librarian – Pursuing Prayer

Years ago, when I worked in a public library, one of my jobs was to help empty the book drop. Most libraries have a large receptacle outside the building where people can drop off their books after hours. We had a “drive up” drop box, and the large bins would get full– especially over a holiday weekend! It was important to empty them out and get the books checked back in– and to check for damage.

I was always amazed at the state of some of our returned books. We were located near several beaches along Lake Michigan, and many of our books would return with sand trapped in the plastic covering (and between the pages) of many books. Some books came back with torn or dog-eared pages. Some had been marked with pens, crayons, or markers. Some books came back with unusual “bookmarks,” including utility bills, photos, letters, and even credit cards and drivers’ licenses!

But the worst one I can remember happened on a Tuesday morning after Labor Day weekend. There was a plastic shopping bag, tightly knotted at the top, containing two books. And it smelled HORRIBLE. It smelled like swamp water and mildew and dead animal! Inside, the two books were not just mildewed– they had mold growing in them. The books were almost a month overdue, but they were damaged beyond all repair, and I needed to call the borrower to let them know we would be charging a book replacement fee.

The story came out– I talked to the mother. Her daughter had taken library books to Summer Camp, and they had gotten wet after a rainstorm. Not wanting her clothes or other items to get wet, the girl had placed the books in the plastic bag. Summer Camp ended, and she packed everything–including the still-damp books inside the shopping bag– and brought them home. Somehow, the bag with the books ended up under her daughter’s bed, where they stayed for three more weeks! In the meantime, the mother had received an overdue notice from the library and couldn’t find the books. Certain that they had been returned, she had called the library to complain about “our” mistake. Several staff members had combed the shelves, trying to find the missing books, but hadn’t seen them.

Summer was coming to an end, and the girl in question was cleaning her room, which had begun to smell. She found the bag with her two missing library books– the source of the smell. Totally embarrassed, the mother brought the bag to the library book drop and threw it in, so she wouldn’t have to face us in person. She apologized profusely over the phone, and happily agreed to pay the replacement fee the next time she came in.

What does all of this have to do with prayer and worship?

Well, it’s a long and winding story, but here is my thought process today: It’s getting ready to rain. We have a small leak, and a bucket that catches the rainwater in our hallway. Water that drips into the bucket and stands for a few days will get fetid. That got me thinking about living water. Living water is described throughout the Bible– and it is always moving– flowing, rolling, gushing, pouring, etc., which reminded me of a verse in the book of Amos–“But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream” Amos 5:24 (NIV). But as I was looking at this verse in context, I was arrested by the verses just above–Amos 5:21-25 “I hate, I despise your religious festivals; your assemblies are a stench to me.Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them.Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!” (emphasis added).

God isn’t just mildly offended when we neglect justice, obedience, compassion, and truth. He calls the empty festivals of the wayward Israelites a “stench”– a nose-twisting, swoon-inducing, stinking, reeking, sweltering offense that causes the eyes to water and the whole body to convulse with repugnance!

And what had caused the festivals and religious assemblies of the Israelites to become a stench? They were following the rules for burnt offerings. They were singing songs and fellowshipping together. But it was all about THEM. They were not elevating and worshipping God, but worshipping idols dedicated to the stars and the sun and the moon. And they would leave the assembly unmoved, unchanged, and continuing in their wicked ways. They oppressed the poor and innocent and ignored the very God they claimed to serve.

Suddenly, my memory of the stench of those books attached itself to the condition of complacent, and even false worship as it was described by Amos. Those moldy books had been thrown into a convenient bag and then forgotten. They were ignored, shoved under a bed and returned late, shamefully treated, and falsely claimed as returned. Just like God’s people had treated His word, His commands, and His promises.

Water– rain water, river water, spring water–if it is allowed or even forced to sit still, can lose its freshness and stop giving life. Justice, righteousness, mercy– are all supposed to roll like water– they are meant to be shared, pursued, and spread. When we withhold justice, hoard mercy, compromise on obedience, make worship about spectacle and feelings instead of honor and true praise, we stagnate. Our testimony begins to stink. Our lives spill over with selfishness, bitterness, and apathy. When our praise becomes automatic, OR it becomes more about the spectacle than the Spirit– it will also stagnate and smell “off.”

As the rains arrive, I want to remember that God sends Living Water, not just to fill my cup, but to spill over and bring life to others, and glory to Himself.

Nothing smells like the freshness after a spring rain! And THAT’S the aroma I want to give back to God in my prayer time, my worship, and in my life!

I have several friends who are really great at photography– some have made it their profession. One of the hallmarks of a great photograph is “framing.” I’m not talking about choosing a frame for a printed photograph, but choosing natural elements that draw the eye to a focal point. It include perspective, focus, lighting, and even composition– which elements make it into the picture, and which ones are excluded. After all, photos, by their very nature, only show part of the whole reality. Even a panoramic picture cannot show everything at once, and the photographer chooses where s/he wants to place the focus and framing.

We have a tendency to “frame” our lives in a similar way. We focus on only part of the whole reality of life. We choose to “frame” our present situations, our past memories, and our future hopes– even when they are out of focus! We can do this in both positive and negative ways. At one point in my life, I felt I had found “the perfect job” as a youth services librarian at a local public library. It was pleasant work that made use of my skills, talents, and interests. It included a mixture of social interaction and self-directed projects. I loved the job, my co-workers, our patrons, the work environment–it was a pleasure and an honor to work there.

But I was viewing my job (and myself in that job) through a frame. There was more happening in the wider picture of my life and development. After more than a dozen years there, things had changed. I still loved the work, and while some co-workers retired or moved, and the staff changed a bit, the work environment was still mostly peaceful and friendly. I still found the job challenging and rewarding, and I had gotten to know people in the community over the years who truly felt like family. But, as my role changed, so did some of the relationships. As new leadership came, so did new directions and new priorities. And I had become “comfortable”– and somewhat complacent as well.

In time, it became clear that my “perfect” job was not only not perfect, but becoming a source of frustration, stress, and unhappiness. And there were other things happening that demanded my focus. I was preparing to become a wife and move to a new community. My mother’s health was deteriorating, demanding more of my time and energy. My future husband wanted to open a shop– someone would have to work there, and we couldn’t afford to hire anyone, even part-time. That meant working a second job at the shop while trying to maintain my efforts at the library.

As the “frame” of my life shifted, I felt confused, even angry, with God. Why would He allow something so good to turn sour? Why did I feel like I was losing myself? Didn’t He want me to be happy and fulfilled? Didn’t He want me to use my talents to help others?

Now, after a few years’ perspective, I can see some of the “rest” of the picture. I had begun to see myself through the lens of my job, and I was depending on that vision, rather than focusing on what God was doing in, around, and through my life. There was nothing “wrong” with my job, per se, but God needed me to be willing to let go and move in new directions. Now I am preparing for another change, as we have decided to close our shop, and I will look for the next step– a new job, new opportunities, new challenges.

My nation just went through a contentious election. Many people are upset at the outcome, while others are relieved. But just as it happened with my job, I need to be careful NOT to depend on politics and governments to be “saviors.” No political party or platform or policy can “fix” sin and brokenness. The “system” isn’t the root of the problem. As individuals, we need to submit ourselves to the authority of those in government, but only AFTER we submit to the authority of God. HE is the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, and His power exceeds that of Presidents, Cabinets, Congresses. Our nation must prepare for new challenges, as well as new opportunities.

I write all this, knowing that there are people going through much more traumatic “shifts” in their lives– the changing of a government administration, with its unknown power and potential can be worrying; the loss of a job, and a change of career is a disappointment. But it is not the same as the loss of a spouse or child, the sudden loss of a home to fire, or an unexpected diagnosis of cancer or other health issue. But the principle is not so different. God’s ways are eternal. Sometimes, we see the uncertainty and trauma in front of us, or surrounding us, and it becomes a frame for all of our thinking and emotions. But the “picture” is much bigger than just our immediate situation. God calls us to trust Him in all circumstances, knowing that His love for us is not just for this life, but for all eternity. Whatever we (or our loved ones) go through here is but a snapshot– one of millions that God will put together in a Glorious and Perfect collage.

Moreover, God gives us the privilege of listening to us when we call out to Him. We need not be afraid to ask, “Why this?” or “Why now?” or even “Why me?” But when we ask, we need to be willing to shift our focus, and remember where our Hope is Built– On Christ the Solid Rock. Even the sweetest “frame”– our career, our relationships, our identity, our politics, our happiness in this life– cannot compare with His faithfulness and eternal Sovereignty.

Tag: librarian

What’s That Smell?!

The Sweetest Frame…

Recent Posts