Tag: pride

Why I Don’t Pray

Of course, I DO pray. I pray a lot. I write a blog about prayer. But there are times when I find it hard to pray; times when my prayers seem feeble or awkward; times when I just don’t pray. So how does this happen, and why?

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

Well, there are many reasons why our prayer life can go through a dry season:

  • “I’m just too busy.” Sometimes, I let busyness and distractions keep me from spending quality time in prayer. I like to pray first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. But I’m not naturally a morning person, and sometimes, the night seems to get away from me. And my prayer life can suffer.
  • “I’d rather worry about it.” This may sound like a strange statement, but sometimes, praying about a situation seems like I’m giving up “agency” over the problem. Trusting God and letting go are easier said than done. Worrying about a problem, imagining all the things I “should” be doing, or that others should be doing to fix it gives me a sense of ownership over my circumstances.
  • “I don’t really want to talk to God about ‘that’.” God already knows my heart and my mind, but I want to hold on to the illusion that God loves me because I’m so good, not acknowledging that God’s love is His gift, not my reward. God wants to hear the ugly parts of my life. Yes, I stand justified by the work of Christ on the cross. I don’t have to wallow in my mistakes or beat myself up over all the ways I “fall short of the Glory of God”. But the more I try to pretend I am someone I’m not, the harder it is to remember why God loves me– He loves me because He IS Love!
  • “God isn’t interested in this little thing.” OR “God is tired of hearing about this chronic problem.” I can stop praying about something because I expect God to respond like a person– maybe even like me. I get tired of listening to the same things over and over. I get tired of wrestling with the same issues. I want to come to God with a problem and have it solved– quickly, easily, and permanently. But God’s ways are not my ways. And God wants me to trust Him, regardless of the situation.
  • “I’m not so sure about God right now. I feel let down, abandoned, or unheard.” Doubts and emotions can be so strong– if we let them take over, we will isolate, even from God. Praying during such times can even feel like hypocrisy.

There are many reasons and excuses that can cause us not to pray. I know, because I have fallen victim to them. But ultimately, they boil down to one thing– a choice.

Choosing to pray can be difficult. It involves discipline, faith, humility, and a burning desire to spend time with our Heavenly Father– even when our emotions and circumstances get in the way. It is helpful to remember why I DO pray:

  • God wants to hear from me. I may not always FEEL this, but the Bible is clear about it– God WANTS a relationship with me, with you, with each one of His children.
  • God knows the human heart. He knows our weaknesses, and He knows our hurts and how we have hurt others. And He will not turn His back on those who seek Him. There is nothing I can say to Him in prayer that will cause Him to withhold His love, His forgiveness, and His mercy. He is in the business of redemption!
  • God’s ways are not my ways. If I feel that God is distant because I don’t see Him clearly, or hear Him directly, that doesn’t mean He is not there. Often, I don’t want to rely on Faith– I want proof of God’s favor; I want proof of God’s protection; I want to be able to “prove” God to others, and to justify myself. Prayer in the midst of doubt and pain is the very act of dying to that need and talking to God “anyway.”

There are still times when I don’t pray as often or as earnestly as I feel I should. But, like anything else worth pursuing, it’s worth the journey and the occasional struggle. It doesn’t get “easy”– but it does get easier, and richer, and more fulfilling.

If you haven’t been praying lately, or if prayer has become dry– DON’T GIVE UP. Don’t beat yourself up. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep on in the struggle. And if prayer has been wonderful and refreshing lately, WONDERFUL! But don’t trust in the feeling of powerful prayer– trust in the One to whom you are praying! He alone makes the pursuit worth it all.

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“Better-than” Prayers

I know a lot of “Prayer Warriors”– people who pray often, and fervently, and are known for their prayer habit. But I often hear a very disturbing statement in relation to such people. The thinking goes that if someone is a “Prayer Warrior” they get results. They have a direct line to Heaven– different and “better” than normal pray-ers. There are people who will hunt down a prayer warrior, believing that this action will be more effective than praying about an issue or problem themselves. Others try to emulate or copy the praying style of “prayer warriors,” thinking that the way someone words their prayers will make a difference in whether or not God will hear them. Still others will refuse to pray in public, because they say their prayers are not good enough. And this should not be!

We have a terrible tendency to compare. We compare our appearance, our social or economic status, our skills and abilities, and even our spirituality. “She’s so close to God!” “He knows the Bible so much better than I do!” And we think this determines whether or not God will listen to and act on our prayers. And Christians who could pray more often, more joyfully, and, yes, more effectively, simply give up on pursuing prayer, because they think others are so much “better” at it.

God is not a respecter of persons. His willingness to listen to our prayers does not depend on how many Bible verses we can quote or how many church services we attend each week, or how eloquently we can pray. God does not play favorites– He does not respond more quickly or more powerfully to some people because they call Him “Heavenly Father” instead of “Almighty God” or because they kneel instead of sitting, or because they are somehow “holier” than their neighbor.

God wants to hear from YOU. And yes, it can be a blessing and a comfort to know that others are praying for you or with you, but we should not measure our prayers against those of others around us. Especially if we allow ourselves to get discouraged in our pursuit of “better” prayer.

That said, there are a few things that can make our prayers “better”:

  • Be sincere– God doesn’t play games. He doesn’t respond to flattery, falsehoods, foolishness, or exaggerations. God already knows what you need, what you’re thinking, and who you are– who you REALLY are. Prayer that tries to cover up your real emotions or thoughts; prayer that tries to make you sound pious, needy, devout, etc., are not fooling anyone but you…
  • Be still–take time to get quiet before God– so that you can listen as well as speak! Meditate on WHO it is you are talking with, instead of just what you want to say.
  • Be submitted– Prayer is not about getting God to “deliver” on your wish list. Don’t just pretend to be pious, but determine that you will accept God’s perfect will and timing. And that you will accept God’s correction when you are having trouble accepting His will!
  • Be faithful–don’t give up. Pursuing Prayer means practicing prayer. You may find it gets easier to pray as you stumble through awkward prayers, instead of trying to be perfect out of the gate. Most “Prayer Warriors” started out the same way. Anyone–ANYONE–can be a prayer warrior!

Such “better” prayers will not impress God. God isn’t about being impressed. He IS about being personal, loving, wise, and sovereign. But such prayers will be “better than” those prayed in pride, or prayed inconsistently, or without fully acknowledging God’s character and authority.

My goal is not to be a “better” pray-er than someone else. I may never be acknowledged by others as a “Prayer Warrior.” But my goal is to be disciplined and trained in the pursuit of Prayer. Every day, we face spiritual warfare– in that sense we are all prayer “warriors.” And I may be a foot soldier in this war, but I want to be the best foot soldier I can be! I want to be “better than” I was yesterday, and even better tomorrow!

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But Did I Pray?

I saw you at the store today.
I saw your stressed-out look
And your nervous glances.
I nodded and said, “Hello.”
I didn’t ask about your family–
Your husband’s job search,
Your child’s illness…
I felt so bad for you.

But did I Pray?

She came into my shop yesterday.
She was slurring her words a little
As she tried to focus.
She didn’t meet my eyes.
I was polite to her.
I felt guilty because I was a bit
Relieved when she left.
I wondered if she would be ok.

But did I Pray?

I worked into the night making pies
For the church bake sale.
Peach, cherry, pecan–
Perfect crusts for each one.
I gave my best effort.

But did I Pray?

I got up and wrote my blog for the day.
I spoke of prayer and the need to cry out,
To share my heart in prayer.
I quoted scripture, shared personal anecdotes
And offered suggestions about how to
Start and end the day–

But did I Pray?

Lord, forgive me for the times
I’ve failed to come to You–
In my pride, or in my need,
In my confusion or awkwardness.
In my sorrow, or in my joy.
Help me to seek You FIRST
So I don’t have to think back and ask

Did I Pray?

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“I Would Prefer Not To..”

Years ago, our high school class read a classic short story by the American author, Herman Melville. Bartleby the Scrivener tells the story of an unusual clerk– one who begins as a good worker, efficient and conscientious, but ends up dying in prison, hopeless, ruined, and broken. His tragic downward spiral begins one day when the lawyer for whom he works asks him to examine a short document. This is a commonplace request, much like asking a writer to proofread her final draft before submitting it to the editor. However, Bartleby responds by saying “I would prefer not to.” The startled lawyer decides not to force the issue, and gives the task to someone else.

Bartleby’s refusal to do what is expected of him escalates until he no longer does ANY work. He refuses to work, refuses to leave the office, and refuses to eat. He isn’t angry or violent, but he remains defiant until the very end.

So it is with us when we are living in sin and rebellion against God. It may start out small– some little habit or attitude. We know it is wrong, but instead of obeying God’s word, we calmly say, “I would prefer not to…” not to tell the truth, not to turn away from porn, not to help my neighbor, not to agree with God about my behavior.

8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 He will not always chide,
    nor will he keep his anger forever.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:6-12 (ESV)

God is patient. He is gracious and kind. He does not treat us as our offenses deserve. He gives us the chance to repent. He offers forgiveness. But every time we say to God, “I would prefer not to,” we get a little more like Bartleby– isolating ourselves, wasting our potential to be all that God created us to be, growing more defiant and more rebellious, until we waste away into a prison of our own making, and, finally, death.

One of the things that makes Melville’s story so disturbing is that the narrator keeps trying to explain away Bartleby’s defiance–perhaps he is having trouble with his eyesight and doesn’t want to admit it; perhaps he was traumatized at a previous job; maybe there is a reason for his passive aggression. But in all of his attempts to understand, the narrator cannot save Bartleby from prison and death.

Understanding sin cannot change us. Excusing sin does nothing to stop its consequences (see Romans 6:23). No one killed Bartleby, yet he died because he “would prefer not to” do the things he needed to do to live. His small act of defiance, which starts out singular and almost heroic (after all, who wouldn’t like to tell the boss, “I would prefer not to,” every once in awhile?), sounds innocuous. Such a little thing to refuse. Surely God would not punish us for so small a thing…until one small thing leads to another…and another; a bigger rebellion; a numbing complacency; loss of perspective; a heart of stone; isolation; starvation; imprisonment; death.

What am I refusing to do for God today? What am I refusing to give up? Refusing to admit? Refusing to listen to? Am I excusing myself? Do I tell myself I am not in rebellion because I have been polite in my refusal to obey? Do I comfort myself that my rebellion is really just a matter of “preference,” and will not be consequential? That God’s Holiness is less important than my comfort or convenience?

Many people coast through life in the belief that God is SO merciful and SO loving that He can’t also be Holy and Just– that His commands are really suggestions; that His wrath is mythical; that our own wisdom is sufficient for living a “good” life and pleasing Him. But God isn’t concerned about whether we live a “good” life– He wants us to have an abundant life– filled with joy and peace, love and relationship, both now and forevermore. In fact, He would “prefer not to” punish us. He is not “willing” (i.e. desirous) that any should perish (2 Peter 3:9), but that everyone would some to repentance. That doesn’t mean that He won’t punish those who refuse to obey Him, or those who refuse to turn from their rebellion and trust Him; only that He will continue to give us the opportunity to recognize our need for forgiveness.

10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

John 15:10-15 ESV– taken from biblegateway.com

God has made it possible for us to be more than servants. We don’t have to respond to God as Bartleby responded to his boss– though God has the ultimate authority to demand our loyalty and obedience. Through Jesus, we are sons and daughters and friends! When God gives us commands, like “Love one another,” they are still commands. But His heart is that we should trust that all of His commands are righteous, life-giving, and in our eternal best interest. But some of us are still saying, “I would prefer not to.”

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Pharisee Prayers

9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed[a] thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 19:9-14 (ESV)

I study prayer. I write about prayer. But I am not an “expert” on prayer. That is not to say that one cannot become proficient in prayer or learn to pray “better.” But prayer is ultimately the pursuit of a relationship. I can pray eloquently in public. I can pray earnestly at home. I can pray fervently every day. And I will still pursue prayer– “more” “deeper” “better” prayer.

But it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that my relationship with God is based on my own efforts. That the “more” or “better” I pray, the more God will listen; the more God will accept me. That is a lie. God doesn’t want my “best.” He wants my all. He wants me to come to Him “just as I am”– not in an idealized version of myself.

Jesus spoke of this kind of prayer in the parable of the Pharisee and the Sinner. The Pharisee knows how to pray eloquently about himself. He is confident in his own righteousness. He does not need to ask God for anything. He really doesn’t need to thank God for anything. He has secured his own righteousness in his own eyes, and he wants to thank God for noticing (and surely rewarding?) his goodness.

We are sinners saved by grace. Yet we often act like sinners saved by our own cleverness in accepting God’s gracious gifts. Sure, Jesus paid a price for our sin on Calvary– but that was nearly 2,000 years ago. We are saved! We are justified! We “get it.” And our prayers are offered up in pride and self-confidence. God will hear us. God loves us. God will be impressed by our discipline and our fervor. When we do this, we are like the arrogant Pharisee in the parable. Such prayers do not honor God. They do not honor the work of the Cross. They do not reflect a right relationship with our LORD and Savior.

However, we are not exactly like the Sinner in this parable, either. If we have confessed our sins, and believe on Jesus Christ, our sins HAVE BEEN forgiven, and we have been justified. We do not need to offer sacrifices or beg for mercy over and over again for our past offenses. Our guilt has been washed away. We come humbly, but we come as sons and daughters of the King– co-heirs with Jesus.

God does not want wimpy, doubtful prayers. He does not want us to waver or hide from Him. He wants us to come boldly to the throne of Grace (See Hebrews 4;14-16). But we do so knowing that it is Jesus’ righteousness that gives us the right and His love that gives us the desire to come. It is the finished work of the Resurrection that makes us confident. We should pray honestly and humbly–whether in thanksgiving or confession of new sins– but with confidence and joy in our restored relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

Let us never forget that we pray to an all-powerful, Holy God, who is also gracious and merciful. We can come with TRUE thanksgiving for what God has done; for who He is; and for who we are IN Him.

“Lord, I thank you that YOU are not like other men and women. I thank you that You have made a way for me to be cleansed. I thank you that no matter what I have done, or what I do, Your love for me never changes. And I thank you that You listen to, and answer my prayers! You are Holy, Faithful, and True.”

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Intelligent Fools

The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”
    They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds;
    there is none who does good.

Psalm 14:1 (ESV)

Only fools say in their hearts, “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, and their actions are evil;
not one of them does good!

Psalm 53:1 (NLT)

One thing that seems to surprise many intellectuals is the discovery that other intellectuals are Christians! There is a certain class of thinkers who believe that only ignorant people “need” to believe in God. Many of them posit that the concept of “god” is outdated and primitive, steeped in superstition, and unnecessary for anyone. Others claim that any belief in a supreme deity, a Sovereign God who has authority over all humankind, and all of nature, is actually dangerous

If God could be discovered by intellect alone, this might be disturbing for those of us who are not certified “geniuses.” If mere knowledge about God could save us, we could trust intellectuals to be our “saviors” and spiritual guides. But just because someone is intelligent and learned doesn’t mean that they have attained wisdom. Wisdom is a gift of God, and it begins with acknowledging a simple fact– God exists. This does not come automatically with knowledge about God–such knowledge can be dismissed, twisted, and even lost. If God exists– not just as a concept or a long-lost myth–certain other truths must be acknowledged. Chief among these is the truth that I am NOT God.

Fools come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and intellects. There are people of limited intellectual capacity who are very wise. There are intelligent people who live as fools. Foolishness comes when we deny God– whether we deny His very existence, or His authority over our lives– and live as though we are the supreme authority in our own lives.

“The Fool says in his HEART, ‘There is no God.'” Foolishness doesn’t begin in the brain. It begins in the heart. The more I believe that I KNOW better than others–including God–the less I will listen to instruction, advice, and wisdom. The more I will do what I want– and justify it, even if others get hurt. The Apostle Paul–no intellectual slouch himself– warns us in 1 Corinthians 8:1 that “Knowledge puffs up..” Not all intellectuals are snobs, but it is easy to become hardened to others if they believe they know more or better than everyone they meet. And Paul’s warning is to believers! Just because we believe that God exists, we can be foolishly puffed up by our very knowledge of scripture, and ignore God’s sovereign call to love our neighbors! We can be foolish “Christians” who acknowledge that Christ exists, but deny His Lordship in our lives.

There are many intelligent Atheists. Some of them lead moral lives, and do many things that we might see as “good.” They give to charities, advocate for healthful living, a clean environment, and world peace. So why does the Bible use such strong language to denounce them as fools, who are corrupt and even abominable? Doesn’t God see their good works? Doesn’t God give them “credit” for doing the “right” things (sometimes more than their Christian neighbors!)?

God sees us from a different perspective– He looks on the heart. The heart of someone who denies God is the heart of someone in rebellion. It may be a quiet rebellion; it may be vocal and even violent. But once a person denies the very one who created her/him, their heart is corrupted and opposed to giving God His proper place. Even “good” deeds done in defiance of the God of all goodness will become twisted by the selfishness and pride of the doers. The smartest among us may have many great ideas for achieving world peace, but they do not have the power to control all of humanity, nor the authority to force others to accept their “brilliant” ideas. In the end, they will either face disillusionment and despair, or they will become tyrannical in their efforts to “fix” the world’s problems according to their own plans.

God asks us, first and foremost, to trust Him. Second, we are to obey Him. Third, we are to live with, and love, others– to share the love and wisdom He gives! Fools may know about God, but they stop short of trusting Him, obeying Him, and learning to serve others. They deny His wisdom; they deny His Grace, and their need for it. They deny themselves the joy of relationship with the God of Love. There is nothing wrong with learning and intelligence– they, too, are gifts from God–but when we depend on them ahead of leaning on God’s wisdom, we become fools.

Father, I don’t want to be a fool. Help me to acknowledge You in everything I say and do. Help me to recognize Your wisdom, and cling to it. And help me to appreciate the wisdom of Your Word in guiding my intellect and learning.

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Lament

Where are the heroes of old?
Where are the role models?
Where are the men and women of integrity?
Where is Honor?

I look at images of sneering mobs, of angry masses.
They protest in bright colors.
They shout and wave their signs.

Where are those who mourn?
Where are those who warn of danger, crying out a warning;
Crying out for mercy?

Where are Isaiah and Jeremiah?
Where is Ezekiel? Hosea?
Where are the Apostles?
Where are the evangelists?

Everyone is shouting– who is lamenting?
Everyone is angry– who is repentant?
Everyone is righteous in their own eyes.
Yet no one is righteous– no, not one.

We have a generation worshipping comic book “gods”,
And mocking the God of Creation.
People who obsess over someone else’s right to eat an egg,
While screaming for the right to kill their own child without guilt.
Millions praying to their government for more food and better shelter
While ignoring their hungry and homeless neighbors.
While trying to bury Your Words and Your Peace.

And YOUR people, Lord…
People who bear the name of Christ
Are bragging about their blessings from You,
While criticizing others and ignoring the lost.
Those who honor You with their lips
Refuse to cry out in surrender to You;
Refuse to reach out help their neighbors.

Where are the servants?
Where is the remnant of the Faithful?
Where are the prophets? The truth-tellers?
Where are those who mourn?
Where is the Lament?

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Too Clever for God?

I love puzzles, puns, mysteries– I love clever plot twists in novels. Most of the time. But there is a type and degree of “cleverness” that is offensive to me. And that is the kind of clever that is meant to sting, hurt, or humiliate.

I love the old movie with Jimmy Stewart called “Harvey.” It is a silly comedy about a man who claims to see, and talk to, a six-foot tall invisible rabbit named Harvey. Jimmy Stewart’s character, Elwood Dowd, is a mostly harmless and genial man, but he is an embarrassment to his socialite sister, and a puzzlement to his neighbors and the staff at the mental institution where his sister wants him committed. The doctors are especially intrigued by Elwood, because he appears to be intelligent, rational, and agreeable– “nice”– except for the rabbit! Meanwhile, the other characters in the film are mostly uptight, stressed, angry, and unpleasant. But Elwood has an explanation. He claims that his mother always told him there were two ways to “go through life.” You could be “oh, so clever,” or you could be “nice.” Elwood has chosen “nice.” And his life– even with its crazy invisible rabbit, is more serene, more fulfilling, than the lives of those who are “smarter” and more powerful.

Such a simple line in a silly film, but that thought resonates with me, and it matches Biblical teaching, too! The Bible has much to say about people who think that they are clever. Those who are proud of their intelligence and acumen; those who are wise in their own eyes. This is not the same as being intelligent, while acknowledging that you don’t know everything. Such “clever” people tend to be cynical, snide, and sarcastic. The Bible calls them “mockers”– people who make fun of and belittle others; those who use their intelligence and quick thinking as a weapon to bludgeon and bully their way through life.

We see and hear it often on television, in government, on talk radio, or comedy routines. We hear it in conversations among groups of peers in the workplace or in social situations. There’s always at least one person who entertains others with jokes or stories that are “wicked” funny– jokes that might make you a bit uncomfortable in certain situations, because you know they are unkind, unjust, or downright offensive–even if they are funny. Jokes that get a laugh at someone else’s expense. Remarks that “burn” people with differing beliefs, opinions, or lifestyles. We sometimes even hear it in the church, with harsh remarks for those who think or worship differently from us.

Just like Elwood Dowd’s mother, God has given us a blueprint for life– we can go through life being “oh, so clever” or “nice.” We can be arrogant; overly certain that we know everything, heaping contempt on those who are struggling or who don’t see things “our way.” Or we can be humble and kind; listening to others, offering loving encouragement and counsel, rather than snide “I told you so’s”, embarrassing comparisons, or pithy quips.

The Apostle Paul, in Galatians 6, outlines how we should not only “bear our own burdens” by taking responsibility for our own strengths, weaknesses, faults, and duties, but also “bear one another’s burdens” by showing compassion and reaching out in love. In the middle of this advice, Paul warns us against deceiving ourselves, and reminds us that “God is not mocked” (v. 7)– We cannot dismiss God’s Holiness in our own life, nor can we dismiss God’s command to love our neighbor. Anyone who does mock God (and those made in His likeness!) are deceived in thinking they are clever and beyond judgment.

Recent world events have reminded me of this truth. The opening ceremony at the Paris Olympics was marred by a “clever” but offensive display. Those who organized it and put it on, “explained away” the offense, claiming it was something entirely different; that their actions were not offensive, and those who were offended were misinterpreting their intentions. Many of them are sneering at Christians, even as they “mythsplain” their mockery. But their actions weren’t just mocking Christians around the world, they were mocking Christ. And many of us Christians responded with our own angry and mocking comments, memes, and posts, calling them names, or worse. But God– and God alone– is Holy and Just. Those actions will be punished, but they will be justly punished by God Himself. In fact, if any of those who participated in that display (and any who have responded hatefully) will repent and turn from their mockery and sin, Christ Himself has already paid the price for their actions!

People can be mocked. Even Christians can be mocked. Christ can be laughed at, spit upon, and even crucified in this fallen world. But God is eternally Holy and Just. He will have “the last laugh.” No one is too clever for God. The same people who laugh at Christ will someday bow before Him in worship, acknowledging that He is the King of Kings. That same King offers His Grace to each of us.

Christ isn’t about being “clever” or smug. Even though He has the perfect right to boast. He chooses to be “nice.” He chooses Grace. He chooses Love. And THAT makes all the difference!

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My Father

One of my hobbies is genealogy. I have been tracing my ancestry (along with that of my husband and my in-laws) for many years. I am fortunate, in that I know who my parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents were, when and where they were born, and when and where they died. Most my ancestors lived in the same area for at least five generations, some for seven or eight generations.

My great grandfather and his cousin, c. 1885

I know many others who struggle with genealogy, or have lost interest in “finding their roots.” Some are adopted, or their parents were adopted. The records have been sealed, or worse, lost, and they cannot find out even the name of a parent or grandparent to trace. Others have a murky and mysterious family history– someone in their family was illegitimate or born out of wedlock and no biological father can be confirmed.

Almost everyone who works on genealogy has, as one point, “hit a wall.” There are some people whose history is lost. They moved frequently, or they lived in a city or town where records were destroyed by fire or flood; some changed their name to avoid persecution or prosecution–some where enslaved and their names erased against their will; some lived at the edge of the wilderness, where few records were kept, and fewer still survived; some died young; some were illiterate, and left no written records. Many families have boxes or albums filled with unidentified (and unidentifiable) photos.

Some genealogists “hit gold.” They find in their family history a famous person from the past– a king or queen, military hero, chieftain, statesman, scientist, artist– some person of note. Often, however, these “finds” turn out to be red herrings. Early in my research, I thought I had stumbled on to a line of descent from one of the passengers on the Mayflower. How exciting! Except I had followed the wrong line. Two men of the same name in the same town had been born just two years apart. I had found the “right” name in a book about the Mayflower descendants, but it wasn’t actually the “right” one. A similar thing happened with the name of a signer of the Declaration of Independence. I even had a cousin who insisted that this signer was our direct ancestor. But it turned out to be incorrect. We WERE related to the signer, but not descended from him. It turns out he was a great-granduncle of our ancestor.

Human genealogy can be a rewarding pursuit, or a frustrating one. But our spiritual genealogy can be crystal clear, and is full of exciting news! Our Father is the King of Kings! We don’t have to wonder who He is or whether we will be accepted and listed as a family member. His grace extends to everyone who believes on Him– and it comes with the fullness of being His Children for all eternity.

My dad

When I pray to My Father, that is not just a polite or wishful phrase. God IS my father– just like my human father, only eternal and omnipotent! I have inherited various traits from both my fathers–creativity, wonder, curiosity, a sense of purpose and responsibility, love for others and for the world around me, love of music and nature, and a love of puns(!)–and I am an heir to all the riches of my Heavenly Father’s mercy and grace. I am a descendant of all the heroes of the Faith– not physically through human birth, but by spiritual re-birth– a daughter of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. All that God promised to them, He shares with me. Not because I deserve them, or could ever earn them; because He has made it so.

Father’s Day is coming up this Sunday. And it can be a time of reflection on our earthly fathers– their strengths, weakness, failures, and relationships. Father’s Day can bring many poignant memories, or waves of bitterness or regret. And looking into our long family history– if we can find it– may result in finding patterns of behavior that have led to pain or progress. But whatever your genealogy today–whether you know it, or take pride in it, or despair of it–you can live in the awe of being a beloved and privileged child of the King! And He wants to chat with you today! We have much to celebrate on Father’s Day if we reflect on our wonderful Heavenly Father!

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Putting It All On the Table

In 2 Kings, chapters 18 and 19, we can read about the reign of King Hezekiah of Judah. During his reign, a mighty king, Sennacherib of Assyria, came to lay siege to Jerusalem. Sennacherib taunted King Hezekiah, sending him a letter boasting about the might of the Assyrian army, and all its conquests. In the letter, he also taunts King Hezekiah about trusting in God to save Jerusalem, suggesting that God was unable to rescue the Jews, while simultaneously suggesting that God had given the Assyrians His blessing.

Hezekiah had already made some provision for the coming siege. He had his workers divert the water supply that flowed out of the city, creating a system of tunnels that kept the water inside the city walls and filled pools and wells for the people to withstand the siege while depriving the invaders of a crucial resource. (Evidence of these tunnels has been discovered by archaeologists, including carvings by two work crews who were “competing” to see who could complete their part of the tunnel fastest!)

Entrance to Hezekiah’s Tunnel in Jerusalem

But Hezekiah did not trust in his preparations. He did not trust in diplomacy or alliances. He took the offending letter from King Sennacherib into the Lord’s temple and spread it out before the Lord (2 Kings 19:14). He prayed earnestly, never mentioning his own efforts and preparations, but reminding himself of God’s power and glory. He even acknowledged that the Assyrians had been victorious in their other conquests! But then he asks for God to rescue the nation– “then all the kingdoms of the earth will know that you alone, O Lord, are God. “(v. 19).

I was struck as I read this recently. Hezekiah was a king. He had done a great deal to bring reform and renewal to the kingdom of Judah. He could have appealed to God on the basis of his own efforts. He could have asked for God’s help for his own sake, and for the sake of his people. He could have spoken about how Sennacherib taunted the army, or the king. He could have cried out in panic and outrage that God would allow Judah to be invaded. But he put it all on the table, literally, asking God to judge Sennacherib’s words and respond for the sake of His Sovereign Glory.

God DID respond, and the Assyrian troops were routed by the Angel of the Lord. Sennacherib returned to his home, and was assassinated in the temple of his false god by his own sons. Hezekiah’s troops didn’t even have to lift a finger!

What situations am I facing today, that need to be brought to God in prayer? What threats seem to hover over me? Do I respond as Hezekiah did? Or do I try to bring only the part that seems “too much” for me to handle? Do I bring my own agenda, or my own efforts to cloud the issue? Do I worry more about my own reputation than I do about God’s honor?

Lord, may I be more like Hezekiah–may I lay everything on the table before You, knowing that Your power is more than sufficient, and that Your honor and glory are greater than any force at work against me. Protect and defend those who humble themselves before You. Destroy those forces that would seek to exalt themselves and taunt Your Holy Name. Rise up, that “all the kingdoms of the earth will know that You alone, O Lord, are God!”

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