring them back in! He saved a few momentos, mostly photos, and when he died, he was no longer there to advise Mom about what must be put in the trash. But even his “stuff” was hidden among worthless old shoes and dishes and old boxes.

My Mom DID have several treasures– at least to us. She had saved school papers from our childhood, birth and baptism certificates, photos, my dad’s old work uniform, my grandfather’s Navy cap, afghans and doilies my grandmother made, and several worn and tattered Bibles she had so faithfully studied over the years. And Mom was generous in her own way– she sent out thousands of greeting cards and gave wonderful and thoughtful gifts to her many friends and family members. But she kept broken things, rusty and dusty things, used-up things, and things that were useless. And the hardest part of sorting through over 20,000 square feet of “stuff” was finding and determining what to keep and what to throw away.

Life is a lot like that house full of “stuff. It is full of memories, experiences, hopes, dreams, guilt, fears, relationships, emotions, and disappointments. And we have to make choices about what to treasure and what to throw away. Here are some guidelines I’ve learned through my recent experience:

  • Treasure the lesson– throw away the bitterness.
  • Keep the memories– throw away the t-shirt.
  • Save the relationship– throw away the anger.
  • Keep the recipe– throw away the container/magazine it came with.
  • Eat the chocolate–but throw away the fancy box it came in.
  • Throw away the broken dishes, the worn towels, and the pot without a handle.
  • Treasure the stories– trash the dusty, musty books (Yes, that’s coming from a librarian!)
  • Don’t just worth on appearance alone–DON’T throw away an opportunity to show kindness where it is least expected and most needed. There may be treasure among the rubbish!
  • Use the stationery you got for Christmas–throw away the wrapping paper.
  • Throw away last year’s calendar– those days are gone. Make space for this year.
  • Keep your promises–let go of your disappointments.
  • Hold your dreams loosely– be ready to accept what IS as a gift; what WILL BE as a mystery.
  • Treasure the empty spaces in your house and in your life– throw away the extra baggage.
  • Keep space for new blessings–pass the old blessings on to others.
  • Things can never take the place of time spent with the people you love. I appreciate some of the things Mom left behind, but the real treasure was the wisdom she imparted, the laughter and tears we shared over the years, and the faith she lived out as she loved others.

Mom’s joke about us hating her after she was gone– that didn’t happen. And our joking prediction was wrong, too. It was frustrating to go through everything; it was hard work and it might not have been necessary if Mom had chosen differently. But it wasn’t wasted work. We still have dozens of boxes to sort through, but I am finding small miracles and memories (and lessons!) in each one. Mom may not have been able to judge what she should throw away, but she did know what to keep above all!

I hope I am learning what to throw away, as well as what to give away and what to keep. Mostly, I hope I am learning to let go of the things that might prevent me from accepting better things. God will not always take away the things that hold us back, or bury us in the past. But He asks us to store up our treasure, not in a house or a storage barn, or a safe deposit box, but with Him! Things will break, rust, rot, and be lost. Feelings and thoughts can keep us trapped in the past, and blind to the present and future. But God’s gifts– Faith, Hope, Love, Peace, Patience, Discipline, Forgiveness–these last forever, and never lose their value!

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As Far as the East is From the West..

In blogging about prayer and in keeping a prayer journal, there is one type of prayer I don’t dwell on very often.  Prayers of confession and repentance are very important, but I don’t  include them in my journal and I don’t spend much time analyzing them.  It’s not that I want to ignore them or that I want to give a false impression that I don’t say them.

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I’m a saint–but only in the sense that Christ’s blood is my atonement and my only hope of salvation.  He who started the work is still working, and there’s a lot of work yet to be done.  So, while I include prayers of confession and repentance in my practice of pursuing prayer, I don’t write them down or share them publicly.

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Here are some of the reasons I don’t spend more time talking about confession:

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  • Confession is not meant to be a public spectacle.  It is generally private and very personal between an individual and God.  Apologies may be public, and repentance may include public atonement or recompense, but those are not prayer; rather they are the actions taken in conjunction with  and as a result of prayer and confession.
  • Confession is fundamental– it’s not a prayer option, or a stylistic preference–every one of us has sinned, and we all need to admit to our sins, bring them before the throne of God’s grace, and ask for his forgiveness.  Hiding sins, denying sins, or lying about them will get in the way of all our other prayers.
  • Writing about past sins keeps them alive and keeps the focus on me and on my faults, rather than on God and on His Grace.
  • Making confession public has a tendency to devolve into gossip and self-justification.  Descriptions of my sinful actions will necessarily be from my incomplete and very biased point of view.  Other people can be misrepresented and hurt.
  • But the last reason is my favorite– I don’t waste time writing down and discussing past sins because GOD HAS FORGOTTEN THEM!  Writing them down, rehearsing them, analyzing them–even analyzing how I might approach confession won’t change God’s response:

10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:10-12 New International Version (NIV)
  • The key is that we DO confess– humbly, consistently, and with a heart of true repentance.  What follows is a free and forgiven conscience, no longer weighted down or pulled off focus by guilt and doubt.
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How Great Thou Art!

“O Lord My God! When I in awesome wonder consider all the worlds Thy hands have made…Then sings my soul…” (emphasis added) When was the last time you spontaneously broke into the kind of wonder and praise that we find in this old familiar hymn? If it has been awhile, let today be the day that you joyously and loudly sing praise to our Awesome and Great God.

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So often, I come to prayer focused on myself– my needs, my unworthiness, my circumstances. But prayer is the act of communicating with the One who is all-sufficient, all-worthy, all-powerful, and all-loving. As we pray, it will often happen that all the cares and concerns melt away in the wonder and insight that we are actually talking to GOD!

But there are times when we miss the great opportunity to fully open ourselves to the Glory and Majesty of Our Father. Yes, we communicate; Yes, He still hears us. But we fail to come away with the full blessing of having spoken WITH God. We speak TO Him; we even speak OF Him. But when we speak WITH God, we are in the presence of such majesty, that we are left beyond words! Our Soul Sings! Our Heart is overflowing! Our mind is overwhelmed with the concept!

Prayer is so much more than what we say; so much more than what we think. God is so much bigger, so much greater, so much MORE than anything we can describe, anything we can imagine! And THIS is who we approach when we pray.

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If you have the opportunity, spend some time in nature today. Look up at the sky– clouds, stars, and the endless canopy of space– and let the Majesty of God fill your senses as you make time for prayer. If you cannot get outdoors, find a picture or film or website to remind you of the grandeur of God’s wonderful creation. And then, sing out, shout out, pray and praise the Maker of the Universe, and the Lover you Your Soul! This same God of the beginning is the God who was, who IS and who is to come! The same miracles He has done in the past, He will do NOW and through all time.

There is NOTHING too big or too difficult for God. There is nothing too small or unimportant for Him to do, either. And what He does, He does with Joy and in Love! He rejoices over every one who comes to salvation. He rejoices over every one who comes to Him empty and tired and discouraged– and He rejoices to give them rest, and hope, and strength for the journey ahead. He offers Grace and Beauty from ashes. He offers Eternal Life and Everlasting Peace!

And if that doesn’t make your soul sing, I don’t know of anything else that can!

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For more information about the hymn– its origins and meaning– check out this site: https://www.godtube.com/popular-hymns/how-great-thou-art/

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When Prayer is Not Enough…

“Stop praying and DO something!”

“I’m sick of thoughts and prayers…it’s time for action.”

“Prayer doesn’t work!”

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What happens when your prayers don’t seem to make any difference? People around you complain that you are passive, even apathetic about critical needs. “People are dying!” “People are suffering, and you want to stop and pray?!”

YES! Buy why do I continue to advocate for prayer in the face of overwhelming injustice and evil? Shouldn’t I be talking about action? Shouldn’t I be posting plans to end injustice or poverty or war? Shouldn’t I be willing to say that sometimes, prayer just isn’t enough?

Well, firstly, I believe that Prayer is far more powerful than most people know. Prayer IS enough, because GOD IS ENOUGH! I can’t stop gun violence, or human trafficking, or an epidemic. I can’t– not with all the resources in the world; not with all the action I can muster; not with any effort or plan or army of willing human helpers. And neither can anyone else. I can march in protest, I can write and call and badger legislators to change laws or enforce the laws we already have. Such actions might make me feel better– they might even have some immediate effect. But they won’t “fix” the continuing and underlying problem of Sin. Only God can do that, and He WILL do it. He may choose to work through human agency to right some wrongs or change the immediate future, but our world is broken, and God’s ultimate plan is bigger than just a convenient patch for Sin’s consequences.

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However, I will concede that sometimes prayer, by itself, is not nearly “enough.” Prayer must be paired with Faith. I know many people who say that prayer “doesn’t work,” not because they didn’t pray, or weren’t sincere in their desire or their wish for God to act on their behalf, but because they believe in their desire– their wish or their plan– more than they believe in God’s goodness or His ability to bring good out of whatever struggle we are facing.

This is not a simple concept– that God is eternally good even in the midst of evil and horror– it can be painful beyond words. God may choose to allow the sin of drunk driving to take the life of an innocent person in our family, or leave us permanently paralyzed. Or He may allow war to strip us of all that we own– our home and our freedom. How can we possibly view such circumstances as “good?” Why does God allow for violence and injustice? Why does He allow it to continue– seemingly unabated and unchecked? How can God call Himself “Good” while letting evil touch our lives and the lives of millions innocent people? Praying — and continuing to pray– in such circumstances seems like a mockery of our pain and grief. It seems like God is deaf to our cries– indifferent, or even watching smugly from a distance. Why pray to such a God?

But IS this what God is really like? And why do we believe the worst about Him, rather than trust that His wisdom and Love are actually greater than what we can comprehend or experience in the present? Why do we blame God for the evil we see in others? Why do we ignore our own actions or inaction that often contribute to our situation? Why do we believe that God “owes” us a life without sorrow and pain– even as we see others suffering the consequences of sin– sometimes because of our failures? Why do we insist that God always act in accordance with OUR desires, when we often will not act in accordance with His? Why do we “test” God with prayers in our times of trouble, when we will not trouble Him with our prayers in times of peace and plenty? If anyone should have led a life without sorrow or pain, it should have been Jesus. Jesus prayed all the time– He even taught others how to pray (Matthew 6:9-15). He was completely obedient to His Father. Yet God’s own Son faced heartbreak, betrayal, and a painful, unjust death on the Cross. He wept over the death of a close friend– a death He Himself could have prevented (and later reversed)! (John 11) He was in such deep distress in the Garden of Gethsemane that He sweat blood! (Luke 22:44) God’s plan is not for us to live a life free of trouble, but a life of victory OVER despair and doubt!

Seeking “more” than prayer is often seeking “more” than God–as if we can do better on our own. As though we can out-love, out-give, out-do, and over-power the God of creation;the God of the Cross, and the God of the Resurrection and the Life. Deriding prayer is deriding the God to whom we pray– we minimize His power and His compassion while inflating our own. If God doesn’t exist, one might argue that it doesn’t matter– but then, why waste time deriding what doesn’t exist?! Prayer matters because God DOES exist, and because God matters Trusting God means being willing to wait and accept His will; even if we don’t get the answer we want. God’s ways are not our ways, but that doesn’t mean they are inferior or ineffective. God will not “undo” our circumstances, but He will help us through our circumstances. He won’t take away our grief. But He will shape it into something with purpose– if we let Him.

Finally, there are times when prayer must be paired with action. It IS enough to pray for God to act. But when God prompts US to act, and we do not, our prayers are empty words. Faith may lead us to wait, but it won’t lead us to sit idly by when we have the opportunity to help. Faith may lead me to keep taking the next step– even when I can’t see the way forward. Faith may lead me to let go of a dream I thought would be “enough.” It may lead me into the valley of the shadow of death– in my own life, or on behalf of someone else. I can’t take away someone’s grief at the loss of a child– but I can share in it. I can listen and offer friendship, rather than a quick platitude and a few empty words. I can continue to be there when others fade away. I can’t undo the horrors of war– but I can help care for refugees, and I can work to build peace in my neighborhood, even as I pray. I can take the next step in making someone else’s burden just a little lighter, and making the world a little brighter wherever God gives me the chance. And prayer is one way I can focus on the source of strength, wisdom, and compassion to allow me to do my part better.

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The next time you hear someone saying that prayer is “not enough,” remember that no human effort will ever be “enough” to do what only God can do! But prayer taps into the power and grace that is “sufficient” for all our greatest needs.

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