Tag: Spirituality

Talk is Cheap– Part II

In my last post, I talked about cheap talk and cheap grace.  Today, I want to turn the tables a bit, and talk about the value of talk– specifically prayer and words of encouragement.

Our society has become very fond of visuals– charts, graphs, comparisons, checklists, measurements, etc.  We want to see documentation of goals met, incremental achievements, mastery levels, and verified accomplishments.

Prayer doesn’t fit that mold.  God doesn’t send us a “receipt” for prayer requests received or answered.  There is no contest for the number or quality of prayers listed up to heaven.  There is no “success” strategy that guarantees speedier responses or “better” miracles.

I’m writing and thinking about prayer, but I can’t claim to be an expert or proficient, or better able to teach about prayer than anyone else.  Still, I think I can speak from experience to the value of pursuing a life of prayer and honest reflection before God.  Like most other worthy pursuits, prayer is learned and refined through practice.  The more I pray, the more I understand what it is, how it works, and why it is important.

“I shouldn’t just be praying about this, I should be DOING something…”  In times of stress, disaster, or crisis, it is tempting to believe that visual, measurable action is what counts.  Prayer is for those who cannot or will not take action..it is plan B.  But this view cheapens prayer.  Prayer should be our first response.  Pray for wisdom and guidance before taking action, and you may avoid making frantic and ineffective decisions.  Sometimes, our wisest action is to watch God do what we could not imagine; sometimes it is to support and encourage others, instead of pushing through, stepping on toes, or getting in the way.  Prayer can teach us more about trusting God; it can give us peace and confidence to act more effectively, and it can open our eyes to the opportunities in the midst of crisis.  That doesn’t mean that prayer should become a substitute for action when we have the means and opportunity and motivation to act.  But there are times when I think we act out of a sense of false pride or impatience, rather than a prompting of the heart, mind, or spirit.

We are commanded to pray– even to pray continually, constantly– without ceasing.  While this (of course) doesn’t mean that our every waking moment should be consumed with prayer to the exclusion of anything else, it means that God values our words, praises, songs, groans, tears, joyful whoops, and other communications with him.  This raises a question that I have struggled with in the past.  If God is omnipotent, he doesn’t NEED my prayer to bring change, or healing, or success, or protection, or anything else.  Yet he wants me to pray– he tells me that if I pray in faith I can ask anything in his Name and he will give it to me.  This seems like a paradox, but I believe that God’s command is not about Him.  In this case, it is about us.  He wants to include us in the work he is doing; in the change and healing he brings (or even withholds).  Why– because he is a generous God!  He gives us the privilege of being part of the goodness he sends.  He wants us to share the power of speaking goodness, peace, forgiveness, and blessing.  As we share our hearts and lives with him, he wants to include us in his work.  Not all my prayers fall into this category, but what an encouragement to value prayer– especially prayers lifting up our needs to a loving God.

Talk is cheap, action is precious, but prayer is priceless…May I remember the difference!

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Prayer and Social Media

There are several positive and proactive aspects of prayer I want to explore in this journey, but I don’t want to deny or ignore some of the bad habits and false ideas that sometimes come with prayer.

One of the reasons I am writing this blog (see Prayer is a Pursuit) is to answer some of the critics and detractors of prayer.  Many of these critics are responding to what they see of and about prayer on FB or Twitter, on blogs like this, or on spiritually-minded websites.  If all I knew of prayer came from reading dashed-off posts and prayer memes accompanied by soothing photos, I would have a false and shallow idea of prayer, and one that invites criticism.

The Bible describes, and the Church practices, many different kinds of prayer.  Prayer can be intensely personal and private.  It can be communal or corporate in nature.  There are prayer partners, prayer groups, prayer chains, and congregational prayers.  But prayer is not primarily or ideally a social activity, and its essence is not suited to be broadcast or posted.

Social media can be a very helpful tool TOWARD prayer– requests, needs, and answered prayer can be shared; prayer can be urged and encouraged; prayer can be discussed (as in this post); prayers can be made public as examples.  And people can be greatly encouraged by the knowledge that their needs are being lifted up by family, friends, even strangers across town, across the country, and even around the world.

But prayer on social media also presents real problems, and I’ve gotten caught up in some, so I’m sharing some of what I have learned.  These areas have been stumbling blocks for me– that does not mean that they are “bad” practices in general, or that my questions or criticisms will apply to others.  But if someone else struggles with these thoughts or issues, I hope my journey might help.

  • Social media tends to promote the “tyranny of the urgent”– posts pop up screaming for attention NOW.  I feel pressure to respond immediately with something encouraging.  To say that I am “praying” or “I will keep you in my prayers” is encouraging–but is it true?  A couple of years ago, I realized that, in my desire to comfort and uplift, I had started stretching the truth.  I meant to pray for the person/situation/need…sometimes I sent a hasty and half-hearted thought heavenward before scrolling on.  But I wasn’t really opening my heart to God OR to the person in the post.  As one critic put it– I was making myself feel better.  My words may have given momentary comfort or encouragement, but they were basically empty and hollow.  I made a vow going forward to do one of three things:
    • If I can, I will stop what I am doing and take the time to really pray about the situation BEFORE I respond, comment, share, etc.
    • If I can’t take the time right now, but I have my prayer journal handy, note the concern on today’s page (or tomorrow’s) to make sure I include it in my daily devotional time, so I can pray thoughtfully and whole-heartedly.  Sometimes I will comment after the note is written, or after the prayer has been said.
    • If I can’t stop, add it to my prayer journal, or make a note– I don’t comment or respond.  The other person may not know the difference, but I will.  I don’t want to give a false impression.
  • Social media thrives on drama, algorithms, and visibility.  Recently, I received two similar prayer requests within a day of each other.  Two friends shared about two different men in life-threatening situations needing prayer.  One of my friends’ posts went viral, with people setting up fundraisers for the family, a website, and daily updates.  The other post simply said, “Please share.”  It got a few responses, and one update to say that the man had died of his injuries.  These men were both precious in the sight of God.  They were both badly injured in the line of duty, and both had families who loved them and were in crisis. They were both equally in need, but not equally visible.  I prayed for both, but I wondered at the difference in visibility, and how it might be changing our prayer focus.  I am tempted, as I spend time on social media, to be concerned about those things that are most visible.  But who is hurting in my neighborhood, among my friends, among those people I interact with daily– their needs invisible to me because I’m only focused on what I see online?
  • Social media is both social and self-oriented.  How many people “like” or “follow” me?  How big is the circle of people I can reach?  What impression do others have of me?  But prayer is not about me.  I have a bad habit (shared by many others–especially Americans, I think) of wanting to be seen as independent and self-sufficient.  I want to be the one offering support–the “prayer” and not the “pray-ee”.  But if I’m going to put myself “out there” in either capacity, social media tempts me to measure and compare myself with others.  I am tempted not to ask for prayer for little ordinary things, tempted to exaggerate some pains and downplay others, and tempted to respond to others in ways that make me look “good.”  That’s just human nature, but it’s also sin, especially when selfish concerns and petty thoughts crowd out the natural compassion I should have for others and the honesty I should have about my own weaknesses and strengths.
  • Social media is a “glass house.”  What you post in haste, in jest, or for your “besties” is out there for everyone to see– and judge.  We are told not to judge, lest we be judged (from Matthew 7:1).  There are several groups who love to quote the first part of that verse, but it’s the second part that relates equally to social media.  If I post beautiful words about prayer and encouragement for my Christian friends, and hateful rhetoric about my political foes, I had better be willing to own up to having a double standard.  The same goes for the random offensive, suggestive jokes, the rants about my noisy neighbor and my unsaved relatives.  Sitting in front of a silent screen tempts us to “let rip” with sarcasm, frustration, self-righteous indignation, and self-congratulation.  All of us have probably posted things we later regretted because we think better of our words, or because someone “took them wrong” .  I want to become better at prayer, better at communicating about it, defending it from attack, and promoting it.  But that comes with a responsibility to learn, be honest about my failures, and open about the struggles I face.

I hope to do just that as I journey forward– on- and off-line!

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Prayer is a Pursuit

“Stop sending your thoughts and prayers– they are useless.  Get up off your knees and take action, instead.”
I was stunned.  People had been reacting on Facebook to a recent tragedy by posting their concerns.  Most of them were heartfelt messages sending “thoughts and prayers” to the victims and their families.   But they were followed by a backlash of  anger and frustration so visceral that I felt sucker-punched.  Worst was an entire article that suggested that praying was a futile distraction– an admission of helplessness that actually contributed to inaction, injustice, false hope, and secretly condoned violence and victimization as part of “God’s will.”
As I reeled from what I felt was a sharp and hateful article, I stopped to wonder where that kind of anger and bitterness was coming from.  Some of it was obviously a reaction to the tragedy itself– a violent attack resulting in a senseless loss of life.  Such events leave us feeling shocked, confused, and helpless– How could this happen?  Why?  And, often, our questions are directed at God– “Where were you?” “Why did you let this happen?”  “Don’t you care?” We may question God’s goodness, his justice, and his very existence.  Our prayers may even seem futile– unheard and unanswered.
So why did the article and its suggestions shock and hurt me so deeply?  Was it a lurking conviction that the author had a valid point?  Am I wasting my time when I pray for those who are grieving and suffering pain and loss?  Am I wasting my time praying to a God who seems distant in times of crisis?

Which brought me back to the basics–in this case, what IS prayer?

This blog is an attempt to pursue the many interconnected answers to that question.  At its heart, I believe (as do most people of a spiritual bent, regardless of their particular religious tenets) that prayer is an attempt to talk to, to communicate with, God.  But what I believe about prayer is dependent on what I believe about God.  Does he exist?  Really exist?  What (if anything) does he expect of me?  Blind and slavish fealty?  Absolute, if grudging, obedience?  Idle/Idol worship?  A comfortable, acquaintance, a  mutual admiration?  A deep and eternal inseparable relationship?
Our prayers will be shaped by our answers to those and other questions– if I believe that God only wants me to recite a canned response every once in awhile, that’s what I will give.  If I believe that God wants me in perpetual groveling…you get the idea.

So what do I believe about God and how to communicate with him?  First, I believe that Prayer is a pursuit– it is my earnest desire to seek out the God who made me in his image– unique and precious in his sight.  I believe he WANTS to hear from me, and he WANTS to answer with revelation of his nature, his character, his heart.  Second, I believe that prayer is positive, because God is good.  Prayer is not an obligation, though it should be a discipline.  Prayer is not merely a ritual, though there are many forms it may take, from formal recitations to wordless groans.  Prayer moves us toward God, and toward others around us.  It is not static; it is not a vague wish or empty hope.
Third, I believe that prayer is powerful–much more than most of us recognize.  Far from being futile and inactive, I find that prayer leads to dramatic changes.  I have seen miraculous transformations–in myself, in others, even in the wider world–as a result of prayer.  The fact that God doesn’t always give us instant and dramatic answers doesn’t negate those times when he does provide the miracle.  And it doesn’t mean that our prayers were unheard, or unanswered.  Finally, it doesn’t make God complicit with the evil things that happen– God doesn’t give us cancer or send a flood to punish us for something we did or didn’t do, and he doesn’t keep us in pain or allow us to struggle without reason or remedy.

So, I am starting a quest to share my pursuit– things I have learned, am learning, and hope to or need to learn about this amazing gift called prayer.

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