But I Didn’t…

I could have welcomed that visitor at church this morning…
The one who looked a little lost; a little overwhelmed.

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I could have smiled when I paid my utility bill the other day–
When the clerk asked if she could help me, and thanked me, and sent me on my way.

I might have offered my unused coupons to that young man who was shopping–
The one with two boisterous kids in the cart, and very few groceries.
Maybe he would have been offended. But maybe it would have given him an opportunity
And a little hope.

I thought about calling an old friend and asking if we could pray together.
Maybe we could have met for tea or gone for a walk together.

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I had planned to clean out the closet and set aside some clothes to take to a local shelter.

I considered calling my sister, sending a card to that widower from church, or e-mailing my cousin…

I really needed to spend a little time in confession and repentance, and cleansing.
I needed to be renewed, recharged, and transformed. At least, I thought I did.
But something else claimed my thoughts, and my good intentions.
Now, I just feel worn and guilty and unworthy.

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And the “thing” is– I didn’t do anything horrible. I didn’t make anyone cry, or rob a bank.
I didn’t burn dinner or break the speed limit. I didn’t break my marriage vows or embezzle a fortune.
I didn’t break the law– I didn’t even break a sweat!

I just

Lord, today, I pray that you would light a fire under me. Help me to see the opportunities all around me– tiny acts of kindness, and truths that I need to hold tight. Show me people who need a listening ear, or a helping hand, or a word of encouragement. Help me to move “at the impulse of your love.” And when You direct me to be still, help me to be still and KNOW that You are a God of purpose and hope; joy and abundance. Help me to BE first–to Be obedient, to Be humble, to Be available. But then, help me to DO what you would have me do for Your Great Name. Thank you for second (and third) chances to BE and DO all that brings You honor. Amen.

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