Unspoken

What does it mean when someone says they have an “unspoken” prayer request? If you are new to Christianity or to prayer, this can seem confusing. Aren’t we supposed to present our requests to the Father? Aren’t we supposed to pray for one another? How can we ask someone to pray for us, and then hold back on giving a reason? Is that “cheating” somehow?

There are several reasons why someone may ask for “unspoken” prayer, and there is no reason why we should not pray just as fervently for an unspoken request. So why would someone be reluctant or even unable to speak their request?

Sometimes, they are passing along a request from another. Someone has shared a burden, and it seems too large for just one or two people. But the original request was not shared publicly, nor did the sharer give permission to share details in a group. It is important to honor the other person’s attempt to avoid gossip and oversharing.
Sometimes, the request involves a delicate personal situation– an unsaved spouse, an aging parent facing financial difficulties, etc.– and the details of a request might cause unnecessary pain or shame to another, or strain an already tenuous relationship.
Sometimes, the person asking for prayer cannot put their request into words. They know there is a problem, but they may not fully understand what they need or even want. Sometimes, a sudden change throws them into turmoil. Other times, an unrecognized problem has been looming, and they are taken by surprise. Sometimes, there are multiple issues and layers of issues that can’t be explained easily.
Sometimes, the person is ashamed of asking. They may feel like a failure for even asking. It may be an issue they thought they had overcome, and they are reluctant to admit that it isn’t resolved. They may not be ready to confess a secret sin, but they know they need help.

Whatever the reason, we should always be willing to pray, especially when asked to do so. But how can I pray for someone who won’t or can’t tell me what they need?

In many ways it is the same– If I know that “Sue” is battling cancer, I am still praying to the same God as I am for “Janet” who can’t tell me about her recent diagnosis or her ongoing battle with a wayward teenage daughter. Yes, I can be more specific in my prayer for Sue, but I can still lift up Janet as someone who needs God’s care, protection, and encouragement. I can acknowledge that God loves both women, and that God is the only one who can meet their needs. I can praise God that HE knows all; that He is sovereign over all, and that He cares about Sue and Janet (and Me) far more than I can understand.

What are some practical guidelines when praying for “unspoken” requests?

Honor the other person’s privacy. Don’t try to drag a confession or sordid details from someone who is already struggling to share their need for prayer. Your “need to know” all the details is less than another person’s need for earnest encouragement, compassion, and support.
Concentrate on the basics— don’t try to “guess” at specifics. Pray for their general health, well-being, growth, encouragement, and strength to persevere. If you know of an ongoing situation, don’t get bogged down on praying for just that issue. Use this opportunity to uphold your friend or neighbor, brother or sister in loving prayer, not intense scrutiny.

Do not cast judgment. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “should” be more open or share more details. It is NOT your place to decide whether or not the other person “really” needs your prayer. We all know people who “overshare,” and we all know people who seem addicted to drama. We all know other people who never open up or seem independent and self-contained. Their “unspoken” requests are still “real” requests– even if they are making the third one this week. Lift up your sister or brother with love, not exasperation or comparison with anyone else. Remember, you would not want someone else dissecting your life trying to decide if your prayer requests are “worth” their time.
Thank God for the opportunity to join God in loving others! If someone is asking for your prayer, it generally means that they respect and trust you to respond. God is giving you a unique and wonderful opportunity to join in His work! Prayer of this type is not a burden or an obligation. It should be a joyful experience.
Follow up. Let the other person know that you are praying for them. If possible, pray with them, remembering that this is not an opportunity to pry, poke, or condescend, but to uplift, encourage, and invite God to act! If you get the opportunity to do so, check in with the other person in a few days or a week, to let them know you are still praying.
Use this opportunity to build your relationship. ”In what other ways can I be praying for you?” ”Is there anything I can do for you?” Don’t make a fuss. They may (even probably will) say no. Don’t pry about details, but offer practical assistance, as well as prayer, whenever possible.

I try to use this model whenever I get an “unspoken” request– whether in person, as part of a prayer chain, or scrolling through social media. EVERY request is an opportunity. EVERY request deserves my eager and faithful response.

January 17, 2024 0

Processed Prayer

I love to cook. I love looking at new recipes, and finding new ways to use fresh ingredient, use up that last bit of leftovers, or stretch staple foods like beans, flour, or rice. And I love to pray. I love being able to lift up praises, requests, and even questions. I love knowing that I can confess even my most shameful thoughts or deeds to a God who already knows, loves me more than I can imagine, and stands eager to forgive me and strengthen me to make wiser choices.

Cooking can be exciting, challenging, and creative. But it doesn’t have to be. I don’t have to cook at all in our culture. I can (at some expense) dine out every day, and let someone else do all the work. Or, I can buy pre-made meals, “processed” foods and “instant” mixes– “just add water,” “cooks in 6 minutes,” “ready to eat.” I can pray “processed” prayers, too. I can recite prayers of others, mumble graces by rote, and even read off a list of requests with little or no effort or emotion.

But processed prayer isn’t healthy– no more than processed food. Oh, it won’t seem much different– at first. And it isn’t “bad”–every once in a while. But a steady diet of praying someone else’s words and thoughts doesn’t build a personal relationship. We miss out on the “process” of praying, and the end result is not as fresh and healthful.

When I cook from scratch, I have to follow a process:

I need to make sure I have the proper ingredients.
Some ingredients need to be seeded, skinned, peeled, chopped, or otherwise readied before they can be used.
Ingredients need to be added in the proper order.
Measurements are important. 1 teaspoon of salt is not the same as 1/2 cup of salt!
I need to use the proper methods– simmer, boil, chill, bake, etc.
Timing is crucial, too. Cookies may take 10 minutes to bake– a roast may take 3 hours.

Praying “from scratch” also follows a process:

I have to have the right heart attitude.
Distractions need to be put aside.
I want to include all the “ingredients” of a deep prayer– Adoration and Praise; Acknowledging God’s Sovereignty and Power; Confession and Repentance; Thankfulness; Presenting my requests; Lifting up the needs of others; and Committing to Listen and Obey God.
Timing is important–I need to make time to visit with God in Prayer. It shouldn’t be an afterthought or another activity to squeeze in IF I have a chance!

That doesn’t mean that we can’t (or shouldn’t) pray “in the moment” or recite The Lord’s Prayer, or the Prayer of St. Francis, or another written prayer. It doesn’t mean that we should make all our prayers from a “recipe” or a formula. But if our prayer “diet” is becoming dependent on “processed” prayers, we may need to go back to the kitchen!

August 25, 2023 0

Hallelujah! Amen!

At least once a month this year, I hope to include a post on helpful tips to improve our pursuit of prayer. These are tips I’ve gathered over the years, and it helps me to remember as I write about them.

Today, I want to talk about starting and finishing well.

Beginning prayer with a Hallelujah helps focus my attention where it should be– on God! Too many times, I start praying with a “need” mindset. I’m focused on a need or a situation in my life or the lives around me. But the greatest “need” I have is to lift my eyes and focus on the ONE who is higher and greater and more powerful than any situation; the ONE who can satisfy every “need” and bring justice, restoration, and hope to any situation.

I have learned two different acronyms for prayer over the years– ACTS and PRAY. ACTS stands for Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. PRAY stands for Praise, Repent, Ask, and YES! (action). In both, the first step is to bring praise and adoration to the One who is worthy of it.

Sometimes, this is easy to do. Sometimes, it is painful. When I am stressed, worried, grieving, or convicted, my focus is inward and downward– and I can spiral into depression, isolation, and fear. The last thing I want to do is turn my focus away. God’s glory and righteousness can be blinding in the face of dark depression and despair. And yet–

Start small. Begin with one aspect of God’s character that you have experienced– His Grace, His Faithfulness, His Love. Meditate on it. Express it. Expand on it. Recall some of the specific ways in which God has been gracious, faithful, or loving. Think about some of God’s other attributes– His wisdom, power, omnipresence; His eternal nature, His creation. Soon, it becomes easier to speak, and even sing, His Praise!

Often, this will lead naturally into confession and repentance. When we begin by focusing on God’s greatness, His Holiness, and His majesty, our worries show themselves for lack of faith; our needs, while still real, reveal opportunities for God to “show up!” and for us to learn new depths of His character IF we are humble, obedient, and willing to learn.

Praise and Adoration are important first steps in prayer. But it is equally important to end our prayers well. Sometimes, our “Amen” is muted as our focus returns to our requests. And sometimes, it can be difficult and even painful to say “Amen!” I KNOW God is all-gracious, all-knowing, and all-powerful. But I also know that I don’t have enough money to pay the latest bill, or that I have been diagnosed with an incurable disease, or that my son or daughter is still lost. And I know that God may be asking me to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. He will be beside me, but He’s not going to remove the shadow or the valley to make it easier.

Over the years, I have found that it is better to wrestle IN prayer than to end with a half-hearted Amen. I must go back to Adoration; find my Thanksgiving, reclaim my Yes, Lord! before I say, “AMEN!” Otherwise, I am like the double-minded person in the book of James: being tossed like a wave in the ocean and filled with petty doubts in spite of my knowledge of God’s goodness.

End your prayer on a high note today. Remember to sandwich requests and concerns between hymns of praise and odes of thanksgiving. “Amen” should always echo our “Hallelujah!”

July 7, 2023 0

“I’m Praying For You!”

Each month, I want to give some practical suggestions on ways we can better pursue a lifestyle of prayer.

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

This month, I want to encourage you to let people know you are praying for them. This seems like such a simple thing, and not necessarily a way to improve one’s prayer life. After all, didn’t Jesus teach us not to brag about our praying? Aren’t we supposed to pray in private, not calling attention to ourselves? (See Matthew 6:1-15)

There are four “do’s” and a couple of “don’t’s” when it comes to telling others about praying that I want to emphasize today. Not because I have a perfect formula, but these are things I have found true in my own experience, and I think they line up with Biblical principles:

DO:

When you hear a need, pray about it. Don’t put it off; don’t promise to pray at a more convenient time. Do it now. If that means stopping in the middle of a conversation and praying with someone who is pouring out their heart– do it (assuming that it is possible). Not only is this practicing obedience to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, but it is honoring the importance and value of the other person. (see Philippians 4:6; Romans 12:12; Ephesians 6:18; others…) Showing others that their needs are important and that God cares about their needs is NOT boasting or being hypocritical. Just remember to approach with humility. Don’t be offended if they refuse in the moment; don’t use the opportunity to pray “over them”– pray beside them; pray with them; pray for their needs, not your own virtue-signaling. If you are worried about your actions being misconstrued or offensive in some way, ask first. “May I pray for you right now?” “Would you mind if we just stopped and said a quick prayer about this situation?” They can always refuse to let you pray immediately, but at least they will know you sincerely want to bring their burden before God. Also, if there is practical help you can give in the moments following, don’t hold back. Maybe their need is beyond your ability, but if you can direct them to counseling, aid from a local church group or non-profit, or offer to follow-up, you should do what you honestly can. Don’t promise beyond your ability, but don’t just pray and walk away, either.
The same goes for on-line requests for prayer. Don’t just scroll past someone’s need. It takes three seconds or less to type, “Praying”, or “I’m praying for you.” Again, if there is practical help you can offer, this is an opportunity to do so. There is no need to go overboard– but letting others know that someone “out there” is praying can be an enormous encouragement.
Be specific. Generic prayers aren’t “bad,” but they are often hasty and leave something lacking. The same goes for practical help. One of the mistakes I often make is to say, “If there’s anything I can do, give me a call.” I mean it– I want to help, and don’t know just how. But this puts the burden of asking on the person you meant to help! If you don’t know what to do– say so– but give them something solid to go on. It may be a phone number or e-mail, or an idea of a service you are able to offer–“I have Wednesday afternoons off if you need someone to drive you/go with you to an appointment.” or “If you ever want to meet for coffee…” or “I know the church has a Benevolence fund for unexpected bills and expenses. I could contact someone or give you their contact information,” etc..
Follow through! If someone asks for prayer for an ongoing concern, make a point of checking in every so often. Call, send a note or text, stop them at church and let them know you are still thinking of them and praying for them. This can also be another opportunity to offer practical help, a hug, or other form of encouragement. Often a week or two can be time enough to reveal practical steps to meet some of the smaller needs related to a big crisis or situation.

DON’T:

Say you will pray and then forget to do it. I used to be bad about this on-line. It only takes three seconds to promise to pray or to type a message about prayer, but don’t say it/send it if you aren’t going to act on it. Either stop then and there to pray about it, or stop and write it down where you will see it later and act on it! Good intentions are NOT enough to bring real encouragement and change. And good intentions do not form a disciplined and growing pursuit of prayerful living. In fact, such lost opportunities can become a barrier to our prayer life AND our relationships with others.
Break confidences. If someone asks publicly for prayer, it is fine to respond publicly that you will pray or are praying. It is NOT fine to then share someone else’s burden with ten of your other neighbors or closest friends. It is not fine to repost someone else’s request without their permission. It is not fine to publicize others’ private burdens, confessions, or pain. You may want to ask others to join in prayer, but don’t share details and names. Even if you have permission to share a prayer request, it is not for you to pour out someone else’s feelings, relationships, or struggles. This is another area in which I’ve had to learn a lot. I tend to over-share my own struggles when asking for prayer, and I want others to be concerned, so they will pray also. But it is very easy to fall into gossip, oversharing, and speculation, which has no place in prayer– and no place in my relationships! Share only those specifics that are helpful– “S______ is battling cancer. She has an appointment with her oncologist this week and would like prayer.” It is tempting to give the time and date of the appointment– and S______ may be ok with you doing this so people can be praying “in the moment.” However, she may be concerned about too many people knowing when she will or won’t be home, which might tempt a burglar. She may not want to receive a host of phone calls later that afternoon from people wanting “updates” or wanting to “cheer her up” when she is exhausted. Respect others’ privacy.

We are commanded to pray for one another (see Galatians 6:2; Colossians 4:2, etc.) And prayer is the most powerful tool we have to help those around us. Even though I recommend “practical” help along with prayer, I do not mean to say that prayer is impractical. Prayer IS practical and powerful. It should never be dismissed as “lesser than” other forms of help. But neither should it be used as an excuse not to meet needs in others ways as God gives us resources.

Making a habit of praying for others– really responding to needs immediately and faithfully in prayer– is a great way to experience its power. We will see God working through the prayers we offer– not just in the way He answers in the lives of others, but in the way He will change our hearts and minds about situations, relationships, and in growing Faith and confidence. It will train you to listen for needs, and to prepare to help. It will also train you to see needs in your own life, and make it easier to trust God with the needs in your life. You will find it easier to share your needs with others, and to accept help when you experience how much your efforts (even small ones) can encourage others. It may even encourage you to begin networking with others to meet needs and be proactive, instead of just reacting to needs after they are felt! If you are already strong in this area, be grateful for the way God is using you in the lives of others. If you are struggling in this area, I hope you will persevere. God is gracious in giving us opportunities to grow and serve!

June 7, 2023 0

Where Two or Three Are Gathered

I grew up in a church that made prayer a priority. I know many churches that still do this, but I know that some churches today just leave prayer up to the individual Christian. They may open the service with a prayer, and close with a prayer, and even offer a prayer service in the mid-week, but they do not focus on prayer as a congregation. With many churches, corporate prayer doesn’t seem very practical– they are just too large, or too focused on spending their time in worship. But I think something of value is lost when the church doesn’t come together in prayer.

Prayer IS an individual pursuit. It should be part of each Christian’s daily walk. And most of what I write (and practice) about prayer happens personally. But Jesus practiced both personal and corporate prayer. Even in His agonizing prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, He wanted close friends to be nearby praying, rather than sleeping (see Matthew 26:36-46 and Luke 22: 39-46). When instructing His disciples in how to pray, He used the term, “Our Father,” not “My Father.” Christianity , including prayer, cannot be practiced in isolation. We need to pray for others, and with others, and be prayed for by others!

In the small country church where I grew up, prayer was woven into the service. Prayer requests would be shared, and people would take turns praying aloud, until one prayer leader would close the prayer time with an “Amen!” In the church where I currently attend, we still share prayer requests on-line, and a list of requests gets sent out once a week. Occasionally, we will break into small groups during service to pray for particular focus or a specific request. Additionally, we have a mid-week prayer meeting, where we spend an hour just praying as a small group.

Why do I emphasize the need for group or corporate prayer? Over the years, I have seen many benefits:

I love “hearing” the hearts of others. We don’t all pray exactly the same. Even if we are reciting a prayer (like The Lord’s Prayer) there are different voices, different inflections, different tones, that bring a richness and diversity to prayer. And that is a great reminder that God is the God of ALL of us, even as He is the God of EACH of us. He is OUR God, every bit as much as He is MY God.
There is comfort and even power in praying together. My personal prayer may be sincere, but it is usually silent, and may be influenced by my surroundings, my mood, my distracting thoughts, etc.. But there is a different atmosphere when two or three (or more) are taking turns praying, adding to the thoughts and prayers of others, and pouring out their hearts in concert with other believers. I get a broader perspective when I pray with others. I hear more than just my own voice and my own thoughts. It doesn’t change whether or not God listens to my prayer, but it changes the way I think and feel– it isn’t just “MY” prayer– it is “OUR” prayer.
I learn more about prayer by practicing with others. I know many people who will not pray in a group, because they feel their prayers are “lacking” somehow. And this is a dangerous way to think! I have learned amazing lessons of faith from simple prayers; amazing lessons of doctrine from eloquent prayers; amazing insight from broken and contrite prayers; and even lessons from “runaway” prayers that go on and on. And praying in a group is not about how much you say, but by how much you are present in the moment.
Corporate prayer is a rich tradition. Jewish priests would lead the entire nation of Israel in prayer during various festivals. Many of the psalms are written as prayer-songs for a congregation to sing together. The early church made prayer a part of their meeting together (see Matthew 18:20, Acts 2:40-47, Romans 15:6, others…)
Corporate prayer strengthens my faith and the faith of others. Intellectually, I “know” that God listens to and answers my prayers, but when I pray with others, it strengthens my experiential knowledge that God is listening– because I am listening, and being listened to!
Corporate prayer challenges my perspective in relation to my own sinfulness and God’s grace. Corporate prayer should not be used as a “True Confessions” session, where we try to outdo each other in confessing secret sins or wallowing in self-righteous recitations. But it should bring us into a realistic awareness of our very human nature, and of God’s amazing Grace. Corporate prayer takes us out of our “self” and focuses on God’s sovereignty in ways that personal prayer sometimes misses. Corporate prayer tends to focus on gratitude, humility, and thinking of others more highly than yourself. And that is often a stepping stone to confession and the awareness of God’s forgiveness.
Corporate prayer lends itself to structure. That’s not to take away from unstructured and spontaneous prayer, but corporate prayer tends to have a stated purpose, and sometimes a stated format. From “round robin” prayer, where people pray in a particular order around a circle; to “popcorn” prayer, where people jump in and take turns until a certain time has elapsed; to structured prayer, where people pray in a strict order and with definite purpose for a slotted time, corporate prayer tends to be more disciplined that personal prayer. That doesn’t make it better or worse, but it is a different way to pray, which can help foster discipline in other areas.

Are you part of a prayer group at your church or in your community? If so, cherish this rich opportunity. If not, make a point of connecting with other believers– at church, in your community, or even on-line. Share requests. Set aside time to pray together, or even separately, but at the same time. Live stream prayer. Pray with someone over the phone, if you don’t have a prayer group or congregation nearby.

It will change your prayer life!

For more information about corporate prayer: https://www.allaboutprayer.org/corporate-prayer.htm https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/prayer/reasons-why-corporate-prayer-is-powerful-and-essential.html

March 10, 2023 0

Consistent, Fervent Prayer

What does it look like (or feel like) to pursue consistent, fervent prayer? Is it an endless repetition of the same words? Is it mindless pleading, mixed with angst and flowing tears? Is it rehearsing the same requests over and over in an attempt to “get the right words” that will cause God to act?

No. Jesus addressed this very issue in His Sermon on the Mount, and just before He gave us a wonderful example of how we can pray:

⁷And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
Matthew 6:7-8 (NIV)

If God already knows our needs, why SHOULD we practice consistent, fervent prayer in the first place? Because God desires to hear our heart cry. When something touches our heart– even though God already feels our sadness, pain, and fear–God wants to SHARE it in personal and intimate detail. What He does not want is for us to use prayer to try to manipulate a particular outcome, or to push our own desires and agenda ahead of His wisdom and sovereign will.

Instead, we should meet with God as our Father, knowing that He knows us, cares for us, and cares about the things that concern us. Consistent, fervent prayer is simply sharing our concerns with a loving God honestly over time.

Whining and “babbling” shows that we don’t trust God’s wisdom. It’s like a toddler, who keeps saying, “Please….pretty please…pretty please with sugar on top…” “But I want it…I REALLY need it… REALLY…”
Saying nothing is no better. It is closing our hearts away from the one who loves us unconditionally. Sometimes, we try to over-spiritualize, saying that because God already knows our needs, we need not mention them again.
We need to find a middle ground. We need to be humble enough to say that we need God’s help and His wisdom, and huble enough to accept that His ways and timing are not the same as ours.

So what DOES it look like? Probably a little different for each person, but I think there are some guidelines:

Consistent prayer means that we pray every day, throughout the day. About everything! Not just obsessively about our worries or needs, but about our joys and sorrows, as well as our questions, wonders, adoration, praise and confessions. Much like speaking with our best friends–the best ones are willing to listen to the same story about our cat even if we’ve told it twice before. They will cry with us next week as we share our continuing frustration with a rebellious teen or our parent’s journey with dementia. The difference is that God has a purpose and a plan in sharing our grief and our weakness beyond anything we can imagine. He is the “God of all Comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5) as well as a God of healing.
Fervent prayer isn’t just anguished prayer or dramatic, emotional prayer. It is intensely humble and full of faith. The Apostle James gives an excellent example in chapter 5 of his epistle: ¹⁷Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. ¹⁸Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops. (James 5:17-18 NIV) When Elijah faced the pagan prophets of Baal and Asherah, he prayed fervently, but he left the drama to the others. Elijah chided the prophets of Baal, because they prayed with raving, shouting, dancing, and cutting themselves in an effort to get Baal to hear them. Elijah’s prayer, while simple, was answered immediately and with dramatic effect. This wasn’t just a show of God’s awesome power through His chosen prophet. It was also a clear sign that Elijah was in constant communication with the One True God. He didn’t have to “get God’s attention.” He knew God was right there with Him. (See 1 Kings 18 for the whole story.)
Consistent, fervent prayer is part of a journey, not a destination. The same Elijah who was able to call down fire from Heaven, ran and hid in a cave and prayed to die! God wants us to pursue prayer the same way we pursue righteousness– knowing that God is the source of our wisdom and strength. He wants our anguished prayers as well as our prayers prayed in absolute trust– He wants them all!
I find it helpful in my personal prayer to have a journal. In it, I keep a list of people and places, concerns and requests. Each day of the week, I have a focus point for my prayers, and a list of specific people to lift up, plus a place for immediate and ongoing concerns. This does the following for me:
- It allows me to put concerns into perspective. On Mondays, I concentrate on family and friends. That doesn’t mean that I don’t pray for my family on other days, but Mondays are focused on family and friends. On Wednesday, I concentrate on praying for my community. On Thursdays, I pray for global issues. This doesn’t preclude urgent requests or needs, but it keeps me from obsessing about some concerns at the expense of others. And it reminds me that God is the God of my family, AND my community, AND those suffering from a recent earthquake or famine.
- A Prayer Journal gives me a place to write out my requests. Sometimes, seeing it in writing reminds me that God already knows– my concerns are written on His heart! No need to use the same words over and over again–but God may want to hear how MY heart has changed since I wrote the request. Maybe I have new information that changes my outlook. Maybe I can see how God is already working in the situation…which brings up another advantage of journaling:
- I have a space in my prayer journal for answered prayer. Sometimes, I’m praying for someone from my church with a health issue. I can come back and write out God’s response– maybe He provided miraculous healing; maybe He took them “home.” Maybe He is causing them to travel a long road — giving them opportunities to bear witness to His faithfulness in every situation. Perhaps He is causing their family or caregivers to see Him in a new way!
- Finally, a Prayer Journal helps me to be more consistent. I can turn to it every day for prompts and reminders of God’s love and faithfulness. God IS Fervent and Consistent– He is Faithful, and His Love is limitless. And He is the one who can teach me to be the same!

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February 17, 2023 0

“How Are You Today?”

I got a scam phone call the other day. The lady on the other end started the conversation by saying something like, “Hello. My name is Jane, and I’m calling from the Business Lending Department. How are you today?” Her voice was pleasant, and her question innocuous, yet my “radar” went off, and I hung up the phone, rather than answering her question.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Why?

Three things:

I answered the phone by saying, “Hello” and the name of my little shop. It’s a business phone number, and I get many calls from customers, and from salespeople as well. Usually, as soon as I say my greeting, they jump right in with their request, or their name and request, i.e. “This is Sharon. I was in the other day, and I was wondering about…” or “This is Matt from (Name of my insurance agency), and I need to speak with you about a change in your coverage.” A business person may occasionally say something like, “I hope you’re doing well today.” or “Is this a good time to talk?” A friendly customer or a friend will often ask, “How are you?” or “How are things going?” But this was different. There was a long pause, which seemed odd, as though the call might be from far away. The phone number that came up on caller ID was not from a local area code and didn’t include a state listing or a company name (Pennsylvania or Wyoming, State Farm, or Citibank, etc.) This can happen with cell phone calls, but it can also be an indication that the call is coming from a hidden number. “Jane,” while she sounded pleasant, also sounded like she was reading from a script. “My name is Jane” indicated that she was not someone I would have met before, and “How are you today?” sounds like the opening line from a stranger’s sales pitch.
I have read articles about scam calls. One of the first things they do is ask an innocuous question like, “Can you hear me, ok?” It seems like a simple, silly, harmless question, but if they ask you a Yes/No question, and you say “Yes,” they can record your answer and use it to “prove” that you agreed to a product or program by phone– even if you didn’t. “How are you today?” isn’t a Yes/No question, but it is the kind of question most people will answer without thinking, and it naturally leads to other seemingly innocuous questions, like “Can you hear me?” Call me hyper-cynical or super-suspicious, but these questions seem– from a complete stranger– like “set ups” to me after reading about how they are sometimes used.
“Jane” is such a common and unassuming name. I have friends named Jane. One of my favorite novels is “Jane Eyre.” I love reading books about Miss Jane Marple, the unassuming, crime solving spinster of the equally unassuming village of St. Mary Mead. She was just “Jane.” Not Jane Torquist, or Jane Sullivan, or Jane Suzuki. And “just Jane” was calling from “the Business Lending Department.” Not the business lending department of a particular bank or business group. Not Wells Fargo, or Chase, or even a local banking chain. Not Visa or American Express. Just “the Business Lending Department.” Again, call me paranoid, but that set all my alarm bells ringing.

Now– what does any of this have to do with prayer? Bear with me, as I tell the “rest of the story.”

After I hung up, I felt bad. Hanging up–even when I suspected the call was far from innocent–seems very rude. “Jane” had been very pleasant. It felt churlish and even cowardly to hang up on her. I started stewing. I don’t like to think of myself as rude, churlish, or cowardly. After all, what would Jesus do, right? So I prayed for forgiveness, even though I wasn’t sure precisely what I had done wrong.

And God answered my prayer immediately. “Jane.” The woman had given her name as “Jane.” I have a friend named Jane who is going through a tough time right now. I have been praying for her for weeks. Had I prayed for her today? Not yet! God had sent me a reminder of my friend Jane via a scam call! Aren’t God’s ways mysterious and magnificent?! He also gave me a great idea to help me be at peace about the phone call. I thought, “if “Jane” ever calls back, I’m not going to answer her question, and play a passive role in the conversation. I will simply ask her what company she works for, and how SHE is today!”

And guess what! About an hour later, “Jane” called back. The call started exactly like the earlier call. The script was exactly the same– the same pause, the same wording. So when she asked, “How are you today?” I simply asked her, “which company do you work for? You said you are calling from the Business Lending Department, but which one?” And this time, SHE hung up! I had been right to be suspicious– right to stand my ground and not get involved in a scam– on any level.

Such a simple encounter, but so many lessons to be learned:

God answers “little” prayers; “awkward” prayers; He answers earnest and simple prayers when we just don’t even know what to pray or why. Things that seem silly (like whether or not I seemed rude or cowardly to a scam artist!) are never too silly or unimportant to take to the very Throne of Grace.

God uses simple things to call our attention to bigger things. This woman could have chosen any name, but she said her name was Jane, and I believe that was God-ordained, to remind me to lift up my dear friend– to move my mind from something silly, like a phone scam, to something infinitely more important, like thanking God for Jane’s friendship over the years, and sharing in her immediate concerns.
God teaches us to recognize authenticity– and insincerity–as we follow Him. My “alarm bells” went off almost immediately when I answered this phone call. Why? Even though “Jane” was pleasant, she didn’t seem authentic. She used words and phrases that seemed friendly and harmless on the surface, but the delivery just seemed “off.” The same thing can happen when I read an on-line article, or listen to an advertisement, or even get involved in conversations. God sends us a spirit of Discernment that is sharper than just “being savvy.” But it comes from Him– not our own intelligence or listening to “smart people.” I know this because I know people who are acknowledged as “intelligent” who fall for amazingly stupid schemes and make appallingly bad life choices, while others who are called “simple” avoid such things without even being able to explain how. It reminds me of a story about a famous pianist practicing a complicated piece. She was playing along and suddenly stopped, saying she had missed a single note. “How can you tell?,” asked her friend who was standing nearby. “Your fingers are flying over the keys. How can you tell that you missed anything. The piece sounded fine to me.” “But I practice hours each day. I’ve heard myself play this piece hundreds of times correctly. I know what it SHOULD sound like. And this time, I missed a note.” When we practice listening to God’s voice– whether in the Bible, or in our conscience, or in the advice of others, we learn to hear “what it SHOULD sound like!”

Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on Pexels.com

God teaches us wisdom, and gives us “second chances” to put it into practice. Jesus faced malicious Pharisees who tried to trick Him with seemingly innocuous questions. They came to Him with polite but false flattery, and tried to catch Him “off guard.” Jesus generally responded by asking them simple questions in return– questions that often exposed their real motives. He didn’t lose His temper; He didn’t passively fall into their traps. He didn’t walk away without an answer, either.
God can use “bad” experiences to teach us good things. He is teaching me to recognize a “scam” when I start to hear it. But (hopefully) He is also teaching me to speak and act more authentically myself! How often do I ask someone “How are you today?” not because I actually want to hear the answer, but because it is the “polite” thing to do? How often do I ask seemingly harmless questions without thinking? My words can bring healing– or suspicion, harm, or confusion. Jesus asked some probing questions, but always with the intent of helping others see the truth.

Lord, I am so thankful for the lessons you give us– even in the simplest situations in the midst of our busy lives. Help me to listen for your voice– even when “Jane” is on the line. What an amazing and wise God you are!

January 30, 2023 0

The ACTS of Prayer

It’s another new year, and many of us are resolved to pray– pray more, pray better, pray longer, etc. That’s a good resolution, but without a plan, it can fizzle out as the year goes on. It’s not that we stop praying altogether; it’s just that we end up praying the same old way or about the same old things, and our pursuit of prayer becomes another routine.

This year, I want to present several “How-to’s” of prayer– at least one every month– to keep things fresh. Today is ACTS. ACTS is an acronym that stands for Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. I learned this method way back in college, and our Wednesday morning prayer team at church still uses it each week.

Start by coming to God in worship and ADORATION:
List some of the Names of God–Father, Creator, El Shaddai, LORD, King of Kings, etc., OR
List the attributes of God–Merciful, Mighty, Humble, Everlasting…
Pray one of the Psalms…
Sing or recite the words of a worship hymn or praise chorus…
Think of creative ways to spend some time expressing God’s Worth and Majesty.
This may be difficult the first time; it may feel awkward at other times. Don’t be discouraged. God inhabits the praise of His People, whenever, wherever, and however we make the effort!

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

Second, spend some time in CONFESSION:
Ask God to examine your heart to see if there is any wickedness that has gone unacknowledged..(Psalm 139:23-24)
Confess specific sins as you think of them…
Confess your need for God’s forgiveness and His Guidance..
Resolve to take action– either action to seek forgiveness from those you have wronged, or action to change course in the future, or action to let go of past resentment..
Sometimes, you may need to stop and take the action NOW before you continue in prayer. Sometimes, you may need to let go of your own lingering guilt and shame over past actions for which you have already confessed. Remember, God removes our Sin as far as the East is from the West, (Psalm 103:12) and He will remember it no more– so we must trust in His forgiveness and move forward; not stay stuck in the past!

Next, THANK God–for His provision, and for His Mercy:
Thank God for His daily provision of life, health, strength, and unfailing Love!
Thank Him for the people in your life– those who encourage as well as those who challenge you!
Thank God for His Mercies that are new every morning (Lamentations 2:22-23)
Thank Him for His forgiveness and cleansing (1 John 1:9)
Thank Him for His eternal presence (Hebrews 13:5; Deuteronomy 31:6)
Don’t confuse this with step one–ADORATION is about Who God IS. Thanksgiving is about What God has Done for YOU. It is easy to recite a verse about what God has done for others– take time to make it personal, especially in light of whatever you have just confessed!

Last, bring your petitions and requests in SUPPLICATION to the Father:
Bring your heart-cry for lost friends and relatives…
Ask for God to work in situations that have you frustrated..
Plead for Justice and Righteousness to be done in the world around you..
Pray for leaders, elected officials, and church leaders..(1 Timothy 2:1-4)
Ask for the strength to resist temptation, stand firm, and run the race that is set before you.. (1 Corinthians 10:13, 1 Corinthians 16:13, 1 Corinthians 9:24, more..)
It isn’t that this is the least important step, but it works better when it follows the other three steps. NOW you are in the right frame of mind to present requests. They can be seen in their proper perspective. Instead of a giant wish list of things you hope God might do for you, you can present requests that you KNOW God already knows about, cares about, and for which He already has a plan! You can come in confidence, knowing that you have peace with God because He has forgiven your sins and restored your relationship as His son or daughter– nothing stands in the way! And you have just rehearsed (and said Thank You!) for all the ways God has been faithfully working in your life!

Does this sound like a lot of time and energy? It is. But it doesn’t have to be for every prayer you pray. This is for special time set aside for deep prayer. OR, you can break it up throughout the day: Wake up with praise and adoration (it will make an immediate difference!), spend some time at the end of the work day confessing (when it’s still fresh!), and end the day with thanksgiving and supplication (what a way to find peaceful rest– give all your cares over to God who has done so much for you (1 Peter 5:7)!

However you choose to do it– consider trying the ACTS method this week. Do it during your quiet time, or try it with a group. Develop a habit of coming to prayer in this order.

Keep watching this space for more ideas to stimulate your prayer life. Let’s pursue prayer together in 2023!

January 2, 2023 0

Laundry List Prayers

Do you ever feel like your prayer life has become an endless pile of laundry lists?

I keep a prayer journal, and I have daily “prayer points” that help focus my prayers, but I have to be careful not to let my prayer life become all about “ticking the boxes.” It’s easy to see a list of names or a topic on paper or a screen, and make prayer about what is written in my journal, or making sure I don’t “miss” someone on the list. Prayer is a conversation, and it should flow like one. I would not like to have a conversation with someone who came to me with a long list of requests and nothing else.

That doesn’t mean we can’t bring our requests to God– we should! And sometimes it makes sense to list them out methodically and specifically. But it’s also important to remember that God already knows all the concerns of our heart. He is eager to hear from us— not just our concerns, but our other thoughts, too. He wants to hear our excitement and joy over small triumphs; our questions and ponderings; and all the little things that make us go, “hmmm.”

When Jesus taught His disciples how to pray, He didn’t have a list of names or specific situations. He asked that “Thy will be done in earth as it is in Heaven.” (Matthew 6:10). He asked the Father to “give us this day our daily bread,”(v.11) without specifying when or how. And He asked, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors,”(v.12) without naming names or reminding God of the debts involved! Sometimes we need to be reminded that that God knows our needs, our neighbors, and our universe far better than we do!

Today, I want to put aside the “laundry list” and just spend time conversing with my Savior. I hope you will, too.

September 9, 2022 0

Search Terms, Algorithms, and Prayer Requests

I used to work in a public library. I was the Youth Services Librarian, which meant that most of my time was spent working on building up the collection of children’s books, planning and presenting programming and story times, and going into schools to do book talks and promote library offerings. But I also spent time at the reference desks– both in the Children’s Area and the Adult Services area– and some of my time was spent finding answers to a wide range of questions:

Does the library have books or articles about Okapis (for a 4th grade report)?
Do you carry tax forms for my out-of-state business?
What are the school colors for _______ college (a small community college in Nebraska)?
Do you have a picture of the Egyptian queen Hatshepsut?
What is the title of a children’s book that featured muskrats making chicken soup?
My great-aunt left me a set of dishes and I want to know if they’re worth anything.
Do you have a recipe for pemmican?
What color is yak’s milk?

Some questions were easy to answer. Some required a little research within the library’s resources. Some were next to impossible and required hours of searching databases, or calling on expert help. Searching a database can be tricky. You need to find solid key words and search terms. For instance, our computer catalog did not recognize the the search term “cooking” or “cookbook.” You had to use the term “cookery” to get the best results. You could also use “cook***” to force the algorithm to look at all words that contained the letters c-o-o-k and any other letters that followed, such as cooks, cookies, cookery, etc. (Many library databases have since been updated, so searches will automatically redirect or refine common terms like this.)

Databases and search engines are amazing things, but they have limitations. They will only search for what you type in, and they will only search in the way they are programmed to do so. Computers (currently) “think” laterally–they do not make leaps of imagination, nor do they second-guess what you might have meant to ask but didn’t. If I want to know about pemmican, but I misspell it, the search engine may not find what I’m looking for.

That’s where algorithms come in. If I misspell pemmican by leaving out the second “m”, the algorithm will look for words close to what I typed, based on thousands of other inquiries. It may ask if I meant to search for pelican, instead. Or it may ask if I want pemmican. But if my spelling is really bad, or if the word I type in is actually another word, the search engine may miss my real inquiry altogether, and send me on a fruitless search. If I’m searching for a children’s book with muskrats and chicken soup, and the search engine doesn’t find both terms in a description, the algorithm will usually stick with the first term, and give me a list of children’s books with muskrats. Hopefully one of them also includes chicken soup… If I type the key words in reverse, I will get a list of children’s books with chicken soup…hopefully one of them includes muskrat characters! And algorithms can be skewed by advertisers or other interest groups that pay to have their information appear more often or first whenever certain search terms are entered.

How does any of this relate to prayer requests?

When people request prayer, they are usually focused on what they perceive as their greatest need. They are searching for an answer; a solution to a specific problem or situation. “Pray for complete healing.” “Pray that my son/daughter will…” “Pray that I get this job.” And it is tempting to pray very specifically. This is not wrong. But sometimes, it limits how we see prayer and how we look at God’s answers. The opposite is also true. Sometimes, we pray so broadly, that we may not see God’s answer for what it is. Sometimes, we pray, hoping to change some sort of algorithm and get to the “top of the list” or get the “right” answer. This is not what prayer is about…we know this, but sometimes, our wants blind us to what we are actually asking (or asking others to ask for).

So what are some of the key words we can use in our prayer requests and prayers? Jesus gives us a fantastic blueprint in The Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13):

“Our Father”–remembering to whom we are praying is vital. We are not praying to a distant, absent-minded, shadowy figure; He is our Father. He knows what is necessary, and what is best.

“Who art in Heaven”–God is Omnipotent. There is nothing we can ask or imagine that is too big, too difficult, or too much to ask. That doesn’t mean that God will give us whatever we want, whenever we want it, but it does mean that God is not limited by the same things that limit us!

“Hallowed by Thy Name.”–God is not our “genie in a bottle.” He doesn’t work for us, or at our command. God is sovereign; He commands the Universe. And even though He makes Himself known and wants a relationship with us, He is not like anyone else–He ALONE is GOD. When His answers seem “wrong,” or don’t make sense, it isn’t because He didn’t hear us, or because He doesn’t love us, but His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).

“Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven”–There are a lot of “good” things that are NOT part of God’s best will for us. There are a lot of difficult and painful things that God can use for our good. He wants to hear the cry of our heart–“I want to be healed.” But He also wants to hear our willingness to accept that healing may not be immediate or easy.

“Give us this day our daily bread”– It is not “wrong” to pray for things in the future, or to pray for “big” or complex things, but our dependence on Him is shown best when we acknowledge our everyday basic needs are met by Him.

“And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil”–Don’t be fooled. God will not ignore our hidden resentments, hatred, disdain, rebellion, and unforgiveness. Our requests can be sidelined by holding on to grudges and harboring secret doubts about God’s essential fairness, as well as hanging on to sinful habits.

God doesn’t need algorithms or special prayer “search terms”. We can come to Him with our requests, and He knows precisely what we want and what we need. But we will learn more about ourselves and about who God truly is when we refine our hearts and our prayer life.

February 28, 2022 0

Tag: requests