Prayers in the Dark

We live in dark times. War, hatred, terrorism, oppression, destruction, and despair– they are all around us. And yet, we pray. We do not succumb to the darkness, but we seek out the light. Many Christians pray in literal darkness, as they have no electricity, or they are in dark prisons, or they worship in secret locations and inner rooms. But many of us pray in figurative darkness– our minds and eyes clouded with overstimulation and muddied theology. And we may pray “in the dark” about the situations faced by our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world– even in other parts of our local communities!

Praying in the dark, much like walking in the dark, involves a lot of caution, and a lot of trust. We pray strategically, knowing there are unseen obstacles and dangers around us, but confident that, with God’s wisdom and presence, we can avoid them and reach our goals.

What are some specific features that prayer should have when we find ourselves in the dark places of life?

Fervency–There is a quality of urgent and whole-hearted commitment to seeing God’s face, God’s wisdom, God’s will, God’s timing, and God’s guidance as we pray. “Not my will, but THINE, be done!” Christ, as He prayed in Gethsemane (see Matthew 26:36-46) We may not sweat drops of blood, but we should pray with a fervent desire to offer our bodies as living sacrifices (Romans 12:1)
Focus– Sometimes, we can “see” more clearly in the dark. This is because we have fewer (visual) distractions. When we are overwhelmed with darkness, we let go of lesser things and concerns, and we pray for those things we really need, rather than those things we desire. We also have a greater sense of God’s provision and power, so we grow more grateful and joyful for what we DO have.
” For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10 (ESV)
Frequency–I pray almost constantly when I am burdened or facing obstacles that seem impossible to overcome. Dark times can remind us that God alone can be trusted to lead us through. HE is God, and I am NOT! And like the men and women of the Bible who faced incredible odds, I can trust Him to hear and act. He sees me, He hears me, He Loves me, and He has a plan for my life that includes being with Him for Eternity!
“Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart
    and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:25-26 (NIV)
Fellowship– This one may seem counter-intuitive. Many times, I feel more alone in the dark. But I have learned that I can actually feel just as lonely in a crowd and in the light. Dark times may make our “circle” smaller, but we may find that our few relationships grow stronger, and we open ourselves up to suffering in others that we would ignore in our carefree days. I think of those who end up on refugee camps or cancer treatment centers– the friendships made there are sometimes stronger than family!
“Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God’s Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” Philippians 1:3-6 (The Message)

Darkness and trials can drive us away from help and hope. But when we learn to Pray in the dark– to seek God with a whole and undivided heart– He will be our light in the darkness and our hope in the midst of desperate circumstances. And we can take comfort, even in the midst of pain and danger, in knowing that we are NEVER alone when we pray– even in the dark! We may not know the perfect words or have the perfect circumstances; we may not be able to see our next step– but we serve a perfect God, who will never let us go. There is no darkness– no circumstance– that can separate us from God’s love or His salvation, or keep our prayers from reaching Him.

March 23, 2026 0

Where’s the Joy?

I love puns– friends from all over the world send me the craziest puns, “punny” images, silly videos, and awful jokes. Except for those that are patently offensive and find their humor at someone else’s expense, I really enjoy them all.

Someone has said that puns are the lowest form of humor, but I disagree. In fact, I often find that puns, like humor in general, can cause us to explore a serious topic in ways we would otherwise avoid. The image above tickled my funny bone, but it also caused me to think. Where is my Joy? Do I bottle it up and hide it down in my cart, or does it bubble up, iridescent and smelling of sunshine (and possibly lemons) from deep down in my heart?

I especially find myself looking for joy in the ordinary tasks of life. I really do not enjoy doing dishes, for example. But I can find joy– not the brand of dish soap, but the real thing!– even in such an ordinary chore. I can find joy as I clean the toilet, as I sort clothes for the wash, as I drive around town to do errands, and as I set aside time to pray for family and friends who are hurting and discouraged.

Prayer is a serious topic, but it shouldn’t be joyless. Even in our troubles, we can be confident that we are loved, cherished, and precious. In our grief and sorrow, we are not overwhelmed (though it often feels as if we are) when we have this kind of joy. It will wash away despair, anger, doubt, and weariness, as it rises up. We pray for so many other things– health, wisdom, forgiveness– we should also pray for Joy. Not the false and fleeting joy of a silly pun, or the veneer of joy that lies and says that “everything is great.” We need the kind of joy that sings through tears, laughs at storms, defies despair, and shakes the rafters!

Many people read about Jesus and conclude that He was a great teacher, but very sober and serious. And the Bible describes Him as a “man of sorrows” and one “acquainted with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3). Yet the Gospels also show Jesus as a man who welcomed children, shared meals with His friends, entered into wedding celebrations, and told His disciples to rejoice in the midst of persecution. Jesus was not a man who took life lightly, but He was a man who felt joy in simple things. He was able to relax in the joyful knowledge that even grief and pain are temporary, and our circumstances do not define our life. And joy is also listed as a fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23–“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. Against such things, there is no law.”

We need the quiet, blessed assurance that God is in His Heaven and even if all is not well with the world, God still has everything well in hand. Such joy, lodged deep in our heart and soul can keep us from buckling under the weight of loss, the exhaustion of stress, and the threat of chaos. It can fill us with peace and contentment, even as we go through ordinary or even dreary days. We need a new “Dawn” of “Joy” (yes, I had to include another pun). We need to pray for joy. We need to cherish it. And we need to pass it on.

The world could really use it!

March 20, 2026 0

The Prayers of the Righteous

James 5:16 Modern English Version (MEV)

¹⁶Confess your faults to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man accomplishes much.

Romans 3:10-11 Modern English Version (MEV)
¹⁰As it is written:“There is none righteous, no, not one;
¹¹there is no one who understands;there is no one who seeks after God.

Anyone can pray. God hears our prayers. God answers prayer. But He doesn’t answer all prayers equally. That doesn’t mean that God is unfair or unjust. It means that God listens beyond our words and prayers– He knows our thoughts, He perceives our motives and inmost desires. He also knows the consequences of all that we ask.

James 5:16 (above) is sometimes misused by Christians to boast in their “effectiveness”: in essence, saying “If God answers my prayers for a comfortable lifestyle or good health, it proves that I am righteous.” But this is putting the cart before the horse. The last phrase is contingent upon the first– “Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” It is the effective (prayers designed to effect others), fervent (heart-felt, committed) prayer of a righteous (cleansed, renewed in spirit and mind and heart) man (or woman) that accomplishes much (for the kingdom, for healing, for grace, unity, or renewal). The effectiveness comes after the confession; after the renewal, and through the Holy Spirit. If we are boasting about our effectiveness, we’re missing the point.

It is the humble seeker who prays for and with others, pours herself/himself out for “one another” who accomplishes much. Such men and women spark movements and revivals, not in their own power or wisdom, but in allowing the Holy Spirit to work in their lives, and in their prayers for others. Which is more “effective”– getting what I want for myself, or bringing lost souls to new life?

If your prayers seem to lack power, consider the following:

Who am I praying for today? What am I praying for myself? For others? For the Glory of God? Am I praying fervently? Diligently? Righteously? In confession and gratitude, as well as supplication?

Next, consider what it means to be “effective.” Are you praying for a healing that doesn’t happen immediately or completely? God may be using your prayers to great effect in ways you do not expect. God can bring spiritual and emotional healing even in physical suffering. He can also bring healing to others as they see our faith and hope at work in difficult circumstances.

Finally, ask if there is something else you should be doing in addition to praying about the situation. Are you ignoring a clear call from God to do something (or stop doing something) in obedience to His Word? Are you harboring a grudge against someone? Do you need to make things right with someone? With God?

The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous person WILL accomplish much more than we can imagine. What would our neighborhoods look like if we spent more time on our knees than pointing fingers or shaking fists?

March 18, 2026 0

On the Occasion of a Whimper

Have you ever noticed in reading through the Bible how often God shows up, not on the occasion of fanfare and praise, but on the occasion of a whimper? When all hope seems lost, and a heart is so broken it can no longer call out– when words are useless and all that is left is a dull, exhausted moaning?

God “inhabits the praise of His people” (Psalm 22:3), but He is also “close to the brokenhearted” (Psalm 34:18). We work so hard to get close to the heart of God, but sometimes, we need to be broken to actually get there. We need to experience the God who finds us in our failures and rescues us from disasters– even those of our own making. God loves us enough to come to us in our brokenness– and He loves us too much to leave us there. God is not a “fairy godfather” who will magically make our circumstances comfortable and painless. But He is a true Father, who will provide comfort and strength to get back up and face the future with hope and courage.

Long ago, a woman named Hagar was despondent. She was a slave who was told by her mistress to sleep with the master so he could have a son. Hagar got pregnant when her mistress couldn’t, and she became proud and disdainful toward her mistress. When she was punished for her arrogance, she ran away into the desert–a foolish and impulsive act, as she had nowhere to go and no one to support her or her unborn son. An angel found her by a spring of water and told her to return and submit to her mistress. Several years later, she and her son, Ishmael, were sent into the desert because of Ishmael’s contempt for his brother. Ishmael was near death, and his mother in despair. Not being able to watch her son die, she moved a short distance away and began to sob. But another angel came and showed Hagar a well of water. He reminded her that God had seen her the first time she ran to the desert, and He had heard her crying this time, too. Hagar was not a queen; she was not a warrior princess or the daughter of a noble. She was not righteous or innocent. She was a rebellious slave; the victim of a sinful scheme, but headstrong and rash. God did not stop her from running away; He did not give her victory over her mistress. But God rescued Hagar and Ishmael. And He blessed them both– on the occasion of a whimper. (See Genesis 16 and Genesis 21)

Today, don’t be afraid to whimper. Don’t pretend that everything is under your control– it isn’t. But be willing to look and listen for the ways that God will show himself. It may be in the words of a stranger; it may be in the beauty of a sunset; it may even be that song on the radio, or a cool drink of water in the middle of a desert. God doesn’t always rescue us from sorrow and pain. Sometimes He rescues us through it.

March 11, 2026 0

Out of the Blue

There is an English phrase for something that happens completely unexpectedly; we say that “it came out of the blue.” I thought I understood that phrase, but I got a deeper understanding this past Friday. My husband and I were in Elkhart, Indiana, just across the border from our home county in Michigan. We often drive the 20 miles or so to Elkhart for shopping, banking, eating out, and more. The weather was surprisingly warm and humid for March, with a light breeze and blue skies dotted with light gray clouds. David and I had eschewed both coats and jackets for the day– nearly unheard of for this time of year in our area.

But as we prepared to return home, we noticed that the gray clouds to the north of us had grown darker and heavier. And lower. Still, there was blue sky above us and to the south. It wasn’t raining and there was only a light breeze. We were listening to a radio talk show, which was suddenly interrupted by a high-pitched alarm. The announcer said that there was a tornado warning for our county– the one we were driving through!– and that we should be looking for rain and hail, strong winds, and possible tornadic activity.

We searched the skies– the same clouds we had seen in the north looked darker than normal, but we experienced no strong winds and no rain. About a mile later, we saw evidence that it had rained recently, but otherwise, it was calm. The sky above us was blue. Birds were singing. The air seemed fresh and calm. Still, the weather alert kept giving details. A tornado warning was in effect for the next 35 minutes for our county and the one directly east of us. But we kept driving. A couple of miles later, we saw a small patch of damage– a few twigs and dead leaves had blown across the road in one spot. The evidence of rain became clearer– there were large puddles. We drove through some of the area that had been mentioned in the alert– we skirted Edwardsburg, Diamond Lake, and Cassopolis. We saw small spots of rain and wind damage, and we came into some rain that was still falling, but it was gentle. Behind us to the south and west, the skies were blue.

When we arrived home, we looked at the recent news posts. We were shocked to see that several houses on either side of our path had been touched by hail and tornadoes just before came home, and that tornadoes were still doing damage to the east– in the town where our son lives! We watched as video footage showed the grocery store where I had shopped just days ago losing parts of its roof, while the DIY store across the street lost its entire roof and some of the west wall! Power lines were down, cars and small buildings were being lifted, twisted, and thrown back down on the ground. This was only a mile from our son’s house! And now, our cell phones weren’t working, so we couldn’t call him to see if he was ok. And our skies were blue–someone close by even posted pictures of rainbows!

It turned out our son and his home were fine– they were out of power for a few hours, but no damage to the roof or house or vehicles. Some of my cousins, who also live in that city reported on-line that they were also safe. Whew!

Long story– scary afternoon and evening– but it got me thinking. We were right at the edge of a dangerous storm path, and without the radio warning, we would have concluded that there had been no more than a rain shower around us. Had we been traveling just a few minutes earlier, we might have been taken unawares. This storm came with very little warning, and did a lot of damage, yet people were going about their daily lives– unprepared and unaware of the danger.

Tornadoes are scary because they often come like that– with little warning, and little way of predicting how strong or fast or dangerous they will be. But how many other things in life hit us “out of the blue?” A heart attack, an auto accident, a house fire–suddenly our life spins out of control. How will we react?

After the first shock, we can become lost in the immediate chaos– everything we depend on can vanish in an instant. “Out of the blue” we can lose our health, our job, our home, our relationships, our bank account, and anything else where we find our security. OR, we can rediscover our strength, our hope, and our trust in a God who is more powerful than a tornado; more solid and eternal than any building, and constantly aware of our circumstances– whether we are enjoying blue skies or looking at threatening clouds from the ruins of our family home.

I am praying for the families who were impacted by the recent storms– especially those families who lost homes or loved ones. I can’t offer the comfort of knowing why this happened, or what exactly will come next. But I can offer the hope of knowing the One who knows all things, and whose love is greater than anything else we could ever trust.

Sometimes, bad things come “out of the blue.” Bad things happen to people– not just “bad” people, or “good” people–for reasons that make no earthly sense. But such things, like tornadoes, pass away, die out, leave their mark, or move on. And if we look again, we will be able to see the “blue” sky– the good things that remain, and the hope of renewal.

March 9, 2026 0

The Lord is My Shepherd…

The Twenty-third Psalm is one of the most quoted and well-known poems in the Bible. In its short six verses are contained some of the deepest truths and most beautiful images in scripture.

Today, I want to look at just the first five words of the psalm: The Lord is my shepherd. Familiarity with these words can rob them of their true power. Imagine if we used a modern-day analogy: The Prime Minister (or King or President) is my life coach, or home health care nurse, or bodyguard. Can you imagine!?

How often do we gloss over these words and fail to see the amazingly powerful message there. The LORD– Yahweh, the Almighty, Ruler of the Universe– is MY shepherd. He does all the kind of things a shepherd does for his sheep– feeds, leads, protects, and provides. He fights off predators, binds up wounds, and shears off the extra wool that can get us entangled in briers or slow down our progress. He stands with us in the heat and cold, and finds shelter for us from the wind and rain. He does all of this for me, when I can’t; because I can’t. He knows everything about me– my strengths and weaknesses and limitations. He knows everything about what I need– where the best grass and water are and how to get there; how much rest I need before the next stage of our journey; the likelihood that I will wander off and need to be called back to the flock. He knows what dangers lie ahead, and how to deal with them.

The Lord IS my shepherd– He is always on the job. He hasn’t left me alone in green pastures, or sent someone else to take me through the valleys. He didn’t start out as my shepherd and then decide to quit. He isn’t waiting for me to reach a certain stage or measurement before I qualify to be His sheep.

The Lord is my Shepherd– not my task-master, nor yet my servant. He is both my Lord and my caretaker– my master and my minister. When I pray today, it is not to someone remote and aloof or powerless and malleable– I am bleating in my sheepish voice all my praise, my love, my irrational worries, and my sincerest gratitude, to the eternal and all-powerful shepherd who calls me by name.

March 4, 2026 0

Prayer In the Digital Age

Wilt thou love God, as He thee? then digest,
My soul, this wholesome meditation,
How God the Spirit, by angels waited on
In Heaven, doth make His Temple in thy breast.
The Father, having begot a Son most blest,
And still begetting (for he ne’er begun),
Hath deigned to choose thee, by adoption,
Coheir to His glory and sabbath’s endless rest;
As a robbed man which by search doth find
His stol’n stuff sold must lose or buy again,
The Son of glory came down, and was slain,
Us whom He had made, and Satan stol’n, to unbind.
‘Twas much that man was made like God before,
But that God should be made like man, much more.
John Donne, Holy Sonnets 1633, No. 11

In the Garden

1 I come to the garden alone,
While the dew is still on the roses;
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear,
The Son of God discloses.

Refrain:
And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own,
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

2 He speaks, and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing;
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing. [Refrain]

3 I’d stay in the garden with Him
Tho’ the night around me be falling;
But He bids me go; thro’ the voice of woe,
His voice to me is calling. [Refrain]

Baptist Hymnal, 1991

Sanctus Real– Pray (You Tube)

Times have changed– God has not.

God does not have a Facebook or X account; he’s not in Pinterest or Snapchat. He doesn’t post selfies or have a blog. But he is the same God that Adam and Eve walked with in the Garden of Eden; the same God who spoke to Moses as a man speaks to his friend. He is the same God who listened to the impassioned Psalms of King David, and the lamentations of Jeremiah. He is the same God who has inspired awe and fear in the hearts of apostles, poets, philosophers, songwriters, and evangelists over the centuries.

When we come before God, it is tempting to see him through the lens of our own times– we want him to be one of our “peeps”, accessible, someone who will answer a text or voice mail, “like” our post or “follow” us as we babble about our hours and days and show pictures of what we had for dinner or what we looked like heading out to the concert. We want him to be about US, instead of us laying down our lives for HIM.

Media– especially social media, can help or hinder our prayer life. We can access all kinds of helpful tools to focus our prayers, link up with prayer partners and groups, listen to inspiring music or peaceful slide shows for meditation… But more often than not, media becomes a distraction or even a substitution for real, serious, personal communication with God.

God is not our virtual friend; he’s not our “Bruh” or “the man upstairs.” He is the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe– every galaxy created at his command, every particle obedient to his whim. And he has given us the privilege to come before him as his adopted and beloved children to lay our hearts before him and receive his wisdom, forgiveness, strength, and joy. “Liking” your friends’ posts with Bible verses, sending a thumbs up or an emoji when someone puts up a picture of Jesus on their wall–if that’s the sum total of what you call worship, God has another name for it– Idolatry.

That may seem really harsh, but Idolatry is ANYTHING that we are worshiping in place of God himself. There’s a reason we don’t have statues of God the Father in temples and churches, synagogues, and chapels around the world. God warned us thousands of years ago about the dangers of creating substitutes. Even things that are meant to remind us of him can become substitutes for worship. That doesn’t mean that the crucifix necklace or the picture of Jesus knocking at the door are automatically evil– but when we stop reaching out to the real God, and focus on a false image, no matter how lovely or touching, we can fall into idolatry. And the distractions of the digital age have been shown to create isolation and depression, and become impediments among our human relationships.. We don’t have meaningful meditation or intimate conversations online with people at the other end– what makes us think that wireless devices will bring us closer to God?

That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t use technology to enhance our worship–just don’t make it an entertaining substitute for the real thing. You wouldn’t (or at least I hope you don’t) text and catch up on Twitter while having a face-to-face and heart-to-heart talk with your spouse or child. Give God the honor, the time, and the respect he deserves. You don’t have to live like a stone age hunter to get some alone time with God, but it is a great idea to set aside some time to unplug from media and the noise of this world, and plug into the wonder of meeting with God in the Garden.

February 27, 2026 0

Dona Nobis Pacem*

*”Grant Us Peace!” (In Latin, Dona Nobis Pacem)
“When Peace like a River attendeth my Soul…”
“Peace be with you..”
“Give Peace a Chance..”
Peace that passes all understanding–Phil.4:7

We spend our days rushing, working, worrying and stressing, always hoping for a time of peace, believing that if we work hard enough, rush fast enough, hope fervently enough, we will be rewarded with peace.

But this is contrary to the Biblical pattern. God has already given us a blueprint for peace, rest, and contentment. And it doesn’t involve working harder! It involves trusting more. And that involves waiting and resting. God wants us to work, yes, but He also wants us to rest, to seek times of solitude, meditation, and silence. This is not a suggestion given to a holy few–it is a principle to be practiced by all of us. God wants to give us peace for the asking—not for the earning.

When prayer becomes a priority, and not just something that happens in our “spare” time, or after all the “important” things get done, we should find that peace is a by-product of our pursuit. Taking time for prayer gives our mind a new focus, calms the rhythms of our heart and body. It forces us to step aside from the frantic pace of life– to lift our eyes (or close them) away from the flickering light of the tablet or phone, to sit (or stand or kneel) still and apart from whatever task is beckoning, and listen, not to the blare of the radio or TV or street noise, but to the underlying sounds of life–heartbeats, breathing, the slow ticking of a clock, or the retreating rumble of the world. We close our eyes to the distractions of “to do” lists and calendars, comparisons and competitions. We set our hearts on all that really matters in the long run.

Most importantly, through our time spent in prayer, we access the source of peace– The Prince of Peace! And it is this same Prince of Peace who will “grant us peace” if we just ask. You may not be able to set aside hours for blissful meditation. But if you ask, God will help you guard your time, and help you find those few precious moments of prayer and peace– peace with Him, peace that comes from Him, peace that passes all understanding.

February 20, 2026 0

Reading the Charts

Many industries rely on charts. Health care workers chart vital signs, fluid levels, symptoms and reactions to medication. Publishers of books and music chart sales by category, age of audience, geographical region, and more. Transport and shipping companies chart routes, weather, road construction, and fuel efficiency.

Keeping charts, graphs, and records can improve performance, solve mysteries, and increase understanding. It is good to keep charts in our Christian walk, as well. Charting scripture can show us where we have or have not studied God’s promises, warnings, and wisdom. Charting our prayer life can show us patterns in our communication with God, and help us see when and how God has answered our prayers.

I keep a prayer journal. Each day of the year has its own page, with lists of people to pray for in general, a geographical region, and more immediate special requests. But the back of each page has blank space. This way, as God answers prayers in these areas, I can record them. I’ve been using this journal for three years now, so the back sides are beginning to get filled up.

But that is not the most amazing part of what I wanted to share today. The most amazing part is that I have had to revisit some of the answers because God keeps answering them! Here’s a case in point: About two years ago, I wrote in a request for a friend who was looking for a job. There was a promising interview, and many friends were praying for a “positive” outcome. The job seemed like a perfect fit. But it didn’t happen. More prayers led to other opportunities and one of them seemed to be working out. I wrote the “answer” in my journal. But when I came across it again this year, I realized that God used both the previous opportunities to prepare my friend for something even better: a job that no one imagined two years ago! We prayed, expecting God to answer with something good. When the first answer was “no,” we trusted God to bring about something else. And He did. But I’m glad that I had charted this request, because I almost missed seeing how God used prayer to prepare for more than we had asked!

Another friend was going through grief and distress just a little over a year ago, and I was reminded of how God answered prayers for strength, peace, and rest. But I was also reminded to lift my friend up again on a painful anniversary, and to offer thanks for the ongoing healing I’ve seen– not just for my friend, but for her entire family.

If you don’t do it already, I highly recommend making a prayer diary or journal. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or complicated– I use wire-bound theme books and write in them daily. But you could use an actual bound journal, or a simple memo pad or old address book. Don’t worry if you miss a day or two– no one is keeping score or grading you–the main thing is to make it a habit to record prayers and answers. You will gain insight, remember God’s answers and promises kept, and be encouraged in the wait for other answers to come.

Prayer Journal

Proactive Prayer Points

February 16, 2026 0

Hearts, Hype, Hatred, and Hope

Tomorrow marks the celebration of St. Valentine– Valentine’s Day. It is a day of hearts and flowers, romantic dinners and gifts, all celebrating love and marriage. Many people choose to marry on Valentine’s day; many more choose this day to propose marriage (my dad did, in fact, and he and my mom were married just a few months later in 1963).

Gifts have gotten more elaborate and expensive over the years, though there are many who choose simple, homemade gifts or cards, as well. Advertisers promote their products as being perfect expressions of romance and love–diamonds, lacy nightwear, expensive candle-lit dinners, vacations, deluxe tool boxes, cars, spa treatments–if a new broom or pair of socks can be made to look romantic, look for them to be advertised as “perfect” for this year’s gift.

I have a long and difficult history with Valentine’s Day. I remember, as a school girl, being forced to choose, sign, and address valentine cards for every person in my class at school. Some were easy enough, but I had to send cards to classmates I didn’t like; classmates who teased or bullied me, or were just “icky.” I think most parents did the same, but I noticed that I rarely got cards back from everyone, and sometimes, the “icky” kids only got two or three cards, which they hid away in their desk or threw away. I never knew if they were glad to have gotten the few cards, or if they were embarrassed and hurt (especially if they had no cards to give to anyone).

As a young woman, I disliked Valentine’s Day for its way of sorting out the “loved” from the “unloved.” I was loved by my parents, and liked by friends and colleagues, students and neighbors. But every 14th of February, I was reminded painfully that I was not considered “loveable” by the young men buying candy, flowers, or engagement rings. Year after year passed with no gifts, no dates, nothing to signify that I was worthy of romantic love or attention. As I write this, I know there are millions of young women who are facing pain and rejection today, where they might feel confident and happy on any other, normal, day.

This year, Valentine’s Day seems like a bad joke– talk of love and romance rings very hollow when I see the amount of hatred being spread on social media. Should I feel “loved” if I receive a card from someone who spews hatred and death wishes for people they barely know because of something they said about politics or the environment? If I followed my parents’ rules and bought valentine cards for everyone at the office, would I be brave enough (or foolish enough) to send them?

The original St. Valentine (though this is disputed and there may be more than one martyr with the same name from around the same time) is believed to be a young martyr who was beaten, stoned to death, and beheaded for marrying young Roman soldiers against the mandate of his emperor. It was felt that soldiers would fight better if they were unmarried and unencumbered by family ties, but soldiers who had converted to Christianity wanted to live pure lives, married to one woman, and faithful to their vows. St. Valentine was committed to helping these men and women live their new found faith and show love for each other, and for God. For that, he was jailed and sentenced to die a horrible death. There were no greeting cards, no diamonds, no spa treatments on that day. There was suffering, death, sacrifice, humiliation, and loss. And plenty of hatred.

But St. Valentine’s death had quite the opposite effect than the emperor intended. God’s love has a way of shining brighter for being targeted, tormented, and beaten down. Real love doesn’t show itself in new clothes, hothouse flowers, or candle-lit dinners. It shows itself in a pouring out of self, and being willing to suffer for others– even those who do not love us back.

This Valentine’s Day, I live in hope that Christians around the world will demonstrate the true love that comes from God– a love that practices Grace, Kindness, Forgiveness, Humility, Patience, and Joy, even in the face of Hatred and Evil. Hatred shouts and raises its fists. Let Love whisper and reach out hands of service. Let Love kneel and pray for our enemies, and bless those who curse us. Let love be ready to die rather than spread hatred and return evil for evil.

Love One Another (1 John 3:11-24 ESV)

¹¹For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. ¹²We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. ¹³Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you. ¹⁴We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. ¹⁵Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

¹⁶By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. ¹⁷But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? ¹⁸Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

¹⁹By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; ²⁰for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. ²¹Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; ²²and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. ²³And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. ²⁴Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.

February 13, 2026 0

Category: Prayer