Why I Don’t Pray

Of course, I DO pray. I pray a lot. I write a blog about prayer. But there are times when I find it hard to pray; times when my prayers seem feeble or awkward; times when I just don’t pray. So how does this happen, and why?

Well, there are many reasons why our prayer life can go through a dry season:

• “I’m just too busy.” Sometimes, I let busyness and distractions keep me from spending quality time in prayer. I like to pray first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. But I’m not naturally a morning person, and sometimes, the night seems to get away from me. And my prayer life can suffer.
• “I’d rather worry about it.” This may sound like a strange statement, but sometimes, praying about a situation seems like I’m giving up “agency” over the problem. Trusting God and letting go are easier said than done. Worrying about a problem, imagining all the things I “should” be doing, or that others should be doing to fix it gives me a sense of ownership over my circumstances.
• “I don’t really want to talk to God about ‘that’.” God already knows my heart and my mind, but I want to hold on to the illusion that God loves me because I’m so good, not acknowledging that God’s love is His gift, not my reward. God wants to hear the ugly parts of my life. Yes, I stand justified by the work of Christ on the cross. I don’t have to wallow in my mistakes or beat myself up over all the ways I “fall short of the Glory of God”. But the more I try to pretend I am someone I’m not, the harder it is to remember why God loves me– He loves me because He IS Love!
• “God isn’t interested in this little thing.” OR “God is tired of hearing about this chronic problem.” I can stop praying about something because I expect God to respond like a person– maybe even like me. I get tired of listening to the same things over and over. I get tired of wrestling with the same issues. I want to come to God with a problem and have it solved– quickly, easily, and permanently. But God’s ways are not my ways. And God wants me to trust Him, regardless of the situation.
• “I’m not so sure about God right now. I feel let down, abandoned, or unheard.” Doubts and emotions can be so strong– if we let them take over, we will isolate, even from God. Praying during such times can even feel like hypocrisy.

There are many reasons and excuses that can cause us not to pray. I know, because I have fallen victim to them. But ultimately, they boil down to one thing– a choice.

Choosing to pray can be difficult. It involves discipline, faith, humility, and a burning desire to spend time with our Heavenly Father– even when our emotions and circumstances get in the way. It is helpful to remember why I DO pray:

• God wants to hear from me. I may not always FEEL this, but the Bible is clear about it– God WANTS a relationship with me, with you, with each one of His children.
• God knows the human heart. He knows our weaknesses, and He knows our hurts and how we have hurt others. And He will not turn His back on those who seek Him. There is nothing I can say to Him in prayer that will cause Him to withhold His love, His forgiveness, and His mercy. He is in the business of redemption!
• God’s ways are not my ways. If I feel that God is distant because I don’t see Him clearly, or hear Him directly, that doesn’t mean He is not there. Often, I don’t want to rely on Faith– I want proof of God’s favor; I want proof of God’s protection; I want to be able to “prove” God to others, and to justify myself. Prayer in the midst of doubt and pain is the very act of dying to that need and talking to God “anyway.”

There are still times when I don’t pray as often or as earnestly as I feel I should. But, like anything else worth pursuing, it’s worth the journey and the occasional struggle. It doesn’t get “easy”– but it does get easier, and richer, and more fulfilling.

If you haven’t been praying lately, or if prayer has become dry– DON’T GIVE UP. Don’t beat yourself up. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep on in the struggle. And if prayer has been wonderful and refreshing lately, WONDERFUL! But don’t trust in the feeling of powerful prayer– trust in the One to whom you are praying! He alone makes the pursuit worth it all.